'Gossip Girl' Recap: All's Fair in Love and Art Auctions
'Gossip Girl' Recap: All's Fair in Love and Art Auctions
Meghan Carlson
Meghan Carlson
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Tonight on Gossip Girl: It's a couples spree! Chuck and Blair are in a bit of a dry spell thanks to Chuck's newly found business ethic. Carter and Serena are officially "dating," which means walking aimlessly around together and kissing on street corners. Vanessa and Scott are heating up and really getting close, even though she still doesn't know his real name, why he came to New York, or that he isn't even a student. (Which begs the question: where, exactly, does Scott live? Is he in a fake dorm, too?) And then there's Dan and Georgina: putting a smelly sock on the door handle in an apt metaphor for the smelly mess they seem to think is a relationship, or at the very least, a "friends with benefits" situation.

Blair walks in on a shirtless Dan and stoned Georgina (I assume. Because her eyes are half-closed and she's talking slowly. Not exactly symptoms of a raging libido.) about to bump uglies, and kicks Dan out into the hall, where he runs into Serena. And Vanessa. His two beards vow to taunt him endlessly for hooking up with Georgie. Vanessa is just thankful it's not Blair. Serena is just thankful it's not her shame they're discussing. For once.

Read the Best and Worst Quotes of Gossip Girl 3.03, "The Lost Boy."

Dan and Georgina:
Agree to have "no strings attached." But she has her creepy eye on, and his face on her desktop wallpaper. "No strings," my ass.

Nate and Bree:
Agree to make their public debut at the auction in an outrageous attempt to get her family to zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Serena and Carter:
Serena consoles Dan on his dating barrel-scraping, since she is dating Carter. They can be desparate together! Except that Carter seems like a quality gent now: he shows up to offer Serena a weekend of sex and room service holed up at a hotel. Serena is much pleased, until a young, blonde struggling actress (not the character, this actress is struggling) walks up and accuses Carter of loving and leaving her a month ago. She slaps Carter (and our eyes with her terrible attempt at seeming like a real person with real anger) and stomps off. Serena pouts and bails before she can invite Carter to the auction.

After meeting Blair in the park, who scolds Serena about dating down, S calls and invites Carter to the auction. She meets him at his hotel, where she finds him arguing with the concierge about room service charges Carter claims he didn't accrue. She accuses him of lying about being back into his old ways, and he accuses her of not trusting him. They look confusedly into each others' eyes, their cumulative IQ just not high enough to figure out what is going on here, and then both sulk off.

Blair and Chuck:
Blair receives an invitation from a secret, elite society called "La Table Elitaire," who send her initiation rites via text instructing her to supplement their art collection with a specific photograph on auction tonight at Sotheby's. Okay.

But oh no! It's the exact same photograph that Chuck needs to buy to impress the restauranteur he wants to impress so he can fund his speakeasy. How does he know? Because the guy's prissy secretary hinted at a suspiciously wide-open and bookmarked Sotheby's catalog on her office sidetable. Huh.

Blair and Chuck discover they both want the same photograph, and vow not to let the other have it. The vision of healthy communication, this couple. Chuck comes to Blair's room with champagne and a plan for neither of them to attend the auction, but Blair discovers he is just trying to lull her with booze, so she escapes for the auction... with his shoes.

Vanessa and Scott:
Vanessa inadvertently discovered that Scott is lying about his class schedule (because he doesn't have one, and didn't bother to look up the right times for those classes he's pretending to take)--which leads her to the Registrars office, where a fellow spurned girlfriend behind the desk reveals that Scott Adler is not an NYU student. GASP! (Not.)

Meanwhile, Scott is taking guitar lessons from Rufus, his idol, his mentor, his bio-dad. Scott's about to pop the papa news when Rufus, ever the false idol and across-the-board effing terrible dad, cuts the kid off, and warns him not to hurt Vanessa. Rufus then gets distracted thinking about Lily and a painting she has going up for auction at Sotheby's tonight. (Oh yeah, there's a Sotheby's auction tonight, and everyone's going to be there.) Scott escapes, secret untold.

Vanessa confronts Scott about his lies, and he tells her his real identity, and how he thought Rufus and Lily wanted nothing to do with him. She tells him that his adoptive parents told Rufus and Lily he was dead, and they did want to find him. He asks her not to tell anyone, so she immediately turns around and tells Dan that Scott is lying, but she doesn't say about what. Dan and Georgina use Google to discover Scott's real name. Dan recognizes the name from his New Yorker fan letter, and deduces that Scott is his gay stalker. Scott comes to Vanessa and tells her that he fought with his adoptive parents, and he stayed because of her support. Vanessa offers to help Scott tell Rufus who he is at the Sotheby's auction, while Dan and Georgina decide to out Scott as the gay stalker that he isn't... also at the auction.

Sotheby's! Sotheby's! Sotheby's! (Just a bit more free advertising, for good measure.)

Scott has the chance to tell Rufus who he is, but before he can, he runs into his adoptive mother, who apologizes for lying to him and showed up to support him. Georgina and Dan tell Rufus that Scott is Dan's stalker, but then Scott reveals that he is in fact... Rufus's son's... brother? He says he just wanted to meet Andrew's father, and they hug. Scott chickened out, and Vanessa is sad-face about it.

Chuck and Blair engage in a bidding war for the photo while she tries to distract him with some over the pants rubbing. They end up bickering and lose the auction to Serena. She bought the painting to punish them for setting up Carter (hiring the blonde, buying the room service, putting out a warrant for his arrest... you know, the usual), and they admit that they did it to "protect her."

Serena gives the painting to Blair, who gives it to Chuck, saying she believes in him and is willing to give up La Table Elitaire to help him believe in himself.

Serena discovers that Blair's invitation to the elite club was actually written by Georgina, and there is no club. She threatens Georgina with her and B's cumulative rage, and tells her to leave.

In her third and final discovery of the evening, Serena finds out that Carter spent all year and all his money looking for her father all over Europe. And WE finally discover what "happened" in Santorini: Carter stole a boat to help Serena get to her father's latest wedding, but the police caught up to them before they got there. Ever since, Carter has vowed to make it up to her. And these are the Days of Their Lives.

Nate and Bree are there, kissing for the paparazzzzzzzzzz...

After the SOTHEBY's auction:
Rufus takes Vanessa, Dan, and Serena out to dinner, leaving Georgina out in the cold.

Scott tells Vanessa he is going home to Boston, and asks her not to tell his secret. She asks if he will come back and tell them the truth someday, but he makes no promises. Georgina overhears/lurks around the corner, finding out his secret. After Dan dumps her (because Serena told him about Georgina's elaborate plan to break up Blair and Chuck with an auction bidding war, which she orchestrated with the help of her old friend, that one guy's secretary, you know, the usual) Georgina buys a ticket to Boston, bent on some sort of destruction.

Carter comes to Serena, and they make up in the VDW-Humphrey household way: over Rufus's homemade crepes.

Chuck reveals that he bought the hotel he had been trying to lease the club in, and he's cashing out his Bass stock to do it. Because Blair believes in him. "Aww," but also, "Yikes!" Now that's pressure. He rents out the penthouse of his new hotel for some much needed love-making time for him and Blair.

Oh yeah. Almost forgot. Bree sees Carter on the street. She tells him that her family has been looking for his sorry ass, and her knowing his whereabouts will finally help her get back in with the Buckleys, and he better hide, because zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...


-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Image courtesy of the CW