Chuck couldn't get it up for his lady from the Far East, so it's a good thing he's not being paid for his services.  Serena tries to tell him that it's a sign he's not over Blair, to which Chuck replies, "I don't have a romantic bone in my body.  Least of all that one."  He thinks that B will make for great "sexual Drano," and that one more trip around the block with her will fix his problem.

Eleanor Waldorf is rather pissed when she walks into her studio and finds Little J (Taylor Momsen) Tim Gunning her dress.  It's not Jenny's job to make it work, so she promptly gets fired for fiddling with the fashion.  Meanwhile, Nate finds out from Marcus that the Duchess will be attending the back to school bash, so he promptly cancels his date with Vanessa.  Rufus tells her she should go anyway, which is a lovely recipe for disaster.

It's time for the back to school hootenanny, and Chuck's first order of business is to attempt to seduce Blair.  It cracks me up that he refers to the Lord as both Fauntleroy and Bertie Wooster in this episode, which are two references only the bookworms in the audience will get.  Hurray for literary shout-outs!  Chuck (Ed Westwick) takes Blair in his arms and starts questioning her about her sex life, which she swoons over for a bit before insulting him and running off.

Nate confronts B about her attempt to lure Vanessa to the party, but he's quickly pulled aside by the jealous Duchess.  Just as she takes his hand, V walks in and sees them standing together.  In case things aren't bad enough, a blackout sweeps across the city and grinds the bash to a halt.  V tells Nate that she's not up for some creepy love triangle, but she's more understanding once N sits her down and explains his financial drama.  Wait, someone on Gossip Girl is immediately explaining their actions?  Shocking!

Even Cougar Catherine knows that Blair isn't having sex with Lord Marcus, and she throws that info in B's face after Blair calls her a walking cliche.  Apparently, his sexual inadequacy is legendary.  Sexual issues certainly aren't a problem for Dan and Serena, who find themselves trapped in an elevator with the power out.  Instead of resorting to kinky shenanigans, they finally decide to have a conversation about their relationship.  They blah blah about Dan's inability to deal with Serena's high society lifestyle, and eventually decide to break things off.

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