Tonight's episode is all about Little Jenny's (Taylor Momsen) virginity. Under pressure from drug-dealing boyfriend Damien, the question throughout the episode was: will she or will she not give it up. Nugget of wisdom from Serena (Blake Lively): you only lose your virginity once. Well duh, S.Don't forget to catch: 'Gossip Girl' News: Chace, Leighton, Sebastian and ... Lady Gaga?Little J's Big V
And so we begin with Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle) calling people about her hookie-playing daughter and interrupting them in the middle of sex/making out. What didn't need interrupting, ironically, was her own daughter, who disentangled from Damien just when he was reaching under her kilt.
The gentleman that he was, Damien was all, "OK no rush, nice and slow ... How about tonight?" Way smooth, Damien. Just when you thought Little J would give him a piece of her mind, she replied, "Perfect!"
But because Damien tried to kiss her in the ball last week (to get the pills jacket off her, that is), Serena hatched a plan to show Jenny Damien's evil ways. The plan: Nate (Chace Crawford) takes Jenny to lunch, Damien comes over and hopefully kisses Serena. Jenny walks in on them. Of course it would go horribly wrong. As Nate eloquently put it, sounded like "a Blair Waldorf nut-job plan."
True enough, when she and her cleavage lounged for Damien, he rebuffed her and reminded her that he's dating Jenny. When it became clear to Little J that everyone was trying to keep them away from each other, she flew off with him from the Bart Bass dinner to the hotel. Now she's even more determined to give
it to Damien, with all the pent-up rebellious energy/hormones.
Yet just when you thought Jenny's "surgical field" would be explored (thank you, Grey's Anatomy
), she told Damien she wasn't ready. Blue-balled and very sexually frustrated at this point, he reacted as expected, telling Jenny "You're just a kid." Ouch. When she got home, however, she still found pleasure in telling Serena otherwise.Just when you thought you knew Chuck's mother
Meanwhile, Chuck (Ed Westwick) was having Bass Empire problems, after a slew of sexual harassment cases surfaced out of nowhere. He and Elizabeth were having a tender mother-son moment - "I want to be much a part of your life as you'll let me" - when a phalanx of photographers and reporters accosted them and started heckling about the suits.
Which brings us to Jack Bass. Chuck was spot on in pointing out the curious timing of the law suits. To return the favor, Jack was kind enough to point out Chuck's mommy issues. Oh snap. He added that as a matter of fact she saw the body of Chuck's mom in the casket.
Now over at the dinner honoring Bart Bass, the guests were less than discreet with the whispers and the gossiping. And with the business spiraling down mainly thanks to the Christian conservatives - yes, Manhattan has those, Chuck - he was advised to lie low for a while, go behind the scenes and let a figurehead take over. Thankfully, the DNA test confirmed that Elizabeth/Evelyn was indeed Chuck's mom. Uncharacteristically overflowing with love and trust, he signed some documents, effectively handing over the hotel to her.
And then the final scene/oh no moment: Jack Bass coming over and asking Elizabeth, "Do we have ourselves a hotel?" and Elizabeth replying, "We do."
(Image courtesy of the CW)