On the Lot

Tonight on On the Lot, six filmmakers showed us horror films that they made over the last week.  This might sound pretty good in theory, but let's take a moment to think about it for a second.  A two-minute horror film?  Can that even work?  Isn't the horror genre based on audience anticipation?  Does two minutes allow the filmmakers enough set-up to make something truly scary?  I would venture to guess no, and the filmmakers tonight seem to back me up on this.  None of the films were particularly scary and everyone had a difficult time with the genre.  

Adrianna Costa walked out on stage without showing any cleavage or any significant amount of leg.  That was a disappointment.  The guest judge this week was none other than Eli Roth, director of the Hostel films.  Like last week, we cut straight to the taped elimination.  I thought Hilary Graham should have gone home but, after giving America a confusing and bizarre romantic sex comedy last week, David May was cut from On the Lot.  David seemed like a nice enough guy, but he wasn't up to snuff.  Goodbye.  On to the horror films! 


Director #1 – Kenny Luby - “The Malibu Myth”

Okay, so Kenny either made an okay satire or one of the worst pieces of horror we've ever seen.  For the benefit of the doubt, I'll go with satire.  If that's the case, the dialogue is actually pretty funny.  The film is about some part of Malibu where people are getting killed.  Rumor is, people got infected by something toxic and are now monsters who kill people.  A guy and a girl go check out the place (which they read about on a blog) and are subsequently killed.  It's filmed well, but the story is transparent and terrible.  But, the tone is good.  The judges actually like it.  Kenny remains an enigma.


Director #2 – Sam Friedlander - “Anklebiters”

Sam is a high-quality filmmaker, but I don't think horror is his strong suit.  The film is about this little guinea pig-sized monster that bites off the ankles of a little kid.  It's played for both laughs and horror, but doesn't fully connect on either front.  The monster is cool, and Sam shoots it well, but the fault is in the storytelling.  Again, Sam is good, one of the best filmmakers on the show, but horror isn't his thing.  Judges are mostly positive.


Director #3 – Andrew Hunt - “Midnight Snack”

Weak effort from Andrew, whose films I've previously enjoyed.  It's about an old woman who gets up in the middle of the night to make a snack.  Hiding in the pantry is a monster, whose grasp the woman barely escapes.  In the living room, the old woman encounters another monster, but she is unfazed.  Why?  Because the old woman is also a monster.  The joke might have worked if better executed.  The judges are pretty down on it. 


Director #4 – Jason Epperson - “Eternal Waters”

The judges liked this film, but I thought it was the second incomprehensible film in a row for Jason.  A mom wakes up from a nightmare about her son drowning and dying, to find that a burglar has broken into her house.  In a panic, she accidentally knocks down a picture of her dead son.  Water starts pouring out of the picture.  While chasing her, the burglar slips and falls on the water.  He gets sucked up into the picture and disappears.  The woman's son comes back to life in front of the mom's eyes.  It's shot well, but nothing made sense and, as Eli Roth pointed out, the mother's acting was terrible.  The judges, besides Eli, love it for some reason.


Director #5 – Shira-Lee Shalit - “Open House”

Shira-Lee is anything but a horror filmmaker and she knows it.  So, she made a quasi-horror film.  A pregnant couple come to an open house at a completely vacant home.  While taking a look at the old nursery, the woman starts seeing the ghost of an older woman.  The ghost warns her to leave quickly.  She had her child die in that very room.  The end, I won't spoil it for you, has a nice little tag.  The judges didn't like it at all, but I thought it was pretty good.  It wasn't that ambitious, but it was moody and had a story. 


Director #6 – Mateen Kemet - “Profile”

Mateen decides to not really make a traditional horror film, although the subject is certainly horrific.  A black man is pulled over by a cop and imagines the possibilities of what may end up happening to him.  The brutal beatings he takes at the hands of the white cops is shocking and terrible imagery, but there's no context.  The story is confusing, and the points of view change every few seconds.  Mateen had potential here, but the storytelling was way off. 


Based solely on the films tonight, I think you have to eliminate Mateen, Jason or Andrew.  My prediction: Andrew goes home.  I hope this isn't the case, because he's shown enormous potential in his past films.  But, there's really no point in predicting who American will eliminate. 

Next week, five filmmakers will screen movies based on the phrase: “When two worlds collide."


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of FOX)