The play goes on, and tensions between Blair, Serena, and Dan are quite obvious.
Chuck meets with Mr. Campbell, whom he saw following Carter, but Campbell claims he has no idea what Chuck is talking about and leaves. Chuck gets a text that says “Eastview Hotel 10:30 PM.”
After Act One, Julien gives his actors a pep talk telling them to give birth to their characters while standing on a cliff (or something that equally makes no sense). He then threatens to murder anyone who embarrasses him in front of the critic who’s in the audience. Nate is snubbing Vanessa, and Julien patronizes Nate for his poor Act One performance, calling him empty. Nate storms off, and Julien tells V to put her camera on a tripod and watch the play from the front.
Dan and Blair act out a flirty scene on stage together when she starts whispering about getting revenge. Her non-subtle threats ruin the scene, but Dan realizes what’s going on, and traces the texts back to Rachel.
B and S are frigid with each other on stage, when Nate enters, sees Vanessa and Julien sitting together in the front row, and loses it. He goes on a rant: “ I hate these clothes, I hate this play, and I hate pretentious asshats who try to steal other guys’ girlfriends!” He storms off stage. Nate gets +10 for calling the director an “asshat,” and he opens a can of worms, as Blair pipes in and starts ad libbing about her own problems, with Serena and Nelly following suit. Nate comes back on stage and yells some more about Julien giving him a hard time for not understanding poor people. (He lost EVERYTHING, remember audience?) The play is ruined. Jenny closes the curtain. ‘All’s well that ends well,’ Gossip Girl says… But ‘sometimes, it just ends.’
Julien is embarrassed by his “travesty” of a play, but then the snobby theater critic walks up and commends him on his “deconstruction of the second act” in which he “melded” the kids’ aggressive emotions (and other nonsense), and Julien takes credit for “harnessing the raw emotion.” Vanessa calls him out for being a fake and runs to find Nate. Serena says she doesn’t know why she ever had a crush on him, and Julien looks at her pityingly: “Serena. I’m gay.”
Vanessa finds Nate and they discover the phone misunderstanding. But that doesn’t change the facts, Nate says, that they have nothing in common. Vanessa wants him to try harder to like the things that she does, and then he wouldn’t be so insecure. He storms off.
Chuck finds Elle at the hotel, and finds out she is all set to get out of the country to Brazil. He wants to meet up with her there, but she doesn’t want him involved in the plan. She thanks him for the money, and he realizes she was just using him. She tells him that he has a good heart, and should find someone who cares. (Evil woman!!! Get on that plane and out of here!) Thankfully, she does exactly that. Bye, Elle. We won’t miss you.
Dan takes the revolving blame game to Rachel, accusing her of sending the GG blasts about Yale. She doesn’t deny it. Dan’s ideals are crushed by the realization that a teacher who sleeps with her student might be less than honorable. He asks her to fix things with Blair, and she refuses. Dan storms off, and as he does, he sees Blair, tells her whose fault this whole mess is, and that he had sex with Rachel in the costume closet—giving her leave to use the information as she will. Blair confronts the ment-whore, and wonders how to properly punish her. Rachel is reeling, and says she doesn’t know what she’s become. She apologizes. In that moment, Blair sees herself in Rachel, and tells her that the punishment is to live with it. “I should know. It’s not easy,” Blair says.
Dan tells Serena that he’s responsible for the blast, because Rachel sent it. He told her because he was trying to explain to her that Serena isn’t like other girls at Constance. (Huh, Mr. Humphrey?) Before he can elaborate, a very hurt Serena cuts him off and leaves.
Vanessa goes to see Nate and says she’s sorry. She wants to cuddle with snacks and watch ESPN. Nate was busy watching the movie she lent to him. They both discover how wonderful it is to try new things, and that makes them want to make out.
Dan goes home to find Rufus eating ice cream alone. (No mention of how sad that is.) Dan apologizes, because Rachel wasn’t who he thought she was. Rufus also says sorry, but D asks for space to make his own mistakes (like he hasn’t made enough already). Rufus says that he can make all the mistakes he wants at Yale.
Cut to Blair nursing a martini at the world’s least-crowded bar. Serena finds her and apologizes for not believing her. Blair understands why she didn’t—“betrayal is in my nature,” she says. She calls all of this karma for her evil deeds. She brushes off Serena’s attempts at comfort, and asks her to leave. “You’re still my best friend,” Serena says, leaving.
Dan goes into his room and Jenny brings him a note that was left by the door. He opens it—the note is from Rachel, and says she’s going back to Iowa.
Meanwhile, Chuck goes to see Blair, but she’s out. He wants to wait at her house until she gets there. (YAY!) However, while his timing is wrong, Carter’s isn’t… he finds Blair, and greets her with a “Hello beautiful.” He offers to buy her a drink. And we all know what Blair does when she’s drunk and down in the dumps…
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-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Image courtesy of the CW