Previously on
Dirty Sexy Money: Jeremy got a job and had the hots for a sexy Latina, Reverend Brian bonded with his illegitimate son, Karen slept with her not quite ex-husband, then got a divorce, Tripp and Nick hatched a plan to get the truth about Nick's dad's plane crash, and billionaire Simon Elder is looking more evil every day.
Tonight's
Dirty Sexy Money is all about Karen's (
Natalie Zea) fourth wedding. She starts the episode making out with her fiance in bed on the morning of the wedding. Creepily, Reverend Brian (
Glenn Fitzgerald) is watching. He wants to talk about their vows, and Freddy has a cheesy idea about a golf theme, speaking of "holes in one." Karen goes to her mother Letitia (
Jill Clayburgh) and says she's having second thoughts.
Attorney General Patrick (William Baldwin) is giving a press conference about bringing indictments against two guys who are also Tripp's friends.Tripp (
Donald Sutherland) is furious. Patrick goes over strategy with Simon Elder (Blair Underwood). Tripp, meanwhile, takes up drinking because his tradition is to down an entire bottle of tequila on the day one of his children gets married. Nick (
Peter Krause) is tasked with managing the bidding war over photos of Karen's wedding. Meanwhile, Letitia tasks him with making sure Karen goes through with the wedding by saying he has no feelings for her.
Nick has to skip his wife's gallery event to go tell Karen to marry Freddy. She says her cold feet have nothing to do with her former feelings for Nick and everything to do with Freddy being an idiot. Then she requests that he not sell the wedding photos for less than $2 million. At the meeting, the press is laughing at his request because it's her fourth marriage to a second-rate golfer. The bidding gets lowered, and after some snarky comments by Nick's daughter, they settle for $300,000, but no topless honeymoon shots.
As Patrick preps for the wedding, his wife asks if he's having an affair with a man, woman, or anything in between. He denies it, poorly. How does he expect to make it in politics if he can't lie? Patrick goes and blames Tripp for telling his wife. Tripp denies it, but he's deep into his bottle, and Donald Sutherland is even more amusing when he's playing drunk, smiling the whole time like he's on the verge of laughter. He goes to give Karen a pre-wedding pep talk, but he's way too blitzed to deliver it. Luckily, she remembers his three previous speeches. He walks her down the aisle,
During the ceremony, Reverend Brian gives a nice speech about the three Cs of marriage: Confirmation, Consolation, and Joy, because sometimes life is surprising. It once again underscores how great and deep his character is, and the close-ups of Fitzgerald make me realize he could easily pass as Zachary Quinto's brother. After the wedding, the couple heads down to the reception and Freddy proposes to her again, because he truly loves her. As they make their first walk as man and wife, Karen leans over to Nick and whispers that she wants a divorce, now. Priceless!
He brings Letitia in, and Karen's mother is quite disappointed. She calls Freddy "as capable and deserving a fourth husband as you are likely to find." What a ringing endorsement. Nick pulls Freddy inside and gives him the annulment papers. Freddy asks if he still gets the divorce settlement of $3 million. He signsm takes his check, and walks out. He pities her, and swears she'll die alone and unhappy, exactly what she deserves. Later, Karen confesses that she is in love with Nick, so she kisses him and says they belong together. He quickly leaves.
At the reception, Tripp is drunk as a skunk. He tells Brian that there's a nice person buried deep, deep, deep down inside of him. Patrick and his wife are dancing and bickering. He leaves to meet up with Simon to tell him about Carmelita, his transexual mistress. Simon doesn't really care and encourages him to just be himself and tell her. It sounds like good advice, but it's quite fiendishly evil, because when Patrick leaves, some Russian walks in and talks about how they were the ones who clued Patrick's wife in to the affair.
Back at the reception, Tripp is drunkenly singing, then marvels at the bone-dry bottle of tequila. He's happy that Karen has her soul mate, and when Karen walks in to talk to him, he already knows what she's going to say, opining that they may have set a record. At Nick's house, he regales his wife with the tale of the world's shortest marriage, and she's of course upset because she knows the marriage was annulled because Karen is still in love with Nick. He vows that he's not going anywhere.
The next morning, Patrick tells his wife everything, and she's way too practical, asking to sit down with her husband and Carmelita to discuss the ground rules. Nothing is keeping her out of Washington, because she didn't marry a Darling for nothing. Suddenly, I love her. Later, Tripp shows up to say he didn't tell Patrick's wife, and that he loves his son. He offers him a home, but Patrick says they're moving into one of Simon Elder's buildings. Later, Tripp calls in Nick to formulate a game plan to destroy Simon Elder. It is so on!
Karen and Letitia pack up Freddy's things, and Karen tells her mom she wants to marry Nick. At first she's flustered, then Letitia vows to help her. I'm thinking Letitia wants to help so she can sabotage it, because Karen is the one who is not Tripp's kid, making her and Nick half-siblings.
In this episode's non-wedding storylines, the Reverend yells at his son's tailor for screwing up the suit when Brian Jr.'s mother shows up and wants to see her son. Brian yells at her and gets a little hot under the collar. He gives in and they start tongue wrestling. The next morning, she tells the Reverend that she's decided to take Brian Jr. back to Brazil with her. Aww, poor Reverend.
Juliet (
Samaire Armstrong) gets a call from ex-best friend Natalie, who tells her to turn on the radio to hear Natalie's latest song, which is about their former friendship. Jeremy (
Seth Gabel), still steaming from the whole "fake pregnancy" thing, doesn't want Juliet forgiving Natalie. The next morning, Juliet and Natalie skip down the sidewalk eating ice cream, back to being BFFs.
On the next
Dirty Sexy Money: the Darlings have dinner at the Elder estate, and thus begins the Billionaire Battle!
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)