S and B reunite with a hug, and Blair spills that she used the “L” word on Chuck and wishes she hadn’t. Dan comes up from behind, and Blair walks off, threatening to vomit when she sees that he and S are back together. Dan suggests the two of them play a little hooky. On the first day of classes, no less.
Lily goes to the gallery to see Rufus, who demands to know where his child is. Lily lets a male pronoun slip out, but won’t budge on the other details. Rufus declares that he’s a dad, it’s what he does. And now that he knows he has a son, Rufus resolves to find him without Lily’s help. Lily insists that the boy deserves his own life without them.
Meanwhile, Little J and Eric watch as Penelope forces Nelly to buff her yellow pump. J politely steps in and asks for a little humanity, but Penelope, unable to oblige, doesn’t back down. J and E steal Nelly away before P makes her lick the shoe, and the feud is officially on.
Chuck shows up to school having missed all his classes, and B finds him smoking a joint in the middle of the hallway. He’s either so detached or drugged out that he won’t look her in the eye. B forces him to, and doesn’t like what she sees, asking “Who are you?” The head mistress shows up to the stench of hash before he can answer.
S and D are in the mid-stages of undress at Dan’s place when Rufus walks in and forces Serena to leave. D is pissed. As S walks out, Rufus tells Dan that dating S again is a mistake. Now D is really pissed, and storms out after her.
Back at school, B decides to represent C to the head mistress, because he’s in no state to do so himself. As the hearing starts, Uncle Jack shows up to help out. B defends C, saying he’s been through an ordeal and is a victim of temporary insanity. Head mistress asks C to promise that it will never happen again. He replies by taking out another joint and walking out. “So what kind of suspension are we talking about?” says Jack.
The next morning, the Humphrey men aren’t speaking. Little J is confused by the silence, but can’t get any info out of either of them.
At school, the girls hold a trial for Nelly’s freedom, with J playing the prosecution. Penelope defends, saying that terror is their tradition, and one girl quitting will cause a full mutiny in the ranks. Judge Blair cuts them both off with a big “Who Cares?” and says she’s grown out of this. Confused, the P and her gang regroup, and P talks about sending Nelly home in a body bag. This new queen is a bit too crazy, even after Blair.
S consoles B, saying the weed incident is just a normal Chuck move. No, Blair says, this time it’s different. When she looked in his eyes, she couldn’t see Chuck anymore.
Little J, Eric, and Nelly are sitting at Penelope’s table. P, Hazel, and Isabel show up, not too pleased. The heroes hold their ground as the rush comes in, and all the tables begin to fill. Out of options, P calls her daddy and tattles, saying there’s “ a girl bullying” her.
B knows where to find Chuck, and sure enough, he’s sandwiched between two skanks at Victrola, which he’s bought back for a high price. C says he’s hosting a party at the club tonight. B begs him to stop this madness, that it isn’t him. C says Bart was the only one who saw him for what he was, and it’s time for B to let go of her fantasies about him. C dismisses her with the same unsettling detachment as before.
D comes home to snoop around for evidence of whatever Rufus is keeping from him. He finds a map of Boston with adoption agencies marked. D calls one of the numbers, and the light bulb above his head seems to flicker for a brief second. But only for a second.
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