The Glee quotables page--proven to be more effective than plastic surgery in the war against aging. This week: stomach rolls, black eyes and perfectly-styled hair."Mattress" in one paragraph:
Will compromises to get the glee club in the McKinley High yearbook. Not content, Rachel decided to launch herself to stardom by getting everyone in a local ad--which almost disqualifies them, because Will opened a mattress and slept at school, because he (finally!) found out that Terri is faking her pregnancy all along."Mattress" in one word:
"This year, I got myself a bit of an eye lift. And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them."Kurt:
"Swirlies. Patriotic wedgies."Mercedes:
"What's a patriotic wedgie?"Finn:
"It's when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies."Artie:
"Strangely, it did make me feel more American."Principal Figgins:
"Now, I suggest you select the good-looking cheerleader--not the pregnant one--and the quarterback for the photo, as their faces are less likely to be scratched out with safety pins."Artie:
"I'd love to be in the photo, Rachel, but you'd be standing and I'd be sitting and it will ruin the whole composition."Rachel:
"I'll lean over!"Artie:
"But if you lean over, it'll look like you have stomach rolls!"Azimio:
"Hey, don't talk that koom-ba-ye-yah crap!"Rachel:
"I'm very versatile, and aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business."Randy:
"We here at Mattress Land believe that mattresses aren't just for sleeping and fornicating anymore."Terri:
"The pocket square's gonna make you look like Ted Knight."
"You wouldn't even know if your glee club was using your office to breed rabbits for Pets Are for Food!"Sue:
"And what if I were just to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. Probably get off with justifiable homicide!"Sue:
"There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment!"Sue:
"It's like looking at a porno star in a nun's habit."Sue:
"You know, Q? I've forgotten just how ruthless you really are. You're like a young Sue Sylvester. Now get out of my office, if you can manage to squeeze through the door without your water breaking all over my new carpet."
"He's taking the bullet for us. Solid.""Might as well... jump!" More music here!