Last week Glee
was all about the guys' hot bodies. This week it's about the ladies'
hot vocal chords. It's Diva Week, which means Kurt and Rachel go to war
and Santana is back to remind everyone that Naya Rivera is the best
singer and actress on this whole damn show. There are also two very,
VERY bad romantic entanglements.
Kurt vs. Rachel
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In New York, Kurt is getting sick and tired of Rachel's attitude ever since she won the Winter Showcase. The fact that it's taken him THIS LONG to reach the breaking point with her attitude makes it clear he's the best friend she'll ever know.
During "truth time" Kurt reveals that he threw their first Diva-Off back in season 2 when he messed up "Defying Gravity" to spare his dad the embarrassment of a guy singing a girl's song. Rachel is shocked by this and soon the two prepare of Diva-Off 2.
This time it's at Midnight Madness, NYADA's semiannual blood sport where two singers enter and only one survives. It's not ACTUALLY a blood sport, although that would make it better. They duel on "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables
and they're both exquisite. But by the narrowest margin in NYADA history, Kurt is the winner.
Rachel sulks, but Kurt tries to cheer her up by saying that it doesn't matter and being a diva is just about being original, not about alienating your friends. There's also a throwaway line about how Kurt got "lucky" that a Les Mis
song was picked that kind of made me think it may have been rigged by Brody for some reason.Santana vs. Sam
Finn decides to pump up the attitude in New Directions with Diva Week. He even asks Santana to come back as a guest mentor, because Santana has nothing better to do than travel between New York and Lima. Santana comes on strong with a song about "Nutbush," the dirtiest sounding word ever. She also has her new girlfriend, a fellow cheerleader named Elaine. Although Santana is just paying her to try and make Brittany jealous.
Santana is really back to challenge Sam for Brittany's heart because she finally found out Bram is a thing courtesy of Tina. Why did Tina tell Santana about this and then complain about Santana showing up to steal her spotlight again? Anyway, Santana duets with Sam and tells him she's gonna win Brittany back.
Later Sue brilliantly mocks the fact that the graduated seniors must have transporters to keep going back and forth. She also lets us know that Santana dropped out of college a month ago and offers her a job as her assistant Cheerios coach.
Santana has a final heart-to-heart with Brittany where the dumb blonde once again proves how smart she is. Brittany says she's staying with Sam but Santana is still her best friend and Santana should go find herself and a real girlfriend. Cue a kick-ass rendition of "Girl on Fire" by Santana that ends with her in New York moving in with Kurt and Rachel, much to their surprise. It's silly, but I can't wait for Santana and Brody to interact. That could get interesting.Bad Romance, Part 1: Tina and Blaine
Blaine decides to prove men can be divas to with a little Queen. However, the performance isn't as impressive as his wardrobe, a bedazzled leather jacket that is, quite possibly, the single most laughably hideous thing I have ever seen. I don't approve of excessive force from law enforcement, but the fashion police should bust out their nightsticks and beat Blaine to within an inch of his life until he vows never to wear that outfit again.
Anyway, he's coming down with a serious cold so Stalker Tina gives him a bunch of medicine and chicken soup, then invites herself to his house under the guise of "helping her pick out a diva song." In reality she's still obsessed with him and confesses her love for him, only he's already passed out from the cold medicine.
Then Tina starts to unbutton Blaine's shirt while he's unconscious before mounting him and rubbing VapoRub on his chest seductively. YIKES! Seriously, this is the single creepiest thing this show has ever done (until later). She basically just drugged and molested a gay guy. And I'm going to try not to think about Blaine's later revelation that almost the entire tub of VapoRub is gone. How much time did she spend rubbing him?
The next day she's angry that Blaine passed out before hearing her confession and her rage leads to a great diva performance that wins her the Diva Week challenge. Afterwards Blaine apologizes to Tina (because he doesn't know about the rubbing) and says how much she means to him, inviting her to be his date to the big Wemma wedding. She blindly agrees. Oh girl, do you STILL think you have a chance with him? I feel like this storyline is gonna end with a special crossover on Law and Order: SVU
.Bad Romance, Part 2: Finn and Emma
Yup, this happened.
Emma spends the whole episode freaking out over plans for her big wedding to Will, but also encouraging Finn by saying that he's a good glee club leader, which is a lie because he lost Sectionals and only made it to Regionals on a technicality.
Finn proves to be good at wedding planning, but he's also heartbroken because he found out Rachel and Brody are now living together. Emma suggests he should move on and find a new girlfriend, maybe even the 26-year-old math sub.
Instead, when Emma is in the middle of a wedding freak-out, he kisses her. On the lips.
And just like that, Tina molesting Blaine in his sleep became the second creepiest moment of the episode. This can't possibly end well for anyone.
Next week on Glee
: It's the big Wemma wedding, which may or may not be ruined thanks to Finn (who is still Will's best man) kissing the bride.
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(Image courtesy of FOX)