Tonight on Gossip Girl
, we open on Blair and Nate walking around in the Village, talking about Blair's mixed feelings about attending NYU. She's worried about ironic facial hair, mole men, middle-class professionals, and patchouli, which are the four majors available at NYU, so she's in trouble. Nate wants to show her around to all the great Village pizza places and pot dealers, and then proposes they try out the subway, which will be the quickest way for them to see each other next year, but she resists.
Rufus, Jenny and Dan are shopping around for a trunk for Dan to take to Yale. Rufus tells the kids that selling the gallery will give him enough money to pay for college for Dan and Jenny and get some "breathing room" to figure out what to do next. Rufus spots an antique ring in a case, and Dan notices, but he says he is "just looking." Rufus answers his phone and walks away, and Dan shows Jenny the ring. (As if Lily would wear an old dusty bauble from a Brooklyn antique shop.)
Blair goes to Serena and they lightheartedly talk about Chuck vs. Nate ("It's not a real relationship if you can't hold hands," Blair says.) and then the convo moves to Gabriel. Serena complains that Gabriel never has time for her because of his new company, then she admits that they kinda sorta got married in Spain. Blair says his disappearing act sounds fishy, and proposes they spy on him, code names and all. But since Serena
trusts Gabriel, she refuses.
Nate and Chuck are playing basketball, so naturally Chuck is wearing a full velour tracksuit over a polo and ascot. Nate says he feels weird talking to Chuck about Blair, but Chuck insists that they're friends and Nate has no reason to worry about him getting in the way of his relationship. Nate admits he is worried about being all the way across the city from Blair next year. The distance between Columbia and NYU basically makes them a long-distance couple. What to do? Nothing a little trust fund can't fix...
Rufus and Lily sit down with Serena and Gabriel to get to know Serena's new toy. He spins a tale about his family's tradition in the tobacco industry, which he broke out from to start a company installing new technologies in the developing world. Lily mentions that she is hosting a co-op meeting tomorrow, and invites Gabriel. Rufus asks if they want to watch a movie, and Gabriel says he needs to peace out. Serena pouts about how he never has time for her, and he promises the contracts for his new business will be done in a week, and then he'll have time for her. He leaves just as S gets a text from B asking if he has bailed on her yet. Turns out Blair is waiting outside, wearing her spy beret. Chuck pulls up and recognizes the beret. He wants in on the intrigue, and jabs at Blair for seeking her thrills outside of Nate's arms. They stand behind a car and catch Gabriel enthusiastically greeting Poppy directly outside of Serena's house. World's smartest scheming couple, these two.
The next morning (because you always wait a day before telling your best friend her boyfriend is cheating on her) Blair calls S and tells her to dump Gabriel because he's two-timing her, and S says she will find out what's up on her own, and doesn't need B to spy on her. She tells Blair she should go stick her nose in her own business with Nate. Just then, Gabriel comes into Serena's place and says there is something she should know...
And he tells her that he's pretending to be with Poppy again because she is the one who hooked him up with all his investors (let's not even bother getting into the non-logic of that), and if she finds out about his relationship with Serena, she will pull all her investors out, and his new company will be toast. This is like Business 101, kids. You don't even need to go to college, because this is clearly how all high-powered business deals function. (Okay, so I couldn't resist. This is all ridiculous.) Serena agrees to letting Gabriel play both sides for a week, until his contracts with the investors are secure, as long as there's nothing physical between him and Poppy. Gabriel says S has nothing to worry about, because, 'I only have eyes for one girl, and she is the most exquisite thing I have ever seen." He's clearly talking about Poppy.(1) (2) (3) NEXT>>