'Big Brother 13' Recap: Rachel is a Crybaby in the Bushes
'Big Brother 13' Recap: Rachel is a Crybaby in the Bushes
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
This episode of Big Brother 13 is all about Rachel (surprise), but on the bright side, it's about how unbelievably stupid she is and how bad she is at playing this game. She can criticize Cassi for being a floater and playing the victim and having bad gameplay, but she's not the one crying in the bushes.

The real focal point is the Power of Veto competition, where Brendon and Rachel are chosen to play. Rachel wants Dominic off the block so Cassi can get backdoored, but she wants to win so she can make a deal with Dominic first. That's like wanting to have your cake and eat it too, which is ironic, because for the next two weeks, Rachel can't eat cake (or much of anything).

The Power of Veto Competition

The challenge is to chew gum while walking across a balance beam and sticking a whole bunch of pieces to a wall. If they fall off they're out, unless they volunteer to take two weeks of slop.

Jordan falls first and wants to take the slop, but Jeff yells at her not to do it, because she has no chance of winning and he doesn't want her to be cranky. Rachel is upset and makes catty comments about the HoH not being competitive, which upsets Jeff. Rachel then falls and instantly takes two weeks of slop. She then falls again, eliminating her from the game and still leaving her with two weeks of slop. Then Dominic wins!

Here's where my glee is at its highest point. Dominic is safe AND Rachel doesn't get to make a deal with him AND Rachel is on two weeks of slop. So even though she gets what she wants (Cassi nominated and going home), she also has to suffer for it.

After the PoV competition is when the real fun begins. Jeff yells at Rachel for her snarky comments about Jordan, and even Brendon is against her, agreeing that Rachel taking the slop was a dumb move, and that they shouldn't fight and get emotional. But Rachel is incapable of not being emotional, so she tries to make a big deal out of competing, and then she runs into the bushes to cry like a baby. It's not funny that she's crying, or that she runs into the bushes to do it, it's funny that she is the ONLY person who doesn't realize how ridiculous and stupid she's being. Rachel loves talking about how you can't play the game emotionally, but she does it more than anyone.

Rachel is wrong. She's 100 percent wrong. Jeff knows it, Brendon knows it, all the other HGs know it. There's no reason for this to be happening except for Rachel's own stupidity, and that's what makes it so damn funny. Equally funny is that Brendon is lying through his teeth when he tries to cheer Rachel up by siding with her, because he knows that she's wrong, but can't say it because they're engaged.

Brendon asks her to apologize and she mockingly says she will, but she doesn't mean it. Then she throws the world's smallest pity party about how America hates her, and if that's not playing the victim, I don't know what is. Rachel thinks that she should have complete control over every single person, decision and competition in the house, like a God Complex on steroids.

Jeff then chats with Jordan and makes the best argument ever. He can't stand Rachel because she's doing the exact same things she did last season and expecting different results, which he says is the definition of insanity. Amen, Jeff!

The Power of Veto Ceremony

After all that drama, the saddest part is that Jordan still feels compelled to stay with Rachel and Brendon and nominate Cassi and Shelly. Jordan doesn't want to send Cassi home, but she does because, at this point in the game, she has to stick with volatile, stupid Rachel. I'm sad that Cassi has to suffer, but at least America, and all of the HGs, got to see who Rachel really is: a big fat crybaby who pouts in the bushes whenever she doesn't get her way.

(Image courtesy of CBS)