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By Susan Young, Film.com

NBC should have stuck with its winning franchise name, The Biggest Loser, and subtitled it Semi-Celebrity Edition for this overblown summertime show.

Spencer Pratt whined on the premiere episode of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here that the lack of high-profile people on the series was devaluing his fame. This coming from a guy who most NBC viewers wouldn't know even if he was standing next to them in a supermarket line.

Not long ago, while waiting in just such a grocery check-out line, the covers of the tabloids were filled with pictures of the maybe-weds Heidi and Spencer of The Hills.  One woman wondered aloud who Heidi and Spencer were, and why were they considered celebrities.  Without outing myself, I quickly realized that only one other person in line knew who they were. And even that person felt a certain amount of shame in acknowledging the fact that she actually watched The Hills.

"Um, it's sort of this reality cable show about rich, dumb people," the girl stammered. "I don't know why I watch it. You just sort of can't help yourself once you start"

I believe this woman also had a cart filled with potato chips and chocolate.

In any case, if NBC's viewers tune in to the ubiquitous summer series I'm a Celebrity - and I'm not actually encouraging anyone to do so - they are going to get quite a tutorial on the Pratts.  Sure, there are other pseudo-celebrities on the show, although their grasp on fame is pretty tenuous.  You've got a former woman wrestler, former supermodel, two basic cable comics, a former athlete, a lesser Baldwin brother and Lou Diamond Phillips, perhaps the only kind of familiar name. He went from a Tony nominee and up-and-comer in La Bamba to a recurring role in Numb3rs.

So the only buzz-worthy folks on I'm a Celebrity are the Pratt brats.

Given the fact that Spencer and Heidi chase attention like a greyhound reaching for the rabbit at Hialeah, it's no surprise that they quit the show early on. Of course they came back, but not before grabbing the spotlight and effectively announcing that they would be the ones to watch.

Poor fellow celeb Lou actually tried to reason with them, saying everyone was there to raise money for charity.  So, he attempted a small shame game play that backfired. Lou told them that they were just hurting not one, but two charities if they walked out.

And dear Spencer replied that was exactly the reason why the two had chosen big charities, so they could take the hit if the Pratts ditched the show. Oh Spencer, such a kind soul.

It's a good thing they both tell you they are Christians, because there's not much evidence of any spiritual connection in the way they conduct themselves. Spencer even says that any kindness he might bestow on his unworthy fellow celebs is just a ploy to lull them into thinking he's a nice guy. He's built his rep on being the villain, and he's not about to change now. He knows where his fame fountain springs, and it's not about being Mr. Nice Guy.

The evil boy seems more feral than the jungle monkeys. We're just hoping that when the feces starts flying, Spencer gets splattered.

Let's just say that when Spencer makes Stephen Baldwin - the conservative Christian youngest Baldwin brother - sound like the voice of reason, that's troubling on so many levels.  Spencer is a spoiled child who never tires of acting out.

I'm thinking he gets up in the middle of the night to open the refrigerator just so he can have a spotlight shining on him.

Speaking of lighting, the oddly lit set seems more like a stage on some back lot rather than a real Costa Rica jungle. So maybe we are all getting punked.


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(Image courtesy of NBC)