B comes home to cry over Chuck for about 10 seconds before her party starts. She’s back to normal by the time the parade of old women in pastel argyle sweaters show up to grill her for club admissions. She’d rather create a new life with these women than let Chuck destroy her, B tells S. It’s survival.

Jenny rants about being called a bully to the head mistress, which causes Nelly to spill that Penelope is sleeping with her lawyer dad’s junior partner. J’s eyes are a-twinkle: it’s exploitation time!

Dan confronts Rufus about the map, but Rufus brushes him off, and Dan storms out to find Chuck, whom he knows has the truth about this big secret that he just can’t seem to piece together, even with the overwhelming evidence in front of him.

C’s burlesque extravaganza is in full swing. Dan shows up, and even in his altered state,  Chuck is able to use the words “hoi polloi” and “Dickensian” against Lonely Boy, before finally telling him that he’s not the first-born Humphrey. Guess that’s a wrap for you and Serena, Chuck tells Dan. “Sharing a sibling is a bit much, even for me.”

Meanwhile, B is doing her best to impress, when the ladies of the Colony Club start to grill her about Serena, Chuck, Bart, and all her other unsavory acquaintances. B starts to throw her friends under the bus, and then stops. B stands up, says Chuck needs her, and scolds the women for being more childish than high schoolers. Way to go, B!

Back at Victrola, Chuck is seeing the room in a slo-mo haze, and Jenny’s gotten Nelly to spill the beans about Hazel and Isabel, and threatens to send it all to Gossip Girl if they don’t let go of Nelly. P relinquishes her throne to J, who now finds out she’s just won queen. J doesn’t want queen, so P takes it back—and takes Nelly too, who was just riding Jenny’s coat tails, hoping for a new master. When Nelly realizes P is her only key to attending the upcoming collegiate party, she rushes back to lowly serfdom. 

Rufus tells Lily that he wants to hate her, but doesn’t, and promises that her kids won’t either. Lily says giving up her son has been a hole in her life, and agrees to help Rufus find him.

B runs over to the club and runs into Uncle Jack. They rush up to the roof, where they find drunk Chuck, leaning over the ledge, looking ready to jump. They try to talk him down, but C says his father never wanted him, and yells “I’m Chuck Bass! No one cares.”

“I do.” Blair says, “I’ll always be here.” She convinces him to come down, if not for himself, then for her. C takes her hand and gets off the ledge. They embrace, and C apologizes.

Rufus calls Dan and asks him not to tell Serena about their long lost son, whom they are going to look for right now. It’s Lily’s secret to tell. Dan reluctantly agrees.

As the episode ends, Jack takes C home with him, saying he’ll have a better chance of keeping C around than anyone else. “He can’t know what happened on New Years,” Blair tells Jack as they leave. Uh oh. We knew this Uncle wasn’t so charismatic for no reason. Sounds like Blair’s New Years kiss was anything but innocent.

Lily and Rufus get into a car, off to search for their son, and Gossip Girl reminds us, “The past is always with us, just waiting to mess with the present.”



-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)


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