'NCIS' Recap: Dying of 'Thirst'
'NCIS' Recap:  Dying of 'Thirst'
On this episode of NCIS, H2O is the new weapon of choice. And Ducky's got a killer new girlfriend.

Why Did the Dead Guy Cross the Road?

A seemingly drunk Naval Reservist is stumbling down the road when he's hit by a semi. As the driver worries about his job and insurance rates, the victim keels over dead. Curious, since the semi barely clipped him. What was he doing floundering around in the middle of nowhere, anyway? He's a Naval Reservist, so you know who's going to be called in to investigate this one.

I'm in the Mood for Love

Scuttlebutt in the NCIS office is that Ducky's got a new girlfriend, and she's not McGee's grandmother. Leave it to Ducky to be the one to surprise everyone and find a lady friend on a dating site. I honestly didn't think the guy knew how to work a computer, which is why Palmer has job security.

While Tony and Ziva fight about who has the best sources for dirt on Ducky's new companion, Gibbs winds up running into her and Ducky sharing a little break outside the office. Ducky is only too happy to introduce Dr. Mary Courtney. She seems a little too perfect, what with all of her social service work and perfect blonde hair. Ducky's plenty happy with his new gal pal, between the nice paella dinner she cooks him and a stolen kiss. But as he gets deeper into the current case, he wishes he hadn't brought such grisly work home with him. He doesn't want to taint his personal life with his work, and I can't blame him. As charming as Ducky is, I don't want to hear about dead bodies and serial killers at the dinner table. Mary doesn't seem to mind, though.

Drowning on Dry Land

Ducky is at the forefront of the team's investigation, figuring out that the victim took Ecstasy and then drank so much water that he basically drowned his brain. Apparently taking enough of the drug makes you so parched that you just keep drinking until you can't drink anymore. I always figured drinking yourself to death involved alcohol. I guess you learn something new every day. When a second victim is found with the same MO, the team looks for connections. Who is the common link between the drug dealer and the two victims?

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Mary coaxes Ducky to talk about his day over a glass of wine. When he starts railing against the serial killer the team is investigating, Mary loses it. Ducky should be grateful to her for giving him such an interesting and unusual case. Doesn't he know that it took a lot of time and effort for her to set up deaths that would be out of the ordinary for someone who claims to have seen it all? Yeah, where's the gratitude, Ducky? A girl kills two random military men so you can have a good day at work and you want to have her locked up? Why do people say online dating is sketchy? This certainly sounds close to my dating life.

I wonder what happened with Penelope. She has issues of her own, but at least she's a peace lover. After this dalliance, I have a feeling Ducky may go back to dinners for one. The guy devoted his life to caring for his mother. The universe owes him a woman who's as adorable as he is. He clearly doesn't want to be alone. Apparently it's possible for someone who works at NCIS to find true love if Palmer's getting married. Maybe Ducky will catch the garter at the wedding.

Crystal Waters
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of CBS)