In anticipation of the premiere of its newest series Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, MTV is airing a casting special to introduce the 18 potential best friends forever. If you’re looking for intelligent, thoughtful television, abandon all hope, ye who enter here. The title alone should clue you in that this won’t be your average reality show.

Right away, we learn a lot about Paris Hilton’s My New BFF when we see her list of 14 requirements for a best friend. You must like pink and dogs, and you need to look hot, not hit on her boyfriend, and “Must be a loyal pet.” With that list, this is destined to be one of the most fabulous trainwrecks in TV history.

The casting special begins with a quick look at the 18 contestants. Two of them are guys, though for one of those, gender seems to be less of a fixed constant.

Zui: Pronounced “zoo,” she’s an “Internet celebrity” who says she’s not fake. During the series, she’ll be a huge bitch and start plenty of fights.

Corrie: She’s a Texas model with heart who wants to be Paris when she grows up. Too bad she looks about a decade older than Paris despite having plastic surgery at least three times.

Sinsu: She’s an actress who is obviously hoping this will be her big break. Her big show drama is that Paris wants her to dye her hair platinum blonde.

Natasha: She’s a punk musician and massage therapist, the yin to Paris’ yang. She’s also a Jersey chick with an attitude, so I’m instantly in love with her.

Trisha: She’s a magician’s assistant from a town called Schwenksville, Pennsylvania. There’s nothing else about her, but that’s all I need.

Baje: The resident and self-proclaimed “queen bitch,” she also fills the quota of needing at least one black contestant on the show. She also wants to wring Onch’s neck.

Onch: He’s a jewelry designer and, despite being one of the show’s two guys, looks like a female anime character. He’s the gaysianest gaysian who ever gaysianed, and at one point during the show, he takes Baje’s toothbrush and rubs it in his butt before scrubbing the toilet with it and putting it back. He also cries for about 10 hours when forced to ride a roller coaster.

Erin: She’s a publicist who talks about having “quality of character,” meaning she’ll be one of the first to go. She clearly hates her job because she wants to be the star who needs a publicist instead of the one behind the scenes.

Vanessa: She’s a receptionist who makes so little of an impression that her personality may prove the existence of black holes. The other contestants seem to hate her because she’s perceived as a snitch, and she also cries a lot.

Bryan: He’s the other guy, one of those preening pretty boys who works as a “tanning salon employee.”

Kayley: She’s a “tanning specialist,” putting her way ahead of Bryan. She’s also Clark Gable’s granddaughter (yes, THAT Clark Gable), giving her a leg up since Paris is a fan of the spoiled progeny of genuinely talented people.

Brittany: She’s a musician who keeps it real, because she knows nothing about Paris. I instantly adore her when she says “I can’t handle stupid people.”

Lauren: This cosmetology student wants to be good to Paris and treat her right. On the show, she makes out with a lot of sketchy dudes.

Shelley: She’s a religious “fashion enthusiast” who’s also a virgin. She thinks she should win because she’s “a genuine good person”

Kiki: She’s a judicial assistant who may have made a sex tape, meaning by now she’s probably no longer a judicial assistant.

Michelle: She’s a broadcast intern whose primary qualification is that she looks like Paris. She has a little too much confidence.

Francisca: She gets only one mention during the whole special, and it’s that she’s a Hooters girl.


Athena: Based on the MTV website, she is a contestant on the show, though she doesn’t appear at all in the casting special.

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF premieres Tuesday, September 30 at 10pm on MTV.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)