Are you guys ready for a little Howie Mandel? I sure am. Hopefully he'll offer up advice on how one can get a scalp to shine so brightly, but let's face it. He'll probably just focus on comedy.
Host JB Smoove doesn't waste any time introducing our remaining comics to their next challenge, called "Tram It All In." The challenge will focus on crowds, and thinking on your feet. Guess what our heroes will be doing? Oh yes. They'll be guiding lot tours around Universal Studios.
Enter Howie, who makes Nikki Carr majorly excited. "It keeps getting better and better," she says with a smile. Howie has been on the scene for awhile, and says that he focuses primarily on improvising these days. JB and Howie go over the map of Universal Studios, to help give the comics a heads up.
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Rod Man volunteers to work with Howie first, and he's thinking that his intro to his guests will be "Welcome to the bus." Next up is Lachlan Patterson, who admits that he's pretty scripted when he's on stage. "Go on your instinct," Howie advises. "If you don't know where you are and some silly thought comes in your mind, let that silly thought out."
Nikki Carr not only has a background of improv, but she's worked on party buses before. The hardest part of that job, according to Nikki, was not falling down. Karlous Miller claims he's not afraid of the task whatsoever. Joe Machi is thrilled to know that Howie is a fan of his, but claims to Howie that he's not a big fan of improv. Rocky LaPorte and Monroe Martin seem chill with the challenge.
Howie starts practicing by leading tourists to believe that Joe Machi was George Clooney. Really? Sure, it was a good exercise, but -- yikes. After that ends, the mentoring is over and the bus-leading begins.
The Bus Tour
Rod Man is first, and starts off by answering a question from a passenger -- yes, his last name is, indeed, "Man." He takes the tourists to the War of the Worlds set, and makes a joke about smoking on planes. The Wayans Brothers were all raised in the trailer park, according to Rod Man, and the mock earthquake and flood that the Last Comic Standing producers decided to add right afterward didn't prove to be too challenging for our top competitor. Even a fake murder doesn't throw him off.
Joe Machi is up next, and starts off nervous, barely even remembering how to enter a bus. Joe gets the bus clapping before delivering a few jokes. Eventually, he starts joking with the tourists. "I like that blue shirt, sir. Is that your wife?" Nikki Carr is third, and announces that she's the last female standing in the competition. The audience starts chanting her name, and Nikki gets into her familiar party-bus mentality. Karlous Miller mixes up directions during his tour, and views Jaws. "Someone record that and send me the video," he exclaims. Rocky LaPorte says that the bus going below sea level is similar to his grade point average in school. When he hits the Jaws set, he said that it was a fake shark, but "they use real plastic on that thing, from overseas."
Monroe gets slightly interrupted when one of his bus passengers is quick to point out a duck walking close by. "You say duck, I say dinner" he quips back. He compares Jaws to his grandmother coming down the steps, and tries to turn the bus turbulence into a twerking party.
Lachlan takes Howie's advice to use his instinct, and warns his bus that there will be no standing ovations during his turn. "Ladies, this is what happens when you put Q-Tips in the toilet," Lachlan states as the bus goes underwater. "This whole property was originally the set of a production called Mexico," he states at the end.
Based on the audience scores, the winner is Lachlan! Good for him. And not just because my crush on him has grown since I mentioned it last week. Again, I feel comfortable enough around you guys enough to truly express my feelings without any judgment. He has a comedy CD that I've probably purchased by the time you're reading this.
Our Comics Hit The Voting Booth
And now, it's time to vote. The person with the most votes must perform tonight, and they get to choose who they'll perform against -- but it has to be someone who voted against them. As per usual, the comics act hilarious in the booth, but nothing is actually revealed until JB rolls the video.
Lachlan votes against Joe. Seriously? Even Lachlan is giving Joe his condolences after the truth is revealed. Karlous votes for Rocky, and Rocky votes for Karlous. Let's hope those two don't secretly hate each other off camera. Joe casts his vote against Monroe, and Nikki chooses Joe. "No hard feelings," Joe says with a smile in Nikki's direction. Man, this guy is kind. Rod Man is up next, and he thinks he's funnier than Rocky LaPorte. That makes two for Joe, and two for Rocky until Monroe goes on, and votes for Joe. Again, no hard feelings. Joe chooses Monroe, since he feels like he's the best comedian out of the group. If he loses, he loses.
Roseanne comes in to give a pep talk prior to the performances. "Whoever gets the biggest laughs closest together with a strong finish is going to win," she says. No matter what, they're both wonderful.
With that, Russell Peters, Roseanne, and Keenen Ivory Wayans are officially announced, and Joe Machi hits the stage. He starts out with some health news, stating a statistic about herpes. He wonders why 30% of people polled had relations with someone with a visible outbreak. "If you didn't laugh at that, you may have herpes" he concludes. "Sorry about that, sir. What's your name? ... Nobody have sex with Ben."
Joe then talks about how he saw a handicapped man who was faking it, and when he challenged him on the matter, the man wondered if he wanted to fight about it. "The worst time to start a fight is when every bystander thinks a miracle just happened. This guy took his first steps, it was amazing! And then what happened? This other fella just punched him in the face!"
Russell likes the fact that he was edgy, and Keenen claims that while he was nervous, his style is so weird that it just works for him.
Monroe Martin takes the stage, and starts out strong. "I was called a racist not too long ago, by a black dude dressed as Batman. He got angry at me. I was laughing at him, like I'm supposed to. He got upset, and was like 'Yo man, you're being mad racist.' And I was like, 'Really? Because I'm the only person taking a picture with you right now.'" Monroe thinks that some people might have a problem with gay people simply because they "think about the sex too much." Any time someone thinks about sex they're not involved in, people get upset about it. He mentions that bears often have same-sex relationships not out of love, but out of aggression. "I kind of want to see that happen because I'm a comedian, and I'm kind of gross," he admits.
Keenen thinks that Monroe keeps getting better, and Russell was absolutely blown away by his set. As was Roseanne! She "Can't Believe!...." and can't even finish her own sentence. This will be a tough one. The judges already look upset about having to deliberate this week.
The judges are deadlocked! They've decided that... they want to see even more, from each comedian! Makes sense, since I didn't think this episode would end fifteen minutes early. Each comedian will have two minutes to prove themselves. So --uh. Again, it's Monroe Martin!
"I'm in a restaurant and I heard a man ask if the chicken is organic. And I was like... who the hell cares? I don't care if my chicken went to college and was into poetry!" he says. Monroe mentions his recent weight loss, and how he lost weight based on the fear of being a diabetic. "That's not a cool disease to have as a comic, because we all know that comics don't die from snacks, they die from drug overdoses." Monroe namechecks JB Smoove before leaving the stage.
Joe Machi excitedly takes the mic, and mentions breaking up with his girlfriend. "We got into a discussion over what we'd buy each other if we won the lottery. She's like, if I won the lottery, I'd at least buy you a nice car. And I was like, if I won the lottery, I wouldn't even tell you." Joe talks about drunk driving, and says how they never say "Don't let enemies drive drunk." After seeing a drunk enemy at a bar who calls him a loser, Joe stayed silent. "He's dead now! I texted him the entire way!"
The safe comedians comment about how tough the judges have it this week. I'm sure it'd be a stretch if they were like, "Okay, you two. Now do a one minute set! We're still undecided." I hate to be the one who says it, but in this case, it's true -- these two are seriously both winners. I'll be upset regardless of who gets eliminated.
The... Second Deliberation
The judges are still confused, and ask JB what to do. He suggests that they pick the winner based on "who puts the best jeans on," with a bit a frustration in his voice. At this point, there's still ten minutes left of the show. Expect a lot of banter from here on out.
JB looks exhausted as he's on stage with Joe and Monroe. Joe, as expected, is patting Monroe on the back and probably telling him he's such a great guy and that the battle has been an honor. While I can't hear it, I know it. Trust me.
The Third Deliberation. Seriously.
Oh. My gosh. I was wrong, you guys. The judges still want one more joke from each comedian, in a sudden death round.
A wide eyed Joe Machi takes the stage. "I haven't talked about guns yet. Um. I got into a discussion with my neighbor about gun control. He said, I bet if you asked the founding fathers what they thought about gun control, they wouldn't like it. I said, if you ask the founding fathers about what they thought about gun control, they'd respond with 'What's this I hear about women voting? And who is that in the White House? Is that one of Thomas Jefferson's kids?'"
"Back to diabetes," Monroe says, "I don't want diabetes because if I lose a limb, I want to be a hero behind it. I lost my arm in Iraq. People would respect me. I couldn't be like, yeah. I lost my foot to Pop Tarts. Pop Tarts took my toes! The war on snacks."
JB Smoove pleads to the judges to just make a decision already. He just wants to go to bed.
Who'll Be Sent Home?
Finally, JB has a solid decision in his hand! The audience applauds loudly. The winner? Joe Machi!
Joe and Monroe hug, and claims that both him an Monroe look great in swimsuits -- so please, look out for their calendar.
Keenen mentions how difficult the decision was, but the Thomas Jefferson joke put Joe one notch further. Alas! Monroe is not officially done -- you can always vote for him on the Last Comic Standing website
, if you want to see him during the finale.
Next Week: It's the final challenge! The comics will be roasting Gilbert Gottfried. I guess Gilbert couldn't get anyone else for a Comedy Central special.
Watch an all new episode of Last Comic Standing next Thursday at 10pm on NBC.
(Image courtesy of NBC)