'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: Socialite Redeemed, Mother Exiled!
'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: Socialite Redeemed, Mother Exiled!
Matthew Mendoza
Matthew Mendoza
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
"The Townie" tied up many loose ends, while simultaneously ripping open fresh wounds for our darling Upper East Siders. It was definitely a worthwhile episode, for the hardcore fans especially.


There were numerous throwbacks to previous GG moments, including Aunt Carol in Miami, Eric's infamous Marlins jersey and the Mean Girls. Not to mention actual flashbacks. Let's get this recap started by taking a step back in time first ...

I Was A High School Psychopath


Thanks to sepia flashbacks circa 2006, we now know all the naughtiness Serena got up to in boarding school! It turns out, most of her time trying to 'become a better person' was spent wearing too much plaid, seducing a nerdy Damien Dalgaard into doing her Spanish coursework and having seizures (which she calls dancing) while drunk on absinthe. Oh, and also crushing on Professor Ben Donovan (Juliet's less-psycho-than-anticipated older brother). He was a perfect gentlemen, however, and kindly rejected all of her advances.


I'm Not OK (I Promise)


Meanwhile, in normal color and present day, Blair and Dan now know the whole truth regarding the night of Saints & Sinners. They can't enlist Serena for help in proving her innocence, however, because Eric and the Ostroff Center insist on keeping Serena locked away so she can tell her judgmental therapist the boarding school tale. Even though that tale actually has nothing to do with her alleged suicide attempt.


The Road Is My Middle Name


This means Dan and Blair must go off on a road trip of bickering, bantering and slow driving! Gossip Girl gives them Juliet's location, which happens to be Cornwall, Connecticut. Although they don't find Juliet, Dan and Blair do bump into Damien at a party full of body shots and beer pong. Clearly he hasn't changed. He admits to selling a truckload of drugs to Juliet prior to Serena's overdose and joins the unlikely pair in their Mystery Machine while they track down Juliet's mother and find out about Ben's supposed affair with Serena.


Don't Blame Me


Juliet spots the trio before they can spot her, and she drives back to the city to sit in the dark and wait for Serena to return so she can flick on the lamp ominously. When she does, she really lays into Serena about how she ruined her brother's life. Serena then asks who her brother is, because she's ruined the lives of so many brothers in the past. When she finally hears the whole story, she barges into Lily's party and denounces her mother in front of everyone.


Don't Cry For Me


In a less public setting, Serena admits the truth to the gang and tells them about Ben's prison sentence -- all thanks to a little forgery on Lily's part, which Serena didn't know about until now. Lily admits to "accidentally" accusing Ben of statutory rape all those years ago, but only so that Serena could gain sympathy and return to Constance. Serena maintains that her mom is, in fact, a lying bitch and stomps off. But wait! Chuck's upset with Lily too, because apparently she was going to sell Bass Industries without telling him! And Rufus sold out Lily by revealing that secret! This is the point in the episode where everyone turns on a certain character, literally and figuratively, and slowly walks away.


Holidays in the Sun


The Non-Judging Breakfast Club have their own Thanksgiving (with Dan loitering in the background) and take this time to tell each other where they're spending their vacations (as if they worked so hard at all the universities they don't attend). Nate's father, now out of jail and officially separated, will move in with Nate at the Empire. Serena will "somehow" get Ben out of jail. Chuck will be "vacationing" in New Zealand, although Blair recognizes this as a team-up with Uncle Jack to eventually take down The Greater Enemy, Lily. That leaves Dan and Blair, who suspiciously -- and, I admit, adorably -- bond over dish soap and a French artist of some sort. Finally, a tearful Serena goes to reunite with Ben at the prison ...


Thoughts on tonight's possible new pairings? Love them or hate them? >>


(Image courtesy of the CW)