This week's Gossip Girl was all about self-awareness and discovery. Dan's storyline - short as it was - gave us the episode title when he learned his book wouldn't be the hit novel or movie everyone was expecting. Nate became aware of just how often women treat him as a prize but turned the situation around to his advantage. The real meat of the episode, however, focused on the steps Chuck took to become a man so that he would never again lose a girl like Blair.
"I Am Number Nine" was full of truths finally spoken - or, in Diana's case, locked away forever in the slowest-moving plot of all time - and tonight's best quotes helped us uncover more about these characters than we'd ever thought possible.
Dan Humphrey: "Number 9. Inside by Daniel Humphrey. What did Lincoln Hawke's first single debut at?"
Rufus Humphrey: "8. But don't pay too much attention to that stuff. That was the 90s."
- Rufus finally one-upping his son, for once! You're making big strides, Mr. Humphrey!
Dr. Eliza Barnes: "What do you think the dream is about?"
Chuck Bass: "My father's tragic death, my mother's secret life, or perhaps my chronic oral fixation?"
- Poor Chuck. He's joking, but he has enough issues for a lifetime of therapy.
Blair Waldorf (to her bridesmaid minions): "Legally, I must warn you, not everyone will survive the tryouts. So I've drafted a waiver for you to sign in the event of a catastrophe."
- Is that a glimmer of the Blair of high school days gone by? We wonder how much crazier this wedding will get.
Serena van der Woodsen: "So, Mr. Screenwriter, are you ready for your first ever development meeting?"
Dan: "I think so. As long as you guys don't want to change the ending, or the beginning, or all the stuff in the middle."
- Dan has so much to understand about both the movie industry and himself.
Assistant (to Nate, about Diana's relationship): "Hello! They've been going out for two months. I thought you worked in media?"
- Leave it to Nate to work on the cutting-edge of New Media and still not know how to check Twitter.
Jane (to Serena, about Dan): "We're gonna Zuckerberg him."
- Serena may have saved him from the fate of being Zuckerberged, but we have to wonder if Dan wouldn't have preferred being villainized so long as he was still famous.
Penelope (to Ivy): "Hello, Nate doesn't have a type. He's like Derek Jeter."
- Aww, Penelope thinking that and still never getting with Nate? Her self-esteem must be shot to hell.
Blair (to Louis): "Chuck destroys everything and everyone in his life, and he'll never change."
- While this may have been true a season or two ago, this line is particularly poignant today because of how much Chuck is changing.
Dan (to Serena): "Admit it. You hate your character in the book so much, you couldn't stand to see it being made into a movie. Millions of people would judge you, and we all know how much you like that."
- What's interesting here is that Dan thinks he's got Serena pegged, but forgets that he's the one who did all the judging that gave Serena a complex in the first place.
Chuck (to Blair): "I'm sorry for losing my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you. I'm sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building. I'm sorry for treating you like property. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did. Most of all, I'm sorry I gave up on us when you never did."
- That's how you give an apology, Bass. It may have taken you five seasons, but at least you're finally making progress.
Tatiana del Pilar
(Image courtesy of The CW)