'Big Brother 13' Recap: Hoff in the House
'Big Brother 13' Recap: Hoff in the House
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
So much has been going on inside the Big Brother 13 house this weekend that it's hard to get excited about this episode all about Rachel's HoH and special guest David Hasselhoff. The scheming and plotting has reached new levels, and Wednesday's episode is sure to be a hot one, but for now, it's still The Rachel Show.

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It's hard to give her a pass. Everyone in the house has mentioned how mean and arrogant Rachel is, and watching her have another week in power is like pouring gasoline on the fire. The only saving grace of the gloating is that when she comes out with her HoH key, all the other HGs hide and then attack Rachel with pillows. OK, that's petty funny.

The Campaign Against Floaters is a Lie

As usual, Brendon and Rachel constantly say that they want to get rid of the floaters, and even though they acknowledge that Kalia and Lawon are "super floaters," they still don't want to target them. This illustrates my problem with their game: they're trying to turn the entire house against floaters, but Brendon and Rachel never actually get floaters out of the game. They're only saying it so that, if someone else wins HoH, they can try to get that person to do the useless dirty work of evicting a floater. Rachel and Brendon know that it would be a waste of their HoH to get rid of Lawon, but if anyone else is in charge, Lawon would suddenly be the biggest threat in the house.

The Luxury Competition

A mystery man (who is the un-famous David Hasselhoff from the new CBS show Same Name) gives he HGs the rules that they will get clues and must guess an international celebrity. They don't learn the mystery man's name, because that would give it away.

The first clue is three bars of soap and a pair of opera glasses. Jordan, whose mind works like an M.C. Escher staircase, somehow gets "Bay" from the soap and "Watch" from the glasses and immediately guesses that it's the Hoff. Wow, scientists need to study her brain, because it's right, but we still get to go through the whole game before finding that out.

Brendon guesses Michael C. Hall, mostly because he wants to meet Dexter.

Adam guesses Ricky Martin because he thinks it's a soap star who's also a singer, which is actually a good guess.

Next, a knight holding a lifeguard's preserver walks through the house, which should give it away.

Jeff guesses Mike Knight (the Hoff's Knight Rider character), and then, for some reason, Christopher Walken.

Rachel guesses Keira Knightly, because she's an idiot, and Porsche guesses Brian McKnight.

Dominic guesses John Stamos and Markie Mark, for no reason.

Next they go outside for the big reveal as David Hasselhoff is sitting in KITT. Everyone freaks out, pretending like the Hoff is actually more important than he really is. Jordan wins and picks Jeff, Shelly and Kalia to watch he premiere of Same Name with her in the HoH room.

As expected, Rachel immediately starts crying and complaining about all the drama (of which there is none other than hers) and how mean it was for Jordan not to pick her because she's the HoH. It's ugly, petty, whiny B.S., and I have no time for it. If Rachel's goal was to change America's opinion of her this season, she's absolutely terrible at it.

The Nominations

Do you remember how last week Adam and Dominic were nominated and the original plan was to evict Dominic? Well, now they're up again and the "plan" is to get rid of Adam because Daniele has successfully wooed Dominic to be on their side.

Who Won the Power of Veto?>>

Or at least that's the plan as of the end of this episode. But throughout the weekend, that changed dramatically, because Daniele really stepped up her campaign to split up Brenchel from Jeff and Jordan, and even though this episode made it look likely, the plan backfired big time.
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(Image courtesy of CBS)