The Glee quotables corner--it's safe because it's over the counter.  This week: swimming, baseball, and an unusually-cheesy-yet-absolutely-cute line from Ken.


Let's start things off with Sue's letter:

Dear Journal. Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster...

It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver! That quiver will lose us Nationals. And without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements. And without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.

Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth breathers, it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything, only to be Shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy misshapen teens.

Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course it's not me. It's Will Schuester. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday...

Of course, it's coming clear to me now. If I can't destroy the club, I'll have to destroy The Man!!!

- Sue Sylvester‬

Emma: "Uhm, I'm sorry, you've just, uh... you've got some mustard in your cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple."

Sue: "We're dealing with children. They need to be terrified. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow properly."

Will: "Hey, hope you guys are up for this competition. The girls look pretty pumped."
Artie: "We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God."

Sue: "Me? I never wanted kids. Don't have the time, don't have the uterus."

Terri: "Oh God, what am I gonna do?"
Sue: "I think you should both pack up and move out of the district, unless you wanna lose your man to a mentally-ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bush baby."

Finn: "But I can't get Rachel out of my head. She kinda freaks me out in a Swimfan kind of way, but she can really sing, and her body's smokin'--if you're not into boobs."

Finn: "My mom says I'm stretched too thin, so I gave up homework, but that didn't help."

Ken: "I can't promise to pick my underwear or squeegee the shower door, but I can promise to keep your life clean of sadness and loneliness and any other dark clouds that might float into it."

Rachel: "It's deplorable, contemptible, and just plain wrong, not to mention that it's cheating. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna start calling you F-Rod!"

Finn: "What's up, A-Rach?"

Rachel: "I'm sorry about what I said yesterday, about you being contemptible and deplorable."
Finn: "Nah, that's all right. I don't even know what those words meant."


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- Henrik Batallones, BuddyTV Staff Columnist