Tonight's Gossip Girl was all about making important, life-altering decisions - for better or worse. Serena chose to return to the old school, party girl ways that destroyed her friendships in the first place, probably because they were all already destroyed. Lily chose to stop working on her marriage with the love of her life and instead returned to the man who's been missing for three years. Dan grew tired of always being just outside of his Insider status and decided to take the UES down for good. Blair, meanwhile, chose to stop being afraid of losing everything in order to finally have it all with Chuck - but his choice remains in the balance. "The Return of the Ring" had more callbacks to the pilot than the 100th episode and provided some hope that the final season of GG might be as good as its first. Here are the best quotes from the season 5 finale:
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Chuck Bass: "This place could use a woman's touch."
Bart Bass: "Couldn't we all?"
- Considering I can't imagine Bart even making more than a single facial expression, him cracking a sex joke is both awkward and hilarious.
Blair Waldorf (to Dorota): "Do you want to steam laundry in Siberia? Mobilize the troops!"
- It's not a real Gossip Girl episode until Blair threatens her maid with deportation - ironic, considering Dorota is actually a countess.
Jessica (about Blair's diary): "She says my hair is as big as Jessica Simpson's."
Kati: "It says head."
- Aww, minions burning each other!
Lily van der Woodsen: "Charles is family. And even with you back, he's mine, too."
- The Lily and Charles relationship is the most consistent and purest relationship in all five seasons.
Serena van der Woodsen (to Blair): "You can't hold me responsible for everything bad in your life."
- Serena finally saying at loud what I've been shouting at my TV screen for the last 10 episodes.
Eleanor Waldorf: "I can't believe how much more grown up you are at your age than I was. I suppose it's the divorce... And all the other mistakes you've already made."
- Eleanor Waldorf, you goddess! Welcome back.
Dan Humphrey: "I thought she changed."
Serena: "She's never going to change. Don't you see, Dan? The Blair that you're in love with isn't the real Blair. It's the one that you created in your book. And she's always loved Chuck."
- Serena van der Woodsen, detonating truth bombs left and right. What is even happening?
Lily: "But you're wrong. He signed the papers. It'll be my choice who I stay married to, not yours."
- Leaving aside the fact that Bart should probably be in jail for fraud, and that he's given Lily no reason to trust him, it was awesome seeing Lily finally exert her power and stop simpering to please those around her.
Bart (to Chuck): "The most you have done is use my money to redecorate. Bass Industries needs to be run by a man, not a boy. You never grow up. Maybe you can start now."
- Maybe your son "never grew up" because you made him believe he was at fault for his mother's death - when it turned out she never really died. And then you made him think you were dead, too. Oh, Bart. Why doesn't someone sell you for a hotel?
Blair (to Chuck): "You said I always bet against you, but this time, I'm all in."
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(Image courtesy of The CW)