Scotty McCreery is back in the house tonight, y'all! Holding his microphone all weird and singing about young boy things with an old man voice. Also, someone will be eliminated for choosing the wrong personal idol
. Wouldn't it be great if their personal idol could eliminate them in person? Like, if DeAndre goes home, Eric Benet would come out of the audience and say, "sorry, man, but at least you're not a sex addict ... yet!" and then he'd wink at the camera. Cut to commercial! John and I think DeAndre could be going home
tonight, even though he may have reached a personal best with his performance
After all the tears shed, and all the standing and sitting the judges did last night, someone will have to go home. It's the same every week--someone's gotta go! It's time to let Jesus and/or the voters take the wheel.
This week's results show intro argues that "everyone has their favorite," and I just don't know if that's true. I am not sure I have a favorite yet. Last night I was in quite the mood, so everyone was my least favorite. I wanted everyone to lose and go home and be sad like me! The life of a blogger.
Scotty McCreery and Nicki Minaj are performing--hopefully together! That would be fantastic. But first, "breaking Aerosmith news": they're going on tour! The tour is called the "Global Warming tour," evidently because they had to be warmed from their cryogenic freeze.
Then Ryan displayed some tweets from their personal idols, and brought ERIC BENET OUT ON STAGE. My dreams are coming true! I guess Eric Benet is really not that busy. He said everyone, specifically DeAndre, did an incredible job. DeAndre cried.
But you haven't cried for real until you've seen the Ford Music Video. The kids are trying to move a bunch of old TVs into their Fords, then they're stacking them up and watching themselves on the wall of TVs. What a fun party. Bye, Eric Benet, thanks for watching that special video with us.
Next, another special video. The contestants are moving from the hotel into the Hollywood mansion to Lana Del Rey's "Video Games." Ugh this song! The kids go tearing through the mansion, except Elise and Phillip who handle the situation like adults. The mansion is absolutely sick, though. It's a shame these kids will soon be ruining it and leaving their dirty Tommy Hilfiger clothes all over the floor.
So, who has to move out of the lap of luxury this week? Results comin' at us hard! Elise, Hollie, and Phillip
hit the stage first. My guess is Hollie from this group. Jimmy says Elise did herself and American Idol a lot of good with her performance, she deserves to stay. Jimmy also dropped the hint that next week's theme is the 1980s
Jimmy says if Stevie likes Phillip, we all should. Phillip is a big, big star and flawless. They can't get enough of this kid! Jimmy thinks Hollie lacks experience and is a bit behind the pack, specifically Jessica, who is her direct competition. Love you for keepin' it real, Jimmy! Hollie is in the bottom three, Phillip and Elise are safe
Why are you clapping? Nicki Minaj performs
next, sans Scotty McCreery. But they really should collaborate at some point. She's giving Old Navy commercial realness tonight, and cleavage visible from space. This choreography certainly has a lot of jumping, doesn't it? Nicki Minaj looks uncomfortable at times, and keeps tugging at her clothes. If you can call them clothes. Not to be out-creeped by me, Ryan comments on the "high risk" nature of Nicki's choreography and costuming in tandem.Colton, Joshua, and Heejun
join Ryan on stage. I think it will be Heejun from this group. Jimmy says Colton was "good but not good enough," then, "this is not the end of your concert where you can lose it and cry and your fans will be with you." Hahaha, Jimmy is so harsh! He says Joshua delivered 85% of the song, but his emotion got the best of him, and he loved Joshua in the Michael Jackson medley. Jimmy says it was great to see Heejun come back but it wasn't enough. "He doesn't sing as well as the other 8 contestants." Colton is safe, Joshua is safe, and Heejun is in the bottom three
. Scotty McCreery!
They put the mic on a stand so he couldn't hold it like a flute. He sure is trying, though! His song is about water towers and football and living in the South. Bless his country-lovin' heart! He seems a lot more confident now that he's on the charts and not auditioning for the judges' approval. This kid has some real stage presence now. Good for him. The song was just OK, but at least it wasn't that god awful song about how boys like peaches or whatever Lauren Alaina was singing about.
Jimmy Iovine brought out Scotty's platinum record, which was pretty cool. I know you might not like him, but I feel like Scotty is the son I never had because I would have been way too young to bear children at the time.DeAndre, Skylar, and Jessica
get their results last. Jimmy says Skylar always gives something that makes him want to vote for her, but the song was too much of a "character song." He thinks she will be in the middle of the pack. What did Jimmy think of DeAndre--man of the hour? Jimmy is right in the middle, he's not going crazy for him or disliking him, but he thinks DeAndre needs more experience. Jimmy says Jessica is, as ever, a professional with skillful vocals and says we need a little "girl power" this season. Alrighty. Jessica is safe, and Skylar is in the bottom three
. SAY WHAT?! DeAndre is safe
? Well I never. Maybe it's backlash from last week? Backlash that didn't exist for Heejun, evidently.
It appears Heejun knows he's going home next to these two girls. Ryan sends Skylar to safety
where she belongs. And the singer at risk is Heejun
. No! I mean, yes, but alas! The judges won't use their save on him, he's just too far behind. And he disrespected the competition, evidently. Man, this sucks. I'm going to miss the Heejun we didn't get to see this week: the funny one! His personality was one of the main reasons I enjoyed this season. At least he'll have the best farewell clip package of all time!
Heejun thanks the crowd, knowing full well he is going home. Jennifer cries because Heejun was delightful. Steven lowers the boom: "You saw this coming yourself after last week ... we're gonna have to let you go, man." Oh my god, it sounds like they're putting him down. Heejun's farewell tribute video reminds us of his hilarious feud with Richie the Cowboy. His legacy.
(images courtesy of FOX)