If you're still unsure of what the word "irony" means, this episode of Big Brother 13
has the answer. All week Brendon concocts an elaborate scheme and a web
of lies all to throw a wrench into HoH Daniele's plans. But in the end,
even though he thinks he succeeded in destroying her game, his "wrench"
actually gives Daniele exactly what she wants, proving that the real
tool in this game is Brendon.
There are few things that are certain in the Big Brother 13 house, but this is one I know for sure: everybody hates Brendon and Rachel. If you need proof, the editors made this week's "previously on Big Brother" shout-out moment Rachel falling during her run.
After the Nominations
Let the waterworks begin! Brendon and Rachel are reduced to tears after being nominated, and it's the absolute definition of schadenfreude because I'm laughing the whole time. Rachel vows to strike at Daniele with Excalibur, the undefeated sword, while Brendon assures her that if he leaves, he'll cure cancer, patent it, and they'll make millions of dollars. Really? The saddest part is that he's completely serious and genuinely thinks he's so amazing that he can freaking cure cancer. I though Brendon's last name was Villegas, not Christ.
The cockiness continues when Daniele tries to explain to Rachel how this is purely strategic, and she lists the points perfectly and makes her case. She tried to backdoor Jeff, but instead of Rachel saying "No" and keeping it to herself, she told Jeff and Jordan and turned them against her. So now Daniele can't trust Rachel and Brendon because they turned on her. See, it makes 100 percent sense. But Rachel doesn't care and still thinks it's personal. There's nothing anyone can say or do to convince Rachel otherwise, which is yet another reason why I hate her. Talking to her is like banging your head against the wall.
I imagine one day Brendon will be on the verge of curing cancer, but then Rachel will cry about something and make him spill the vaccine, thus ruining the greatest scientific breakthrough in history. Then Rachel will find a way to blame Daniele.
The Power of Veto Competition
Jeff, Adam and Porsche get picked to play, and for some reason, Rachel and Brendon are happy. Don't they realize that, even if one comes off, the other will almost certainly go home anyway? This is all about pride and ego, which, ironically, is exactly what they accuse Daniele of.
The competition itself is a great one combining all the past challenges. The HGs write down how long they think it will take to do a task. The person with the lowest time will do it, and if they lose, they're out. If they succeed, the person who wrote the highest time is out. Obviously Brendon and Jeff have an advantage since they've played in almost every competition.
Gumball Runway: From the week 2 veto competition, how long to chew 10 pieces of gum and stick them to the board across the balance beam?
Rachel does it and Adam is out first.
Puzzle Heroes: From the week 1 veto competition, the HG must solve a puzzle.
Rachel thinks she can do it in 38 seconds, which she can't, so she's out.
Hairy Spelling: From the week 3 veto competition, someone has to pluck 12 letters and spell an 11-letter word, "NOMINATIONS."
Daniele thinks she can do it in 21 seconds, which she can't, so she's out.
Moon Cow Milk: From the week 1 have or have-not competition, an HG must get three gallons of milk into the jug.
Jeff has to do it and he loses by about two seconds, which is rough, so he's out.
Putt Putt: From the week 2 HoH competition, the HG has to putt a golf ball into a hole.
Brendon writes two seconds less than Porsche and has to play. He sinks it with three seconds left and wins.
The scientist is mature as always, by which I mean he makes ugly faces during his diary room and essentially says, "Neener neener neener." But as I said before, it's a completely hollow victory, because Daniele's main goal is to get Brendon out, and she's still going to succeed.
What food will the Have-Nots get this week?
Coconuts and Catfish
Liverwurst and Lima Beans
Raisins and Rhubarb
Is the first one supposed to be a punishment, because a coconut-crusted catfish sounds absolutely delicious. But I'm pretty sure it's gonna be the liverwurst.
Brendon's Pointless Lying Plan
Brendon tells Rachel he's using the PoV to save her, but they're going to tell everyone else, including Jeff and Jordan, that he's saving himself just to throw the house into confusion. He hopes it will make Daniele slip up at the ceremony so she nominates someone who he could beat in a vote. Hilariously, his big master scheme is totally moot since Daniele already knows she'd nominate Jordan if Brendon stays on the block, and Brendon coming off the block would be the hard choice.
If that doesn't work, Brendon's other plan is intimidation, telling Daniele to put up someone like Lawon or he (or Rachel) will come after her next week. Um, Brendon and Rachel are definitely coming after Daniele no matter what, and Daniele is smart enough to know this. Brendon talks in circles and Daniele is so disgusted by it and flabbergasted by his lack of logic that she's speechless.
At the Power of Veto ceremony, Brendon shocks everyone by saving Rachel, and Jordan is nominated as a replacement. Brendon crows in his diary room session that he just brought down Daniele's house of cards with his brilliant lies, while Daniele is equally happy that Brendon, her real target all along, is going home.
(Image courtesy of CBS)