Previously on One Tree Hill: Dan learned he was getting a heart, Peyton learned she might die if she has the baby and Brooke learned that Julian is in love with her.  Only one of those was good news, and that depeneds on how you feel about murderers getting organs.

A Sims version of Dan walks into the hospital as Mia sings a song. The emergency transplant team rushes to get Dan Scott his heart. To make Dan seem sympathetic by comparison, a man in the hospital accidentally let his dog eat three ounces of Lebanese hash. Lucas and Peyton show up for their own issues.

What follows is the most absurdly hilarious and tragic thing to ever happen on television. Dan plays with the dog and the transplant guy runs through and trips on the dog’s leash. The heart falls out of the cooler and the dog runs over and grabs it in his mouth. God himself could not have written a funnier scene.

Wow, Skills is alive! Not only that, but he’s coaching the most adorable pee wee basketball team ever, starring Jamie. The sight of all these little kids pretending to play basketball is more adorable than a barrel full of kittens wearing Christmas sweaters. Jamie gets to the ball, but misses the final shot, losing the game.

Coach Uncle Skills tries to pick up the kids’ spirits after the loss, congratulating them on the fact that they didn’t pee in their pants. That’s a pretty low bar he’s setting, but after how hard I laughed when the dog ate Dan’s heart, Skills couldn’t say the same for me. Nanny Grandma Deb is impressed at how good Skills is with kids, and he suggests they might have a few of their own.

Lucas takes Jamie to the cemetery to give his game report to Quentin. He sees Peyton talking to her dead mom about her pregnancy and then Lucas visits Keith’s grave where Jamie asks how his Great Uncle Keith died. Lucas tells him to ask Dan.

That might be a little difficult, because Dan Scott is walking into the ocean and yelling at God, calling him “a miserable son of a bitch” and asking Him if a crazy nanny and a dog is the best He has. Dan refuses to pray because he’s giving up, so he lets himself fall into the ocean. Thankfully, he comes out alive.


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(Image courtesy of the CW)