Season 5 of Last Comic Standing kicked off last night with an epic two hour premiere that began in New York City, visited our neighbor to the north in Montreal, and ended the night in San Antonio.  The new host is former MTV VJ and, proprietor of the phrase "booty call", Bill Bellamy.  The new talent scouts are former Last Comic Standing contestants Kathleen Madigan, Alonzo Bodden, and Ant.  The international feel didn't work out quite as well as producers may have hoped, at least last night: Montreal didn't produce a whole bunch of winners.  New York did the best, of course, and San Antonio produced some solid comedic potential.  Here's what went down over the two hour episode last night:


We begin the night in New York City, at the Gotham Comedy Club.

Danny Morsel: he's a “combat dancer” who brings a doll that does nothing.  It didn't even make sense.

Lori Chase: single mom from New Jersey.  She starts with a rape joke, but it gets a little better from there.  Kathleen and Ant send her to the next round, which means she'll come back later that night.

Harvey Feirestein on cocaine:  I didn't catch his real name, but he sucked.

Dwayne Kennedy: black guy who does some racial jokes, and he's pretty polished, and he gets to come back that night. 

Michelle: New York sassy girl, who says “girl” a lot.  I didn't like it, but she gets to come back later that night.

I'm not going to even discuss all the people who bombed...unless it was a spectcular bombing.

Joe DeVito: a bespectacled, demented guy who gets laughs from a strangle joke.  Pretty good and he moves through.

Chris White: a nerdy dude who stopped working at the Washington Post to do stand-up.  Pretty funny and self deprecating, moves on to the night round.

Amy Schumer: a pretty funny young lady, who made a Cats: The Musical sweatshirt joke, which is sweet. She gets to come back.

Arj Barker: makes some marginally funny military jokes, but he gets to come back for the Showcase round.

And that was it for the initial New York auditions

Bill Bellamy introduced the showcase round for the New York auditions with some stand-up of his own.  It's pretty good.

First up, Pete Dominick:  not that funny.

Victor Varnado: is a black albino (really), and he really milks it to death. 

Dwayne Kennedy: he makes some Lewis Farrakhan jokes that are, you know, not bad.  The judges really seem to like him, though.

Wali Collins: funny, makes some Harlem jokes.

Chris White: funny, I like him.  He makes some leg hair jokes.

Lori Chase: she does a whole lot better than she did earlier in the day.  She has a good schtick, kind of a Sarah Silverman-lite. 

Jay Oakerson: a big, kinda fat guy who makes some Jewish jokes.  Mediocre.

Jane Condon: She's a mom and she makes some hip-hop jokes.  If you're a middle-aged mother, you might like her.

Calise Hawkins: Eh. 

Arj Barker: I like this guy and think he's got a bunch of potential, he just doesn't have it honed yet. 

Joe DeVito: Funny. 

Amy Schumer: She is very good, and I bet she makes it to Hollywood.  Lot of potential.

The judges deliberated, and decided who would be heading to the next round in Hollywood.  They are:

Amy Schumer

Joe DeVito

Arj Barker

Dwayne Kennedy

Jane Condon

Lori Chase


And, that's it.  These weren't bad picks.  I'm mostly just glad that Amy and Arj made it through.


Next, we moved to Montreal, Canada.

It's snowing outside in Canada.

Richard Ryder: a 40 year old gay man, does some gay Canadian joke in a rapid-fire delivery.  He gets to come back.

Gerry Dee: he got to Hollywood round last year, and does some arabic jokes.  They're okay.

We get a montage of women being extremely unfunny.  Kathleen isn't happy about this trend.

Debra DioGiovanni: Her schtick is depressingly self-deprecating and she does the subliminal man thing a lot. The judges like her though, and she comes back.

DeAnne Smith: a lady who looks like a dude.   She's got some attitude, but the jokes aren't there yet.  She makes it to the night round.

Mel Silverback: a Jewish dude who dresses up in a Gorilla costume.  Really funny and he gets to come back.

Now, it's time for the Montreal showcase.

Richard Ryder: he's pretty funny, but his delivery is a bit annoying. 

Ryan Belleville: he does some ADD material, really funny.

Graham Clark:  not bad.

Trever Boris: does some gay marriage jokes.

DeAnne Smith: she does some intelligent design jokes.  Not bad.

Gerry Dee: he's a really funny guy, and he works himself into such a lather that his face gets all red.

Debra DiGiovanni: she's all over the place, does too much cat humor, and I'm not a fan.  

James Cunningham: he does a big Mariachi band bit that''s not bad.

Mel Silverback: our resident Jewish gorilla returns and he's a funny guy.  I hope he moves on. 

The judges deliberate again and choose who from Montreal will be heading to Hollywood:

Mel Silverback

Debra DiGiovanni

Gerry Dee

And, that's it for Canada.  Not a very impressive showing from our neighbors to the north. 

Next, we head to San Antonio. 

There's a whole bunch of crap at the beginning of San Antonio. 

Ralph Harris: a stand up veteran, a dude who has appeared on Seinfeld, comes out and he's good.  Derivative stuff, from what we saw, but still good.

Andi Smith: a younger lady whose been doing comedy for four years, does some funny making fun of redneck jokes. 

Sabrina Matthews: a very butch woman, does some coloring jokes.  The judges like her, and she makes it to the showcase.

That's it for the auditions, and it's time for the showcase round.

Ralph Harris: he does a bit about how his girlfriend is really strong, and it's actually not bad. 

Andi Smith: I really like her.  She has a really dry, unique delivery.

Bob Biggerstaff: This portly, bespectacled man is mildly funny.  I like him.

Robert Hawkins: A cocky dude, who thinks he is way better than he actually is.

Phil Palisoul: He's got a weird delivery, self-deprecating, and the crowd loves him. 

Billy D. Washington: He does way better than in his first audition.

Dean Lewis: he does some car humor.  Not terrible.

John Elbow: he ends with a pedophilia joke.

The judges have dleiberated and they've picked who'll be heading to Hollywood:

Andi Smith

Sabrina Matthews

Ralph Harris


Pretty good decisions, if I may say so myself.  That's it for the premiere; it was a long one. 


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer


(Image Courtesy of NBC.com)