Kid Nation

Previously on Kid Nation: Sophia, Morgan and Zach were all totally awesome, working together and helping out not because they had to, but because they wanted to. The Town Council, and more specifically Taylor, was met with hostility over its poor leadership skills and penchant for bossiness. Jared's role as Bonanza City Class Clown was momentarily usurped by Alex's hilarious religion survey.

In my recap of the third episode of Kid Nation, I wrote the following: “Seriously, when are these kids going to overthrow this Town Council? Viva la revolucion!” Some readers mocked my desire for a peasant uprising. Well, who's laughing now? Not only is tonight's episode finally about re-electing the Town Council, but I even foresaw the episode title.

Zach begins the day trying to wake up Taylor and the other yellow team girls to get them to breakfast.  He predicts they'll yell at him, and he's right.  The blue team pretty much ignores their leader, Anjay, but not in a mean way, but just because he lets people walk over him.  The Magic Journal tells the leaders they should have town-wide elections.  Their faces drop, because they all know that nobody likes them.  Mike vows to fight for his spot.  Anjay just kind of resigns himself to the fact that Olivia (who?) will take it.

The kids have a food fight.  Anjay tries to stop it to give them the news, and instead they pelt him with food.   Zach asks a logistical question, and they find out everyone casts just one vote for their own district.  Sophia asks "How many of you are confident that you'll maintain your positions of authority?"  That line had to be coached, or else she is Doogie Howser-level smart, which she may be.

We get glimpses of each team.  Zach is rehearsing his speech.  The green team despite boasting Gold Star winners Sophia, Morgan and Michael, vows to re-elect Laurel.  Sophia gives a pretty great rationale, because while she'd be great, she knows that being in power causes more problems than it's worth.  On the blue team, Olivia walks right up to Anjay and tells him she's running.  She is so under his skin.

Time for Kid Nation speeches!  It's kind of unfair, because the existing Town Council stands up, then asks if anyone wants to challenge them.  Not very impartial.  Mike goes first, and he's challenged by Guylan, a home schooled kid who vows to make Bonanza City a democracy and not a dictatorship.  Olivia jumps up after Anjay's done, and the writing is on the wall for that poor kid.  Taylor once again gives empty promises about working harder and getting a second chance.  Zach says she's had a lot of chances, and then he gets up and does his best impression of a politician.  He uses all the speech writing tricks, talking about how he's tired of "Deal with it!"  I like him, but that was way too staged and forced.  Zach, you really don't need to try that hard to beat Taylor.  Afterwards, Mike sits down with Guylan, and I firmly believe Mike is the next Karl Rove.  He's a shady character, trying to talk his way into running unopposed.

The Show Down features more than 300 pinatas.  One at a time, kids must smash one and hope that it includes a photo of a U.S. president.  Each team must get seven photos and the team leader must put them in chronological order.  Taylor is quizzed beforehand, and while she knows George Bush is the current president, she has no clue who came before him.

The challenge includes kids smashing the bejesus out of some pinatas, and it's pretty awesome.  The blue team (aka the Nerd Herd) can't break open a pinata to save their lives.  Zach is telling Taylor exactly what order to put the cards in, because he's a genius and she is a pageant queen.  Laurel and Taylor finish at the same time, and while Laurel rings the bell first, she inverted Taft and Teddy Roosevelt, so they come in second and Taylor, with an assist from Zach, wins the Upper Class for yellow.

Kelsey says that just because Zach knew all the answers doesn't mean he'd make a good leader, and then she busts out the single greatest line ever uttered on television.  When talking about George W. Bush, she says "He's not smart at all, but he won the U.S, presidency two times in a row!"  The funniest (and saddest) part is that I think she meant it as a compliment.

Red comes in third.  Thanks to Anjay's knowledge of the presidents, blue finishes in the nick of time, and they win the reward.  Like a true politician, Mike is worried that this decision could cost him votes.  First choice is a full-on barbecue dinner, with hot dogs, hamburgers, ribs and everything else.  The other choice is dental supplies.  The whole town, of course, wants the meat.  But because Taylor needs a sparkling smile and Laurel has braces, the Town Council goes for the dental supplies.  Wow.  It's like they're actively daring the town to hate them.

Zach wishes Taylor good luck, and she rubs it in his face that she's gonna win because she has the girl vote.  Taylor and her clique make posters, complete with her catch phrase, "Deal with it!"  Markelle doesn't approve, and tears her poster down, then pogo sticks all over it.  When Taylor sends one of her minions (Leila) after him, he screams out that she doesn't deserve to be a leader.  Leila freaks out and starts crying because Markelle rips up her poster.  She repeatedly asks why, and he repeatedly says because Taylor does not deserve to stay in office.  Bad as his actions were, he's right.  He's so right.  The only reason Taylor is even competitive is because she has her yellow girl clique.  I realize they're kids, but girls like that were the worst in my schools growing up.  Afterwards, Greg comforts them like a big brother.

Kid Nation Town Council.  Despite the fact that Zach is the clear winner, the Town Council finally gives the Gold Star to Greg.  What?  I've been championing him forever, against what most people thought, and the one week he really didn't deserve it, he wins.  On the bright side, he says it's going straight into his college fund, so at least all the Greg haters can find that admirable.  It seems that Taylor has way too much control, because despite the opposition, she is getting her way with every decision this week.

Kid Nation Election Time!  Laurel is already in, as she's running unopposed.  Anjay wins 7-3, which...what?  I guess people love a spineless leader.  Guylan tramples Mike 9-1.  OK, glad as I am that he's gone, that's a little cold, because from what I've seen on this show, Mike is a very emotionally fragile person.  Sure, he'll try to make a joke, but inside, he died a little.  Now it's the big race of the day.  Zach vs. Taylor.  Zach gets cheered with every vote, while the crowd goes silent when one goes to Taylor.  The vote is 4-4 with one to go, and since the five-girl clique is strong, my stomach drops.  Then Zach gets the final vote and the seat on the Town Council!  YES!  I feel bad, but I literally applauded when the verdict was announced.  My faith in the youth of America was just restored.  FYI, Randi was the Judas who betrayed her queen, and though I've never seen her before, she's now my favorite.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)