Previously on Gossip Girl
, Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively
) suddenly came home from boarding school, Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley
) asked Serena out, Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester
) and Serena fought and then made up, Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen
) aspired to climb social ladders, Dan confided in Blair about his mother Allison, Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle
) sold Lily van der Woodsen (Kelly Rutherford
) one of Allison's paintings.
Tonight, on Gossip Girl
, it's all about Blair's annual sleepover. A tradition since 2000, each sleepover, or soirée as Blair likes to call them, is more decadent than the rest. It's kind of like a girl version of Chuck Bass's (Ed Westwick
) Lost Weekend party, only a lot more fabulous.
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Tonight is also all about Serena's first real date with Dan. Dan is nervous about what Serena is looking for. He knows that Serena is accustomed to opulence, so he raids his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
piggy bank for funds.
Rufus has not canceled the sale of his sort-of-wife Allison's painting to Lily. He hasn't told Allison about it or deposited the check either because he's sure that Allison wouldn't want Lily to own anything of hers. Meanwhile, Lily changes her mind at the last minute about allowing Eric (Connor Paolo) to come home for the weekend from rehab.
Serena can't go to Blair's sleepover because her date with Dan is uncancelable. This momentarily annoys Blair. She tells her multicultural posse Isabel (Nicole Fiscella) and Katy (Nan Zhang) to check who's next on the waiting list when she gets the brilliant idea to invite Jenny instead. All of Blair's ladies in waiting think it will be great fun to corrupt an innocent, and take bets on how long Jenny will last at the party. Meanwhile, I covet Blair's entire ensemble. I know that in the Gossip Girl
books, Serena is supposed to be the ethereally beautiful one, but I just can't stop admiring Leighton Meester. Not that Ms. Lively isn't pretty, but I'm on the Blair love-train.
But first, the date. Dan comes to pick Serena up, but Serena's dressed casually and Dan isn't, so she goes to change. Naturally, she leaves the door to her bedroom ajar while getting undressed, giving Dan a peek, the perv. She emerges wearing a short dress that looks like it met the wrong end of a Bedazzler™, and after switching her leather hobo for an appropriately bedazzled evening clutch at Lily's request—and leaving her cell phone at home in the process—Serena and Dan head out. The date doesn't go well at first because Dan brings her via hired car service to a fancy French restaurant that he can't afford and that bores Serena out of her mind. She convinces him that this isn't the kind of date she wanted, so he loosens his tie and takes her to a seedy dive bar downtown.
At the sleepover, Jenny arrives with a Hello Kitty sleeping bag and bunny slippers, but it's not that kind of sleepover. The girls play dress up with fabulous Eleanor Original designs and drink gin martinis. Wait a second. I don't care how sophisticated these Upper East Side girls are supposed to be. High school girls would not drink gin martinis. They would be drinking cosmos or Midori sours. I know this to be true. Blair tells Jenny that she either has to swallow her martini or swipe her Metrocard back home because that's the way they do it in the U.E.S, bitch. I love Blair. The drinking leads to a game of that sleepover classic, Truth or Dare, but it's not what Jenny was expecting. Isabel and Katy have to make out on their first dare. On Jenny's turn, Blair dares her to jailbreak Eric out of the Ostroff Center. Blair messes her hair and lipstick, pretending to be on drugs to keep the nurse occupied, while Jenny sneaks into the room to get Eric out. Then they all go to a club.
At home in Williamsburg, Rufus calls his wife. A male answers the phone, and when he asks for Allison Humphrey, he hangs up on her. Lily gets a call from the rehab center that Eric is missing and left with a pretty blond girl. Immediately suspecting Serena, who is supposed to be with Dan, she calls Rufus up to get Dan's cell phone number. Rufus calls Dan, interrupting what would have been his first kiss with Serena, to tell them that Eric is missing. But Lily is too impatient and hoofs it out to Brooklyn to talk to Rufus face to face. She tells him that she tried to find Dan's cell number herself to no avail because “either ‘Dan Humphrey' is an alias, or your son is very unpopular.” Rufus tells her that Serena went to go find Eric and will call. He invites her to stay and wait, which she agrees to only in exchange for some home cooking. How I wish that were a euphemism! Alas, all they do is cook pasta and bicker about Lily's control issues. She finally confesses that Eric is living at the Ostroff Center because of depression and an attempted suicide. We also find out that Lily gave up photography in favor of the more fulfilling career of social climbing. The phone rings, and Lily picks up, but of course, it's Allison, who hangs up as soon as she finds out that it's Lily who answered.
At the club, Jenny dares Blair to make out with a random sleazeball. She does so with panache, stealing his cell phone in the process. Blair dares Jenny to call Sleazeball's girlfriend and tell her about the kiss. Jenny obliges, and with a perfect impression of Blair, perkily tells the girlfriend that she had her tongue down her boyfriend's throat.
Serena and Dan come to the club looking for Eric just in time to find the cheated upon girlfriend almost get into a fight with Blair. Jenny jumps in, saying she was the one who called her. Sleazeball says Jenny's hot, and Dan counters that Jenny's 14. Dan and Sleazeball engage in mild fisticuffs, and they all get thrown out of the club.
Serena bitches Blair out for kidnapping Eric, but Eric comes to her defense because he had a good time. Dan bitches Jenny out for pretending to be Blair. If she were really trying to pretend to be Blair, though, she would tone down her big hair and makeup a bit. I'm just saying, girlfriend wouldn't look out of place working a pre-Giuliani street corner, that's all. She assures her brother that she's not going to forget who she is just because she's hanging out with Queen B, and leaves to go back to the sleepover. Dan and Serena take Eric back to the rehab center.
The dares are not over for the night, however. Blair dares Jenny to steal a jacket from the window display of Eleanor Waldorf's boutique. She gives Little J a set of keys to the store, but not the combination to the alarm system. Once Jenny's inside, the alarm goes off and the door locks, but all the girls ditch her to go back to the sleepover, thinking that Jenny won't make it out of this one. They are wrong, however. Jenny, impersonating Blair again, explains to the cops that she just wanted to get a jacket from her mother's store, and she has the keys to prove it. Jenny returns to Chez Blair, wearing the jacket she stole, to find everyone asleep. Blair wakes up and offers her the trundle bed next to hers, but Jenny says that she's going home, even though Blair informs her that nobody leaves a sleepover. Jenny says that she's going to keep the jacket too. Then she says that they'll have lunch on the steps on Monday. Blair is impressed with little Blair 2.0.
Serena and Dan end their night with a huge, public kiss in the middle of the street. Lily goes to see Eric and tells him that he can come home.
-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of The CW)