Previously on Desperate Housewives
: More than four months ago, we saw a tornado touch down on Wisteria Lane. There were several plot-convenient deaths, some unfortunate miracles (the tornado made Carlos blind!), and some happy accidents (Mrs. McClusky's house was destroyed, meaning more of the hilarious Kathryn Joosten).
The ladies of Wisteria Lane gather to bring muffins and jam to Katherine Mayfair (Dana Delany), who is hoping with the fact that her husband Adam left her. Katherine flashes back on her first husband who routinely hit her, because I love a little spousal abuse in my comedies.
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Later, Susan (Teri Hatcher
) is going over her taxes with cousin Tim (Chris Carmack, Luke from The O.C.
). He's most definitely related to her, rambling on about getting fired for sleeping with his boss' daughter, who was only 18, though he assures her it was legal because he checked with a lawyer before doing anything. Katherine and Dylan (Lyndsy Fonseca) stop by, and Tim's ears perk up when Dylan says she'll be 18 next week.
Susan and Julie (Andrea Bowen
) head off to visit Mike (James Denton
) at rehab where she calls up Tim because he has questions for Mike about the taxes. Susan hears a woman in the background, and we notice that it only took Desperate Housewives
one episode to get Chris Carmack shirtless. Nice work, Marc Cherry. Susan rushes home and finds Tim in bed with…Katherine! Is Carmack being typecast as a cougar hound? First Julie Cooper, now this. Susan is aghast, even moreso when she finds out this started back when Tim first visited Wisteria Lane, when he was 16 and Katherine took his virginity. So, it looks like Gabi isn't the only woman to seduce an underage boy on Desperate Housewives
Susan debriefs Tim later (but in a different way than Katherine de-briefed him) and learns that when he was 16, he saw Katherine hit her ex-husband with a candlestick, elongating this mystery of what happened to him. Give that he's played by Gary Cole, I suspect we'll be seeing a lot more of him.
Lynette (Felicity Huffman
) spends this episode having a sudden spiritual awakening brought on by her family surviving the tornado, so she drags the Scavo clan to Bree's Presbyterian church. During the sermon, Lynette raises her hand to ask a question, the old chestnut: Why do bad things happen to good people? She's brushed off with an answer about free will, and when she persists, the reverend invites her to Bible study.
Bree (Marcia Cross
), mortified, convinces Lynette to seek out other religions. But the next Sunday, the reverend tells Bree how fantastic Lynette was because he loves religious debate, and since Bree is gunning to chair some committee, she rushes over to the Catholic church to win back Lynette. Tom (Doug Savant
) defends the decision, saying they're Catholic, and Bree delivers yet another classic one-liner: “Mowing your lawn in a Notre Dame sweatshirt doesn't make you Catholic,”
Finally, Lynette explains that she needs answers about why she's alive after cancer and a tornado, and she thought Bree was religious. In the end, they reunite and read the Bible together.
Gabi (Eva Longoria
Parker) heads off to her Catholic church to beg the priest to marry her and Carlos (Ricardo Antonio Chavira), despite the fact that her husband Victor died just two weeks ago. He eventually agrees and they get married, though Gabi thinks Carlos will regain his sight in three to four months. Edie (Nicollette Sheridan
) bribes a frumpy nurse and finds out the truth, that the blindness is permanent, and vengefully spills this to Gabi, after the impromptu wedding. Gabi resorts to her childish mean streak and tricks blind Carlos into tripping over stools and walking into walls before forcing him to admit the truth. But she still loves him, and vows to stick with him because she loves him.
Next week on Desperate Housewives
: Orson gets naked in Susan's kitchen while Bree and Katherine co-host a black tie event. And Rick, that hot chef who hit on Lynette when he worked at the Scavo Pizzeria, returns.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)