Last week, Gordana was auf'd when she designed a beautiful but sleepy nightgown rather than a spunky cocktail dress for the one and only Miss Piggy. Tonight, the top ten all-stars will have to show off their skills with speed. And a little bit of sugar.
The Challenge: Fast Food
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Angela says that the challenge is all about "taste," in two ways: They need to create a "tasteful" outfit inspired by a flavor of gelato. Mmmmm, gelato. The crack cocaine of ice cream. Everyone gets to pick a flavor, except some of the flavors aren't real. They're things like "fruits of the forest," whatever THAT is. (Gay gnomes?) Michael picks first because he won last week, and he gets a scoop and a swatch of grapefruit. He chooses who gets to go next (Mondo), and so it goes on down the line. Jerell picks "fruits of the forest," and apparently it's a yummy deep red color. So ... berries? Good to know! Kara gets picked last, and she's disappointed to get "chocolate with cayenne pepper."
Then Angela brings out the iconic Diane von Furstenberg, this week's guest judge, to explain the next aspect of the challenge: The designers only have six hours finish their looks. More line DIANE VON F*CKINBONKERS! That's barely enough time to put together a crappy last-minute Halloween costume, let alone legitimate Italian ice cream-inspired "fashion."
But there's one adorable plus to the craziness of this challenge...
It's like Mood, but MINI! Mini-Mood has been set up in the work room, and it's mini-magical. However, that means the selection of fabric is mini as well, so the designers have to make compromises and be resourceful from the very start. Everyone is running and yelping and practically pulling out their hair already. Mondo is stressing before he even buys his fabric, ahhhh! Only ten minutes in and I already need a vicarious Xanax.In the Workroom
Guess what: Mila's not working in black and white! Her dress will be RED and white instead, and that's exciting. So maybe there's a secret strategic edge to Mila's typically boring aesthetic: Just by picking a color
, she's already exceeded expectations. Oops, just kidding -- then I actually looked at her dress, and it looks like a Christmas tree skirt.
Kara's getting a lot of focus in the work room tonight, talking about her "make it work moment" where she's basically freestyling her tiered skirt.
When Joanna comes through, she hands out more gelato. I've never wanted to participate in a challenge so badly. What is this, Project Free Gelato: All-Gelatos
? But c'mon, Joanna. You know the designers don't have time to eat that sh*t! Just give the gelato to me instead.
The time constraint is making everyone feel snippy, and they lash out by bashing each other's looks behind their backs. Mila says Rami's look is "garish" and in poor taste, like a "lime explosion." Anthony compares Mondo's caftan to something he'd design in college. Ooooh! That's a burn on Mondo and all college students.
Kara's "make it work" moment almost turns into a "make Austin mad" moment when she won't vacate the sewing machine, but he decides not to start a fight because he doesn't have time for it. Aw, c'mon! It's like All Stars is ALLERGIC to drama, which is gelato for my soul. I don't need it, but I want it. And there's ALWAYS room for more.
With two hours left, Kara says she's "delirious" and "winging it." I've barely gotten a whiff of her look, but so far it seems to be a Neapolitan nightmare. And based on her frazzled soundbites, I think she's most likely to go home.
Mondo's orange and green "cantaloupe" look is very mod and abstract, but still "very cantaloupe," says Jerell. Then he says that Kara made her rail-thin model look like a "pregnant cupcake." Jerell is the best at throwing shade, but it's obvious that he's trying very hard to be that just so he can get some airtime. Too many stars, not enough room to shiiiine!The Runway
Isaac is back this week, along with Diane von Furstenberg and Miranda Kerr, who will wear the winning look to "an industry event." I hope it's a Victoria's Secret ice cream social!
I was feeling iffy about Mondo
's in the work room, but it's delicious on the runway. Not colors I'd choose to go together at all, but his magic eye has made them work.
I think Anthony
had pistachio. I'm not crazy about the pale jewel-tone green next to the washed out tan. And the top and bottom feel just as mismatched.
What flavor did Kenley
have? Passion fruit? Bubblegum? Cotton candy? It's fun, but it's giving me a toothache. Rami
thinks she looks "rich," but I think that sateen fabric in that chartreuse green, especially paired with that huge black belt, looks cheap.
! You managed to make red dull.
Just like Jerell
himself, his look is sassy and sensual and cool and ... trying a little too hard.Kara
's look reads waaay too literal. Like she turned Neopolitan ice cream into a fabric. And then turned that fabric into a tent for a pregnant woman to live underneath. Despite her proclamations, I do NOT want to lick it.
I was too busy drooling over Michael
's gorgeous pale pink gown and forget to take a picture! His draping is gorgeous and it looks very rich, but the color and sheen of the fabric are borderline nightgown.April
's color is very
blueberry, but the skirt is too short and uneven, and it seems unfinished. Austin
's model looks angelic and while the detailing on the strap looks like it could be lovely, from a distance it reads beautiful, but rather plain.
Austin, Rami, Jerell and Kenley are all safe. Which leaves Mondo, Michael, April, Mila, Kara and Anthony out on stage.Critiques: The Highest and Lowest ScoresThe Bad: Kara.
Georgina didn't get the "passion" of Kara's inspiration in the dress. It's not flattering and looks maternity. The Bad: Anthony.
Apprently his flavor was "green tea," and it was supposed to look like the dress was melting. The judges like the idea, but it reads too conceptual and "messy." The Good: Mila.
She says "milk" a lot, and the judges like the dress, especially for all the seaming she did in such a short amount of time. I still think it's boring, but I guess for six hours and for Mila, it's nice. But I hate the belt.The Good: Michael.
The color doesn't read grapefruit, but Diane thinks it's beautiful and beautifully draped, AND she tells Michael to "call her after the show." Even if he doesn't win, he just kinda did.The Bad: April.
Georgina thinks she was just too ambitious trying to make a corset in six hours. The back is "really scary," as is the belt, says Isaac. She went against her instinct and overstyled as well.The Good: Mondo.
The colors don't seem like they should go together, but they do. Angela likes how it flatters the figure, but Isaac wishes there was more body (ody, ody, ody).
In deliberation, the judges worry about Kara's too-literal interpretation of the layers of ice cream. Isaac asks, "Is she an all-star?" Ouch!
Mila's dress was Isaac's favorite, but the women don't quite agree. It comes down to Michael and Mondo for the win, and they're downright torn between Michael's more creative shape and beautiful draping versus Mondo's more original color combination and spot-on take on the gelato inspiration.The Results
Mila is safe. And the winner is ... Michael
. Again! Mondo looks pissed. Michael just won his second challenge in a row, Miranda Kerr is going to wear his dress, AND DVF wants him to call her? This is the best day of Michael's life. Oh, here's a picture. Looking good, Leslie! (Any ANTM
fans out there?)You're Out:
Anthony is safe, and his face says, "Lord Amercy." So it's down to April and Kara, and we all know where this is going ... EXCEPT OH NO WE DO NOT. Kara is in, which means April is out.
Oh, excuse me. I meant to type: APRIL IS OUT?!?!?!?!?!!!!
Are you kidding me, judges? Kara's been a hot mess since day one, her dress made me lactose- and
pregnancy-intolerant. Though I think he was being a little over-dramatic (and harsh), the fact that, after four looks, Isaac even questioned whether she's a true "all-star" should have sent Kara home. It doesn't add up, I tell ya! But April's gone. I was really hoping we'd get to see her make something truly lavish and creepy before she went. But now we'll never get to. Life sucks, eat more gelato.
Anthony is EXTREEEMELY excited to see Kara return unscathed. So excited that he forgets how the show works for a minute: Next Week:
The designers will put an age-old adage into odd practice when they literally beg the clothes off of strangers' backs to construct their looks.
(Images courtesy of Lifetime)