This Week in 'Glee' Quotables: "Mattress"
This Week in 'Glee' Quotables: "Mattress"
The Glee quotables page--proven to be more effective than plastic surgery in the war against aging. This week: stomach rolls, black eyes and perfectly-styled hair.

"Mattress" in one paragraph: Will compromises to get the glee club in the McKinley High yearbook. Not content, Rachel decided to launch herself to stardom by getting everyone in a local ad--which almost disqualifies them, because Will opened a mattress and slept at school, because he (finally!) found out that Terri is faking her pregnancy all along.

"Mattress" in one word: Exhausting.


mattress-eyelift.jpgSue: "This year, I got myself a bit of an eye lift. And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them."

Kurt: "Swirlies. Patriotic wedgies."
Mercedes: "What's a patriotic wedgie?"
Finn: "It's when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies."
Artie: "Strangely, it did make me feel more American."

Principal Figgins: "Now, I suggest you select the good-looking cheerleader--not the pregnant one--and the quarterback for the photo, as their faces are less likely to be scratched out with safety pins."


mattress-captrach.jpg
Artie: "I'd love to be in the photo, Rachel, but you'd be standing and I'd be sitting and it will ruin the whole composition."
Rachel: "I'll lean over!"
Artie: "But if you lean over, it'll look like you have stomach rolls!"


mattress-markers.jpg
Azimio: "Hey, don't talk that koom-ba-ye-yah crap!"

Rachel: "I'm very versatile, and aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business."

Randy: "We here at Mattress Land believe that mattresses aren't just for sleeping and fornicating anymore."


mattress-confront.jpg
Terri: "The pocket square's gonna make you look like Ted Knight."

Sue:
"You wouldn't even know if your glee club was using your office to breed rabbits for Pets Are for Food!"


mattress-dq.jpg
Sue: "And what if I were just to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. Probably get off with justifiable homicide!"

Sue: "There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment!"

Sue: "It's like looking at a porno star in a nun's habit."

Sue: "You know, Q? I've forgotten just how ruthless you really are. You're like a young Sue Sylvester. Now get out of my office, if you can manage to squeeze through the door without your water breaking all over my new carpet."

Puck:
"He's taking the bullet for us. Solid."


"Might as well... jump!" More music here!





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