Serena (Blake Lively) is thrilled that Aaron wants her to pose for him, but B just wants to rant about how terrible Cyrus is.  He's more Danny DeVito than Cary Grant, and he even has a catchphrase!  While Blair experiences her weekly meltdown, Dan meets with Bart Bass, claiming that he wants to learn more about the construction business.  Bart agrees to let him shadow him for a couple days a week, and even invites Humphrey to a hockey game.  That Basstard.

"I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me," B mutters to herself as Cyrus rants about the high price of flowers.  Cyrus has gone out of his way to buy Eleanor tickets to a Cyndi Lauper concert, but B isn't thrilled that her mom will be singing along to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" when she's supposed to be attending her b-day bash.  Eleanor decides the star of Vibes is more important than her daughter, which inspires B to destroy Cyrus' reputation.  She arranges a dinner meeting with the man to grill him for some juicy scandals, but he ends up telling her a touching, heartfelt story about a woman he fell in love with in Vietnam.  His love for her was so strong that he broke things off with his wife, which is a fact B immediately passes on to her mother.  Of course, she leaves out the part about it being touching and heartfelt, instead making it sound sleazy and awful.

After doing some digging, Dan (Penn Badgley) discovers that Bart Bass intentionally lit a building ablaze in order to collect insurance money.  He asks Bart if the rumor is true, at which point he Bart reveals that he's been agonizing over someone's death for 20 years.  Before Dan can figure out who or what he's talking about, Chuck interrupts and reveals that Dan is fishing for info for a magazine story.  Bart offers to pay Dan off, but Humphrey is too good for bribes.

Serena takes some beautiful pictures with Aaron, and though she thinks they're sharing something special, the fact that he meets with a hot model afterwards leaves her confused.  That's kind of boring, so let's talk about Blair's 18th birthday party, which, thanks to Cyrus, features a very special concert from Cyndi Lauper!  B is so inspired by Cyndi's presence that she runs off to put in a good word for Cyrus with her mother.  I always knew that "She Bop" could bring people together.

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