Common Sense, Population: 0
First bad decision: naming this episode "Knowledge of Causes and Secret Motion of Things". Second bad decision: Alison inexplicably decides to put her complete trust in Vic. Vic, who beat Sarah, attacked Alison in a parking lot, dealt drugs, and generally is the type of person who gets his fingers cut off. Presumably she thinks all this means he won't judge her, so she confesses in unsettling detail how she killed Aynsley. Let it also be known that she already told Felix about this, so it's not like she had never told anyone and that fact was killing her. She's just dumb. I love Alison, but she deserves what she gets for this.
Alison overhears Vic talking to Angie on the phone and realizes that he's a snitch. For some reason she is surprised by this betrayal. She calls Felix, who is pretty much the only person she should ever confide in, and explains that she is too violent to go to prison. He comes by on the rehab's family day to try and talk Vic out of ruining Alison's life, but Vic says that he has to take care of his own crap. He's clearly still hung up on Sarah, though, so Felix says he'll get her to come by.
Cal Has People in Iceland. Of Course.
Before being sucked into Alison's problems, Sarah deals with Duncan's extreme hoarding. She still doesn't trust Mrs. S, but also recognizes that she's the most badass person on the planet and is thus an asset. They decide to bring down either Rachel or Leekie (preferably both) by dividing and conquering. Sarah's not particularly happy about leaving Duncan in Mrs. S's care, but she has to deal with other things.
For example, her daughter is still in the care of a man she barely knows. In the RV of Surprise Fatherhood, Cal realizes that he and Kira are being tracked via webcam. He calls Sarah and tells her that they're on the move and he'll get back to her about their location, and Sarah is still not at all concerned. It ends up working out, in that Cal does not kidnap Kira as he so easily could, and Sarah reunites with her daughter. This only lasts for about two seconds before she once again leaves, since she has to go save Alison. Kira is going to need major therapy later in life to deal with this chronic abandonment.
Questionable Rehab Tactics
Sarah heads over to family day to meet with Vic. He initially says that he just wants to apologize to her, but it's quickly apparent that he really wants her to apologize to him. He also lacks self-awareness and thinks he has a chance of getting back together with her. Granted, Sarah is sketchy as hell and has a history of not being a very good person, but even she can do better than Vic. Felix says "you have no idea how hot the new guy she's sleeping with is" (I may be paraphrasing) and Vic seems ready for a fight before he passes out from some sedatives Felix slipped him. That's one way to solve problems!
Because Alison is Alison, she volunteered to speak at the family day assembly. Her counselor comes looking for her and finds Sarah, so Sarah has to do the assembly while Alison and Felix try to hide Vic's unconscious body. Armed with only a headband and a poorly-mastered accent, Sarah tries to do a role-playing game with Donnie in which they play each other. It's pretty messed up that they're airing these issues in front of their kids and that the rehab encourages it. But thankfully Sarah has no ability to improvise and the kids don't get too many details about their parents' multitude of problems. Alison and Felix succeed in removing culpability from themselves by making it look like Vic just went on a bender, which Angie gets to witness when she shows up to meet with him. Presumably this means that he's an unreliable source, but we'll see if his storyline plays out differently.
And then, finally, Donnie stops being pointless. He walks in on Alison and Sarah together and almost has a heart attack. It turns out he didn't know about the clones, Dyad, or the experiments being routinely run on Alison. He and his terminally low IQ just thought he was participating in a long-term sociology study. He and Alison are finally honest with each other, and she yells at him for being so stupid and ruining their family when she loved him so much. There was really no way they could drag this Donnie storyline out anymore so it's great to see it shift in such a dramatic way.
Meanwhile, things are happening at Dyad. First, Cosima gets an erotic stem cell implantation. Everything seems to be looking up for approximately five minutes before she overhears Delphine being shady. Delphine admits the truth about the stem cells coming from Kira and the fact that she withheld that information. She insists that she didn't know about the stem cells' origin until after she knew they could treat Cosima. Cosima is furious, because the treatments will require more stem cells from Kira and will therefore put her at the mercy of Dyad. No matter what Delphine's motives, which at the moment do seem rooted in her love for Cosima, Cosima says she had no right to take the choice about whether or not to use Kira's cells from her.
Elsewhere, Paul meets with Leekie and lies about finding Duncan. Leekie knows that it's a lie and calls Marian the boss lady to discuss the situation and how it will effect Rachel. He then meets with Mrs. S, who says she has the Duncans' "missing science" research and that she will trade everything to assure Kira's safety. It seems that she's made a huge betrayal, but then she calls Sarah and tells her everything. She is simply causing trouble and seeing who will be left standing after the fallout. She also has Paul bring Rachel to see her father. During a very emotionally repressed reunion, he tells her the truth about Leekie. There has been an unprecedented about of truth telling in this episode and it's quite refreshing.
Donnie's Greatest Hit
The end of the episode brings a few major changes. First, Cosima calls Sarah and tells her about Kira's stem cells. Sarah is willing to bring Kira to Dyad, or at least bring some of her stem cells to Dyad, in order to save Cosima. Cal is less willing, since he only just met his daughter and Sarah is taking her to save an aunt she won't confirm even exists. Kira overhears their arguments and pulls her own tooth out in order to provide stem cells for Cosima. Her time with Mrs. S clearly had an impact. By the end of the episode Sarah and Kira drive off to help Cosima, and Cal has an emotional farewell with his long-lost kid.
The other change is that Leekie finally gets his. Rachel is livid about him killing her mother, though he tries to downplay it. She calls Marian on speakerphone and reveals to Leekie that a hit has been put out on him. Rachel gives him enough warning to get away, because he did raise her, but he has been ousted from power once and for all.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Donnie catches up with Leekie while he's running for his life. Donnie forces Leekie into the car with him at gunpoint and yells at him for ruining his marriage. Per usual, Leekie refuses to acknowledge how horrible his actions are and generally acts superior and unapologetic. Donnie yells that he's quitting, slams his gun down for emphasis, and accidentally shoots Leekie in the head. It's the most hilariously, perfectly undignified death that Leekie could ever deserve. And with that murder, Donnie and Alison finally have something in common.
Who Had the Worst Week?
Given that he was killed, however deservedly, Leekie definitely had the worst week. But let's look at how are clones stack up:
- Sarah: best option is to move to Iceland, may be making her child a medical experiment, continues to have no good judgement.
- Alison: is possibly more unhinged than Helena, has even worse judgement than Sarah, still married to Donnie.
- Cosima: treatment that may save her puts Kira at risk, at odds with hot girlfriend, only one dying even though she has made the least amount of bad choices this season.
- Rachel: learned that her mentor murdered her mother, father is mentally unsound, has a bad haircut.
- Helena: does not appear in this episode, but is currently being impregnated by a cult.
Instead of giving it to an individual clone, this week I'm awarding the title to their collective ability to make good choices. It has suffered more than anyone this season.
What do you think? Will Sarah really let Dyad have Kira? What did you think about Leekie's end? Do the people on this show have less common sense than white people in infomercials? Share your thoughts!