Serena decides to stay in the Humphrey loft instead, and Dan tells her she should ask Rufus's advice about dropping out of college and aimlessly wandering and boozing through your adolescence, because he majored in it.

Georgina hands out flyers to her upcoming rooftop bash, and Blair is upset. Georgina tells Blair that she should face the fact that she's a loser here, and she's not invited to the party, either. So there. (But why are there physical invitations? That's what Facebook is for.)

Serena goes to see Rufus, but Chuck beat her to the punch, and he told Rufus of her no-Brown not-a-plan. Rufus tells Serena to pack up and really go to Brown now, and Lily never needs to know. Serena tells him to go ahead and tell big, bad, scary Lily what a disappointment her daughter is (this week), and leaves. She immediately calls Carter and asks him to go out with her that night.

Blair asks Dan if he has a date to Georgina's party. Blair thinks people take dates to rooftop keggers. Apparently so does Dan, because he takes her--not out of kindness, per se, but out of an odd sense of self-serving pity and self-centered obligation. ("I wish someone had done that for ME!" he insists repeatedly.) Georgina warns Dan that Blair is just using him to find a way into the popular crowd, or any crowd, for that matter. 

ZZZZZZZ: Nate and Bree "get to know each other," which means he reveals in the same conversation that he used to touch himself to his mother's L.L. Bean catalogs, and he kept the airline ticket from the night they met. They're falling deeper in luuuurve by the minute.

Serena and Carter go out for drinks, but really she just tricked him into going the same place as Chuck, who's brought a new set of investors for his speakeasy. Out of his own pure hatred for Chuck, Carter helps Serena badmouth Business Bass and ruin the deal, and Chuck leaves in a real huff, telling Serena that he only went to Rufus because he was worried about her. Carter is also jumpin' mad when he realizes he's been used (again), and he tells S that he won't be her bad habit anymore. 1 down, six thousand to go! (Serena's bad habits, that is.)

Blair lurks at the party, eavesdropping on two nerds arguing about Battlestar Galactica and the U.N. in the same breath, until she gets a phone call. Meanwhile, Vanessa, Dan, Scott, and Katie are having a pleasantly confrontational debate about Scott's poor professor recommendations, and Scott gets SUPER defensive and weird. He was always weird, but now they are finally getting a little whiff of it. I don't actually know what just happened but who cares--Blair just grabbed the mic! She cheers on Georgina's great party, and then drops the dreading c-word: "Christian"! All of a sudden, the merry pack of Bible thumpers from Christmas Past rush the roof, singing and dancing and passing out pamphlets about burning for the Lord. Blair feigns shock that Georgina would throw a party (especially the kind encouraging a bunch of minors to binge drink?) as a trick to convert all her new friends. OWNED!

Blair takes advantage of her moment by inviting everyone to join her at Monkey Bar and ditch the Conversion Convention. She tells Dan that he is invited, but Vanessa is not. V scolds Blair for trying to bribe people into loving her, but B doesn't want love. She wants loyal followers. Fed up with Blair's calculating coup-moves, Dan grabs the mic and convinces everyone to stay for the free beer (I guess freshmen like free booze all of a sudden!) and Blair leaves, shunned and headband-less. It's a dark day.

Rufus goes to Serena and tells her that it's okay that she deferred Brown for a year, even though she has no idea what she wants to do, and even though college is a pretty good place to figure that sort of thing out. And he will help her break the news to Lily.

Blair and Serena get warm and fuzzy on the Met steps, like the good old days! B is glad that S is still in NYC, LOL BFF 4EVA! Or at least until next week. Hugs.

Serena goes to Carter and tells him that she wants him, and he believes her. Kisses.

Blair then goes over to Chuck's house and climbs in bed with him. He's sleeping off his bad-business depression. They're adorable. Spoons.

Dan wakes up on the roof the next morning, and Georgina is asleep in his lap. They kiss. VOMITS!



-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Images courtesy of the CW