This Week on 'Glee': Touched for the Very First Time
This Week on 'Glee': Touched for the Very First Time
I told you, this week's Glee will kick things up a notch. And it did. It was an epic tribute to Madonna--I heard they used 14 songs in this episode--and it was full of zingers (Sue: "Date a younger man"), some from the most unlikely of people. Oh, and there was a push in the storyline, too. It wasn't epic just because of the songs. It's also epic because of how they did it.

So what happened? A lot of Madonna loving, that's what. Sue takes a page from the "most powerful woman to ever walk the face of the earth" to inspire her Cheerios, featuring newcomers Kurt and Mercedes. Will takes that same page to New Directions, since the guys aren't treating the girls nicely. But the biggest storylines happened in bed. Emma wanted to "do the nasty" with Will but ran away when the time came. Rachel wanted to get it on with Jesse but backed out nicely. Finn took up on Santana's offer and... well, they did it. Oh, and Jesse joined New Directions. Nobody likes it.

This week's best: The whole episode, of course!


I'm not a Madonna fan, but I was singing along to almost all of the performances, tapping my feet like silly even if I've seen the episode twice before. And I don't know half the words to her songs! It's obvious the Glee cast had a lot of fun doing this episode, and it made tonight a big smile-like-silly hour--fun, fantastic, and ridiculous in the ways the show worshipped Madonna. Her songs on the PR system all day? The delicious hooks will really distract you! Kudos to everyone in the show for an hour of television that's happy without losing sight of the storyline. And no, Madonna isn't weeping.

This week's worst: Having to guess between Finn and Jesse


Now's the time to think twice about Jesse's intentions. Last week you all went, "he'll break Rachel's heart, right?" This week you probably went two ways: either "he'll still break Rachel's heart, right?" or "he really, really, really, really loves her!" To make things more complicated, Finn--he who wasn't sure last week--suddenly had an epiphany and realized, "I love Rachel!" (And maybe "I want to get in her pants too!" Sorry, Santana.) And to make things even more complicated, Rachel realized that both their feelings are genuine. So, yes, a high-stakes love triangle. Twilight without the vampires and werewolves. Which team are you on?

This week's best song: The cast's "Like A Virgin"

It's sexy, it's slightly disturbing, and it's got Santana singing. Sorry, Sue. Someone just kicked you out of your pedestal. Maybe when you sing "Let's Get Physical" with Olivia Newton-John in two weeks' time?

This week's quotables:


"Some role models children have nowadays. You've got Britney Spears and her shaved head. Lindsay Lohan looks like someone from The Lord of the Rings. Anne Coulter?"
--Emma, giving Fox News something to talk about

"Everything about you screams virgin. You're about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. It's exhausting to look at you."
--Santana, schooling Finn on what being sexy is

"Secondly, enough with the hair jokes. Oh, by the way, how's the Florence Henderson look working out for you? Maybe you should try a new setting on your Flowbee. Oh, snap!"
--Will, finally getting a one-up on Sue

"I was at the drugstore and they were having a sale on Dep. Dep is a hair gel. And once again, I'm making fun of your incredibly stupid hair-do."
--Sue, getting back at Will's one-up

"Uh, Mr. Shue, I think we need a new baritone. Finn wants to be Finnessa."
--Puck, refusing to be in the same league as "hall of fame MILF" Madonna


And, since Brittany's brimming with lines tonight, a couple from our favorite ditz:

"When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist."
--Brittany, making me wonder if her doctor actually pulled her hamstring

"Mr. Shue, is he your son?"
--Brittany, suggesting that Terri wasn't faking it and was actually pregnant with Jesse

My thought bubbles:

When will the Jesse-Finn sing-off take place?
Or, are you willing to watch Finn pee in his pants at Jesse's superior vocal ability? Kidding aside...

How will Jesse's entry change New Directions? I feel bad for Rachel. She just wants to be loved, and now, she gets that from one man... and vitriol from the rest of the club.

How will Sue use Kurt and Mercedes to take down glee club?
I highly doubt the two will let themselves be used like that, but if Santana admits to liking glee club and still does her bidding, well, nothing is impossible.

Who will win the Hair Wars? I bet Will, because his hair wasn't burned badly like Sue's was when she was a kid.

Finally, what is Brittany's last name?
Did she forget it along with her middle name? Let's hope she remembers in next week's episode, which is perhaps my favorite Glee episode ever. Three names: Burt Hummel, Carole Hudson and April Rhodes.

(Images courtesy of Fox)