'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: You Built the Army, You Dismantle It
'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: You Built the Army, You Dismantle It
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
On this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Joe and Melissa are leaving family drama behind for a trip to sunny Florida. Melissa's going to attend singer bootcamp run by music manager Johnny Wright.

When we last saw the Gorgas, troublemaker Penny was either throwing a guilty Teresa under the bus or lying to make Teresa look bad. Either way, Teresa definitely had some explaining to do.

It turns out, Teresa really only has one line of defense: deny, deny, deny. So apparently when her sister-in-law called her to tell her about the "Penny incident," Teresa simply dismissed the accusations. Melissa doesn't believe Penny is the most credible source, but she does think there is some odd three-way relationship between Teresa, Penny and Penny's husband, the mad tweeter John. As the season finale looms ahead, viewers will finally know the truth or be more confused than ever. But there's three sides to every story and only one is the truth.

Reunited and It Still Feels Good

The lovefest between Jacqueline and Teresa continues as the two head to Kim D.'s boutique. Kim D. has wreaked her fair share of havoc when it comes to the beloved housewives of Franklin Lakes, but it doesn't seem to be hurting her business. In fact, she's opening a second location, and the grand opening looks to coincide with the show's always explosive season finale.

Kim, who doesn't "burn bridges in business," informs Jacqueline and Teresa that Penny has been invited and will most likely be in attendance. Teresa relays to Kim Penny's latest antics. Whether Penny and Teresa were partners in crime is still questionable, but Teresa has no choice but to strike now that the cat may or may not be out of the bag.

Melissa Gaga

Melissa and Joe arrive at Johnny Wright's "compound." I thought only crazed anarchists, Hugh Hefner and polygamists had compounds. It seems Johnny has nurtured/managed the careers of Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, the Jonas Brothers and the Backstreet Boys, all of whom got their start on this property in Orlando, Florida.

Johnny informs Melissa he's got some big plans for her. Every performer he has launched globally has been embraced by a local radio station. He expects her to sing on the radio and hopefully earn the chance to perform at a live venue consisting of 150,000 people. Talk about throwing somebody in the deep end of the pool. Now, out of all the singing housewives, Melissa is the best. But her recording session with Johnny last week ended abruptly when she couldn't remember the words to the song or hit the high notes.

Melissa has a crash course with a vocal coach. It's not as cringe-worthy as Kim Zolciak's sessions, but she would benefit from auto tune. Even though Joe isn't impervious to his wife's flaws as a vocalist, he still claims her "voice is an angel from God." Maybe the wrath of God. Melissa is cognizant of her own shortcomings, and with a looming radio performance ahead, she's not feeling too confident.

Manja Manja Manzos

What better time for Chris and Albie to open their restaurant, Little Town, than during the filming of their mom's reality show? The time arrives for the grand opening. Albie feels especially motivated to succeed since he flunked out of law school. Mama Caroline and sister Lauren show up to lend support. Since Blk. isn't exactly taking the beverage world by storm, Caroline's hoping her boys will strike gold with this venture. She's worried if Little Town flops, Albert will never retire. The Wakiles, Giudices, Lauritas and Rosie all turn up for for the opening, as does the only opinion that matters, Albert. While I wouldn't call the cuisine, decor or anything else about Little Town stellar, the brothers get their parent's stamp of approval.

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Middle-Aged Pop Star

The time comes for Melissa to unclog those pipes and perform her new single, "Never Let Me Go." The Jersey gang doesn't let 1,000 miles get in the way of supporting their girl. Everybody catches her performance on satellite radio. Melissa hits it out of the park, and it looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship between her and Johnny Wright. In fact, her toughest critics are back in the Garden State: Kathy isn't a fan of the song.

Cyber Bully

Now Penny's husband, "Johnny the Greek," has turned his attention momentarily from trashing Melissa to trash tweeting about Jacqueline and Chris and accusing the couple of faking their son's autism. Jacqueline calls Johnny a "little b**ch," and that his actions have the consequence of possibly preventing her son from getting the help he needs, or her helping others. Jacqueline fears this new negative spotlight is attributable to her renewed friendship with Teresa. Drama follows that hot Italian mama everywhere.

Where's Johnny?

Everybody arrives at Kim D.'s opening. Teresa, Melissa and Jacqueline are just a few of the people with ulterior motives for attending the event. It's time to call out this odd and, in the case of the husband, elusive couple with a vendetta against the majority of the ladies. Penny shows up, but Johnny's presence is unknown. This doesn't stop Jacqueline from confronting his wife. Penny defends her husband and swears he never said that Nicholas didn't have autism. Jacqueline says the couple are both guilty of written attacks, and she questions Penny on where it's coming from. Once again, Penny claims somebody else is pulling the strings. So what are they getting out of doing someone else's dirty work?

What a delicious conspiracy theory. Somebody has it out for the wives and has chosen Penny and her husband to help him/her carry out a diabolical scheme. This sounds a lot like the plot to Pretty Little Liars, only everyone is 20+ years older.

Next, Penny has to face the united front of Teresa and Melissa. Penny isn't intimidated because she has no problem saying that Teresa is the one who told her that Melissa didn't go visit her father-in-law in the hospital. The two women start to bicker, which looks to be just a warm-up for the main event.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Sundays at 8pm on Bravo.

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(Image courtesy of Bravo)

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