While MTV is trying to find another bisexual to fill Tila Tequila's shoes for season 3 of A Shot at Love, the Tuesday at 10pm time slot is now occupied by Paris Hilton's My New BFF. It's ironic, because Paris Hilton is filling a hole in the MTV schedule, while usually it's the other way around for her.

The casting special for Paris Hilton's My New BFF was very revealing, though I'm still not sure of Onch's gender. Either way, this show is bound to offer fun, absurdity and enough offensive material to force E!'s The Soup into doing hour-long episodes. If you can't get through it sober, play the “That's hot” drinking game at home.

Paris says she's an amazing best friend and in the first 10 seconds she disses Nicole Richie. The competition begins immediately with the 16 girls, one guy, and one “other” attending a party. I'm trying to be as respectful as I can to Onch, the Asian guy who dresses like a female anime character, but even the other people on this show aren't sure of his gender.

It's impossible to sort out all these wannabe BFFs because the girls are all just as self-involved and celebrity-obsessed as Paris. Baje gets upset that another girl is wearing her dress, foreshadowing Baje's reign of bitchdom on the show. Paris is tired of watching from above, so she mingles with the commoners and the contestants fall over themselves to get some face time.

Paris exits quickly because she doesn't want to be a lame desperate Debbie who overstays her welcome at a party. Brittany and Bryan whine about not getting to meet Paris. Paris wants to break her potentials down, so after exiting the party, the contestants get Paris blackberries. Paris texts them and orders them to put on blindfolds and they're driven to a remote location. Some Las Vegas showman interrogates the contestants, getting them to turn on each other, while Paris and boyfriend Benji Madden from Good Charlotte look on.

As always, the potentials flip out upon seeing their BFF mansion. Paris texts that their luggage was lost, which causes Onch to throw a conniption fit and a girl to admit she's not even wearing underwear. Meanwhile, Erin, Athena and two other random girls are driven to the airport where they get a text saying they're eliminated.

The next morning, the remaining 14 arrive at an airport to get major makeovers before going to an exclusive party. Paris wants to dye Michelle's hair from blonde to black and Sinsu's from black to platinum blonde, and when the girls refuse they're denied makeovers. Bryan won't shave his already short hair, nor will he put on nail polish or eyeliner, so he's also denied a makeover. Their punishment is going to the party as is.

At the party, Vanessa throws Kiki under the bus for whining about having to cut her hair. The next morning, Paris texts Vanessa asking her to be her “pet,” spying on the others. The contestants are happy to see their luggage delivered, but they turn on Vanessa when they find out she's a mole.

Paris and her makeover crew sit down and judge the contestants' looks. Sinsu caves and agrees to go platinum blonde for Paris to save herself. Vanessa is the winner, but Kiki and Michelle are the losers up for elimination.

At the elimination ceremony, Paris sits on a throne and gets down to business. Kiki is there because she wants to go home and doesn't like her makeover. Michelle is asked why she didn't get the makeover, and her response is that Kiki wants to go.

Paris tells Michelle, “Our friendship is finished. TTYN.” For those who don’t understand, that means “talk to you never.” Kiki is upset everyone turned on her, so she doesn’t hug any of the “fake bitches.”

This season on Paris Hilton’s My New BFF: Fashion shoots, threats of violence, Perez Hilton, laughter, tears, and lots of people calling each other “bitch,” which is used both as a compliment and an insult.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)