Spotted last week on Gossip Girl
: Dan (Penn Badgely) frets about incest, leaving Serena (Blake Lively
) in the dark; Blair (Leighton Meester
) pulls Chuck (Ed Westwick
) off the ledge (literally and figuratively) after Bart's death; Rufus (Matthew Settle
) and Lily (Kelly Rutherford
) go to Boston to find the son Rufus never knew he had; and Little J (Taylor Momsen
) shows she's not so little anymore when she gives the Girls of the Steps a taste of their own malicious medicine.
This week, Gossip Girl
begins with Chuck as GG reminds us that for some Upper East Siders, death has a silver lining… or a gold one, in this case. Chuck is poised to be Bass the Billionaire before he hits 18. Jack and Blair are making their way to the reading of Bart's will when they run into each other outside—Chuck asked Blair to come “for support.” (Aww…
) A not-so-cryptic conversation between Blair and Jack reveals, once again, that something lecherous happened between them on New Year's. Jack toys with her, asking her out, threatening to tell Chuck, and being generally creepy. Blair maintains her cool and says that “it” meant nothing. Chuck and Nate (who's also there for support) break up their argument, and Jack says how excited he is to soon be running Bass Industries. All four go inside to hear Bart's last wishes.
Meanwhile, out in Brooklyn, Jenny talks at Dan about how she thinks Rufus and Lily are on a romantic getaway (to Boston?), and maybe even in love. Dan says he knows otherwise, but Jenny shrugs him off.
The reading of the will commences. Chuck, Uncle Jack, and Lily's lawyer await the results. First, we find out that Jack is now Chuck's legal guardian. Chuck's fine with this, as long as there's no curfew and Jack lets girls sleep over. Second, we find out that Chuck will have access to his ridiculously large inheritance when he hits 18. Third, 49% of the company belongs partly to Lily, and partly to the board—leaving 51% for the new head of the company. Bart's lawyer hands a letter to Chuck. Chuck refuses to read it and walks out, but not before Blair can snatch it out of Jack's hand and read to young Bass that he's the new CEO of Bass Industries. Chuck was expecting insults from beyond the grave—but instead got something far worse: a burden. Chuck scoffs and offers the job to Jack, who all too happily accepts.
Eric and Serena walk to school and talk about their boy problems. Eric complains about Jenny's third-wheeldom when he wants alone-time with Jonathan. Serena thinks Dan is avoiding her because he is being paranoid about Rufus and Lily being back together. Eric walks up on Jenny and Jonathan making gag-me movie marathon plans, and Jenny invites Eric as an afterthought. As Jenny giggles and squeals that Eric and Jonathan have the same backpack, Eric looks ready to use his as a smothering device.
Serena catches up to Dan in the courtyard, and tells Dan she knows he is avoiding her because he believes Rufus and Lily are back together. But of course we all know it's because he's busy drawing their family tree and debating whether he can justify some branch-to-branch contact. While acting weird, he denies acting weird. Serena reminds us that Lily has hooked up with every rich dude in Western civilization, including Nicolas Sarkozy. Dan unconvincingly promises that things are good between them, they share an asexual peck.
Dan calls Rufus, who tells him that Lily will tell Serena and Eric about their half-brother when they return from Boston. Penelope, Isabel, and Nelly overhear Dan telling Rufus that he doesn't like lying to Serena--but not about what. Penelope says they need to tell Serena; Nelly says they don't know enough and at the very most should tell Blair. P reminds Nelly that she's on probation, and says they're on their own since Blair is always with Chuck. She gets out her phone. Uh-oh.
Blair catches Chuck on his way out the door and convinces him to consider running Bass Industries. Bart believed, and Blair believes, that he is up to the challenge. Start by reading the rest of letter, she tells him.
Meanwhile at Constance, all the buzzing and beeping can mean only one thing: there's a rumor on Gossip Girl that Dan is cheating on Serena. GG name-drops Georgina Sparks, and asks for help tracking down the juicy details.
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