Previously on
Desperate Housewives: The show leaped five years into the future, where Lynette's kids are juvenile delinquents, Gabi is bloated with two rugrats of her own, Bree is the next Martha Stewart and Susan is married to someone who is not Mike.
Mary Alice's voice is still haunting Wisteria Lane on
Desperate Housewives, telling us about how Susan and Mike got into a horrific car crash during the five year jump. We then get quick glimpses of all the desperate housewives.
Susan is sleeping with her new man, the house painter, but he's not allowed to stay over because she's still having relationship issues. Gabi tries to shove her fat daughter Juanita into a princess dress for a kids party, to no avail.
Bree struggles to deal with a photo shoot for her newest cookbook cover, and Katherine gets snippy because it means Bree is ignoring their catering business. The Scavo Pizzeria has been turned into a dive where Lynette is shocked to see her teenage sons gambling and drinking.
Neal McDonough plays a creepy, slightly insane guy who shows up to a house on Wisteria Lane and hands the owner two giant wads of cash to leave immediately. A little persuasion gets the job done, and Mr. Williams now owns the house, along with his wife Mrs. Williams, who happens to be the former Edie Britt.
The next morning, Edie washes her car in a bathing suit, which gets the other four housewives to come asking questions. Edie invites the girls in to meet her new husband, a motivational speaker named Dave. Edie mocks Gabi's weight gain, but Dave calms her down and seems to have softened Edie's demeanor a whole lot, causing the other ladies to fall in love with him. They decide to throw a “welcome back” party.
Lynette yells at Tom for thinking the boys' pranks are cool and going against her decision to ground them. She eventually agrees to side with Tom by letting their sons go to a homecoming dance, but as punishment for her husband, Lynette lets the boys take Tom's new mid-life crisis convertible. The boys are late for their curfew, giving Lynette a chance to talk to Tom about how they need some more serious parenting to turn the boys into responsible adults. When they get home, Tom lays down the law very seriously.
At the princess party, Gabi is upset that Juanita is indulging in her second big piece of cake and the other moms are mocking the fat kid, so when they leave, Gabi drives ahead, forcing Juanita to run and chase it. After several blocks of this, Juanita gives up and gets on a bus, forcing her mother to now give chase. Back at the house, Gabi breaks down because she's actually upset over how she's let her own body go since having the kids, but blind Carlos says she's still beautiful to him.
Bree and Katherine feud over Bree's new cookbook containing stolen recipes. During a live video segment for a local TV show, Katherine feigns injury, forcing Bree to finalize a recipe from the cookbook that was originally Katherine's that Bree can't do, resulting in disaster.
At the party for the Williams couple, Edie is stunned that Karen McCluskey is still alive. Things get tense when the ladies and Edie debate whether this is a “We’re sorry for kicking you out of our town” party or a “We forgive you for acting like total bitch” party. Dave takes Edie aside and tells her they need to have everyone like them so it all goes well.
Susan’s house painter does some karaoke, singing “I Want to be Your Boyfriend” to Susan. She drags him off stage and confesses she can’t be in a relationship. Later we see the aftermath of the crash, and Mike is OK, but the mother and baby in the other car died. Susan blamed Mike for their deaths, so now Susan and Mike share custody of their son.
In the final scene, we learn that Dave Williams really is crazy, because he’s an out-patient from a mental institution. He was committed for issues with rage, and while he’s not a danger to himself, we see a videotaped session of him saying there’s only one person who should be worried. Uh oh, someone on Wisteria Lane is in trouble.
Who is Dave Williams after?
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)