'Glee' Recap: The Girls Get Their Groove Back
'Glee' Recap: The Girls Get Their Groove Back
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
It's a new year on Glee, and the time off has been very kind. The first episode of 2013, "Sadie Hawkins," is actually very fun. It's lighthearted and energetic, and it moves several plots forward. No, I'm not joking, I actually liked watching the entire episode. Even the New York stuff didn't bug me. Neither did the illogical plot twist involving Sectionals or the potential for statutory rape.

Nope, instead, I just liked laughing at Tina's infatuation with a gay guy and Blaine's infatuation with a straight guy. And there were a lot of little moments involving Stoner Bret and Neck Brace Cheerio to make me smile. Please, Glee, keep making episodes like this one.


At a student council meeting (Continuity Alert: Blaine is doing something as president!), Tina proposes a Sadie Hawkins Dance because she's tired of being a bitter young lady always waiting for a guy to ask her. Finn uses this female empowerment motif as the week's theme and asks the ladies to sing to the guys they want to ask out.

Tina kicks it off with a great rendition of "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar, the ultimate ballad about impossible, unrequited love. And she sings it to Blaine. He's oblivious to the fact that she's been checking out his ass and lusting after him. In a cruel twist, she asks him out and he says "No" in front of everyone.

At first she thinks it's because, oh yeah, Blaine transferred to Dalton because he got bullied at a Sadie Hawkins Dance. But it turns out Blaine has an unrequited love of his own: Sam. Yes, just like Kurt, Blaine is warm for Sam's form. He loves his big lips and his hilarious impressions. It's sweet and totally believable since the two bros have been spending a lot of time together lately.

Instead, Blaine and Tina agree to go to the dance as friends bonding over their mutually impossible attractions. The only problem is, once they start dancing, Tina gets it in her head that maybe something might actually happen. I can't tell if this is all in her head or if Blaine is really sliding backwards on the Kinsey scale, but it doesn't matter because Sam interrupts and steals Blaine away.

Either way, Tina is super in love with Blaine now. Bunny-boiling in love. And even Becky is like, "Girl, he's gay." I don't know where it's going, but as long as Blaine doesn't actually sleep with her AND Tina continues to have a storyline, I'll go along with it.

Jarley and Pitty

Marley is still a shrinking violet so Brittany teams up with her for a little lesson in empowerment. Marley finally asks Jake to the dance and he agrees, but he also gets an offer from Kitty for a guaranteed night of sex.

Jake asks big brother Puck for some advice and, thankfully, Puck urges him to stick with Marley. Puck tries to get Kitty to back off, but she counters by suggesting that he could fill her needs instead of Jake. Sure, she's underage, but she has a fake ID, which is good enough for Puck. So he went from banging a teacher (who was also Rachel's bio-mom and the adoptive mother of his daughter) to possible statutory rape? Try not to think too hard about that last part, because Glee doesn't.

At the dance, Jake commits to being with Marley and taking things slowly while Kitty seems genuinely interested in Puck. She liked his screenplay about a pool boy at the White House who saves the president from an alien invasion of aquatic pythons and then they cut out early to commit statutory rape have sex.

The Other Couples

Aside from these major couples, Brittany obviously asks Sam and, in a weird ongoing joke, the Cheerio that's been in a neck brace in the background all season long develops a crush on Ryder. Good for Neck Brace Cheerio! Maybe one of these days she'll get to say something.

At the dance itself, Coach Beiste inspires the wallflowers to make their moves. Lauren Zizes (who is apparently still a student) asks out Joe to win the award for oddest couple. Sugar gets back with Artie, although I just assumed they were still together anyway. And, in my favorite little moment, Tina's freshman assistant Dottie chooses Stoner Bret. I really hope we get to see more of that couple.

Blam Takes Down the Warblers

Throughout the episode Sam is obsessed with trying to prove that the Warblers cheated at Sectionals by using steroids, which is, for some reason, against the rules. The hard work pays off when they find a former Warbler willing to be a whistleblower and admit that Hunter was injecting all of the guys with steroids to improve performance. So I guess New Directions is heading to Regionals.

I enjoyed this episode so much I'm willing to overlook the fact that, if the Warblers got DQed, it would actually mean that the Mennonites would go to Regionals since New Directions was DQed as well and the Warblers cheating doesn't un-disqualify them. But why let a little thing like logic ruin a good episode.

Kurt and Rachel Find Themselves at NYADA

Now that Kurt is at NYADA he's looking for where he fits in, especially since Rachel is busy spending all of her time with the perpetually shirtless Brody (who is hilariously auditioning for Magic Mike: The Musical). So Kurt decides to join the Adam's Apples, NYADA's show choir run by an aggressive British hipster senior named Adam.

Rachel doesn't think this is a good idea because NYADA show choir is the lowest rung of the social ladder. I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Rachel. Kurt watches the group do a folksy version of "Baby Got Back" (that may or may not, but definitely was, stolen from Jonathan Coulton) and it makes me violently ill. I hate this group of hipster d-bags. It's like Glee stormed the set of HBO's Girls and gathered up all the extras at a party scene and put them on stage. It's my own personal Hell. I'd rather watch another kiki with SJP.

Kurt develops a crush on Adam (probably because Adam is basically stalking him and Kurt loves the attention), so after a pep talk from Rachel, Kurt asks Adam out on a date and he says "Yes."

And in a final twist, Rachel asks Brody to move in with her. I would be surprised, but as Kurt pointed out earlier, this is a girl who almost got married in high school, so taking things slowly isn't high on her priority list.i know Finchel fans will object, but if it means more shirtless Brody scenes, I'm on board.

Next week on Glee: The men of McKinley strip for a calendar (and Sam's half-naked torso is sure to makes Blaine even more crazy). Rachel goes topless. And Brittany gets a nearly perfect SAT score. I'm guessing she had Lord Tubbington take it for her.

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(Image courtesy of FOX)