'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: Blair Waldorf Fired, Bass Industries Saved?
'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: Blair Waldorf Fired, Bass Industries Saved?
Matthew Mendoza
Matthew Mendoza
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Poor Eric can never catch a break -- even on his 18th birthday, the Upper East Siders are too busy with sabotage and seduction to pay him much attention.

In "While You Weren't Sleeping," Damien discovers a way to get everyone to be his drug mule, Blair prefers Red Bull to sleep on her quest to becoming a powerful woman, and Lily and Chuck band together to take down Russell Thorpe. Let's survey the damage.

Send In the Clowns

Eric might be a sanctioned adult now, but the threat of Lily going to jail hangs like a cloud over his birthday party. When Damien orders Eric to pick up a truckload of cocaine tulips (you know, just the usual Monday night) and Eric can't meet his demands, he has to pay quite the pretty penny to keep Damien quiet. When Dan asks if anyone has $100,000 just laying around, Serena shrugs nonchalantly as if he just referred to a pack of gum. Serena chooses her family over her love interest, for once, when she becomes fed up with Ben's iciness towards Lily. Ben gets back in her good graces by threatening to have Damien killed if he ever publicizes the dirt he has on Lily. Problem solved! Serena thanks him for getting rid of that hindrance the only way she knows how -- by sexing him up!

You Kept Me Awake Last Night

Remember that stint when Serena was dying to be taken seriously, so she wore her hair in a braid all the time? Well Blair's going through the same phase, only instead of a braid, it's blazers with shoulder pads. Putting a fast track on her agenda in an attempt to impress Chuck, Blair discontinues bed time in favor of work. Things go horribly awry, however, because as it turns out, sleep is kind of important. Even as she delegates work to Dorota and her minions and gulps coffee like it's oxygen, Blair still ends up failing her test, neglecting her article, getting fired from W, and perhaps worst of all, wearing two different shoes. Dan writes Blair's article for her in an attempt to salvage her position, but in the end the workload just proves too much for a full-time student and sometimes-socialite.

All I Do Is Win

Lily and Chuck set their devious little scheme in motion by having an argument right in front of Russell Thorpe. The argument is a fluke, of course, even though the slap was quite convincing. Russell, thinking he can tug on Lily's heartstrings now that she and Chuck "despise each other," attempts to seduce her. Really, though, it's the other way around. It's all very delicious, and in the end it works -- Lily distracts Russell long enough for Chuck to sneak into Russell's office and discover who's financing the takeover of Bass Industries. Chuck persuades the financial backer into joining Team Bass, which has bow ties and chandelier earrings in abundance.

And Justice for All

Closing developments include Damien turning to Russell for money in exchange for the incriminating information on Lily, as well as Vanessa returning to town -- only to beg Dan's forgiveness and then storm off while calling herself an outsider. (Meanwhile, a clique of Mean Girls stare her down snobbishly.) Serena and Ben finally sleep together, and Dan and Blair do the same ... except with clothes on. Oh, and Raina and Nate fall for each other, in case you didn't already figure that out based on their mutual love for marijuana and sharing their life stories with anyone that will listen.

What should Gossip Girl do spice things up?

(Image courtesy of the CW)