On the Lot

That was better.  After last week's more or less craptastic batch of films, this week's crop of On the Lot films was significantly improved, although not as much as the judges would like you to believe.  There is such a discrepancy between the upper-echelon of talent and the lower on the show that it's unnerving.

How could FOX so blatantly cast people who were going to be in over their heads?  Like with singing on American Idol, there are a remarkable amount of talented filmmakers out there begging for their big break, a number of whom undoubtedly tried out for On the Lot.  There's no excuse to cast sub-par talent in the top 16, regardless of looks or their personal background.

Anyway, tonight's show began with Adrianna Costa walking on stage wearing a short dress that reminded me of Dobby the House Elf's wardrobe.  She was showing a lot of leg, which was good, but the dress was rather sack-ish, which was silly.  We cut straight to video and, surprisingly, to a taped segment from earlier in the week.  Adrianna and Gary showed up at the house our contestants are staying in and notified them of who had received the lowest amount of votes.  It was Jessica, not unexpectedly.  So she is going home and taking her pretty face with her.

Tonight, six filmmakers premiered two-minute comedy films.  This is what they looked like:


Director #1 – Shalini Kantayya - “Doctor in Law”

Shalini, who is a documentary filmmaker, was worried and uncomfortable about making a comedy.  She needn't be.  Her film was one of the funniest tonight, and it shows how much easier comedy can be when you're already an excellent director.  The film involved a man taking his non-English speaking father-in-law to the doctor for the check up.  The father-in-law is rude, so the man takes it out on him by giving the doctor a false translation of what his father-in-law is saying.  Clever and well-executed. 


Director #2 – Adam Stein - “Discovering the Wheels”

Ambitious, but nonsensical.  Comedies, to be successful, either have to be incredibly funny on their own or tell a story.  Or, preferably, both.  Adam's film didn't really either.  The film is about a group of cavemen who suddenly have a Ford Mustang zapped into their present.  They drive it.  It gets zapped back to modern time.  It gets zapped back.  Cavemen hijinks ensue.  Adam's a good director, but this was a misstep.


Director #3 – Will Bigham - “Nerve Endings”

The judges didn't like this one very much, but I thought it was a nice bit of inspired lunacy.  A brain surgeon has to leave the operating room momentarily, leaving his mentally deranged intern to keep tabs on the in-surgery patient whose brain is exposed.  The intern figures out how to move the limbs of the patient by touching different parts of the brain.  The judges didn't like that the film wasn't grounded in reality, but I didn't think that mattered.  It was funny and ludicrous and Will is a pretty talented guy.


Director #4 – Hilary Graham - “Under the Gun”

Hilary should not be in this competition.  She's yet to make a good film.  For some reason the judges liked this film, but it was as bad as all her others.  It was about a mother-daughter duo who decide to rob a sperm bank of its ...currency.  Hardee har har.   The ending makes no sense, it's filmed terribly and I don't know what else to say.  Bad.


Director #5 – David May - “How to Have a Girl” 

David has struggled mightily lately.  This film was not bad in concept, but a failure in execution.  It's about a couple who have read tips about how to have a girl/boy during sex.  It doesn't make much sense, and the two leads mainly wrestle around on the ground. Not very good.


Director #6 – Zach Lipovsky - “Die Hardly Working”

Zach, the special effects whiz, is the best director in the competition.  It will be a monumental upset if he doesn't end up winning this thing.  The film tonight was made without a single special effect, but he used sound effects in ways his fellow directors haven't even thought about.  It's about two bored office workers who pass the time by having an imaginary battle, with imaginary swords, arrows, battle axes and bazookas.  Great, funny stuff.


All right, it'll either be Hilary or David going home next week.  Also, the remaining six directors will screen some horror films.  That should be interesting.


Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Photo courtesy of FOX)