Here we go, the season 5 finale of Lost
. Sawyer, Juliet and Kate are in the sub, Sayid, Jack, Ellie and Richard are with the hydrogen bomb, Miles, Hurley and Jin are in DHARMA-Ville and John Locke is going over the river and through the woods to Jacob's cabin...to kill Jacob.
Before the episode started I had two theories: either this entire series is Jack's dream while he's on a space shuttle to become the first man to walk on Mars or Mr. Spock is controlling everything from his office in an alternate universe World Trade Center. Congratulations to anyone who gets both references.
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Oh ye Gods! So some dude weaves on a loom and goes outside to the beach on the Island to catch and heat up some fish. He sees a ship coming and another man walks up. They talk about the end and progress and how the ship found the Island.
The second man wants to kill the first one, but for some reason he can't. The first man is Jacob! And as the other guy leaves, we see the giant four-toed statue of Anubis standing tall right next to him. This episode will be insane.
And the confusing flashbacks continue as a little Kate and her friend steal from a convenience store. They get caught and the shopkeeper threatens to call the cops, but a mystery man says he'll pay for what she stole. The man is...Jacob! Yeah, this is going to be one of those kinds of episodes. Jacob makes Young Kate promise never to steal again.
Back to the sub, an older Kate wants to go back to the Island to stop Jack from detonating a hydrogen bomb. Sawyer doesn't really give a crap. I love new Sawyer.
Sayid reads through Faraday's journal and learns they only need to take the Plutonium core of the bomb to detonate. Richard is worried about Ellie because she's pregnant, but she isn't scared because she knows her son will be safe. Until he returns to the Island and he kills her, of course.
Dr. Chang is still scared about drilling into the pocket of energy, but Radzinsky is adamant. Was I asleep this whole time, or did Radzinsky suddenly get a whole lot more power than he used to have?
30 Years Later: Sun wants to know who Jacob is, and Ben tells her that he's in charge of the Island. Richard is still confused about how John Locke came back to life, but Locke suspects it's the same way Richard never ages - Jacob did it.
Ilana and Bram row up to the main Island with Lapidus, Ilana thinks their pilot might be a candidate for their group, whatever that is. Lapidus wants to know what's in the box, and when they open it, all he can say is: "Terrific" in a classically ironic tone. Maybe it's Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
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-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer(Image courtesy of ABC)