The semifinals are on the horizon for Dancing with the Stars, but only four couples will make it.  I'd like for there to be some suspense, but the fact is that Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff have been living in the bottom all season long, despite typically high scores from the judges.  Now that they're on the bottom of the Dancing with the Stars Leaderboard, it seems all but certain that time is finally up for the pop star.

But first, we get Susan Boyle dreaming a dream, and the return of Kenny Mayne and DanceCenter.  Live, from Hollywood, this is Dancing with the Stars!

The encore isn't the Perfect 30, but the Joanna Krupa and Derek Tough Futuristic Paso Doble.  Haha, my performance rankings were right!  If possible, it's even better than last night, and Derek Hough had better get an Emmy nomination next year for his choreography of this amazing routine.

Showing a stunning disconnect, Kym Johnson realizes being at the bottom of the Leaderboard is bad, while Aaron Carter ignores this fact and is just happy Carrie Ann Inaba said nice things about him.

RESULTS, PART 1:

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough are SAFE!

Yipee, my favorite couple is safe.

MICHAEL BUBLE:

Here's all I have to say about Mr. Buble: I really enjoy his music, but I can't stand him.  He has some weird aura that makes me want to smack him.  He's the Aaron Carter of singing.

RESULTS, PART 2:

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin are SAFE!

No duh.

DANCECENTER, PART 1:

Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice, Len Goodman and Stacy Keibler are trying to do comedy.  Here's everything you need to know:
-Joanna Krupa is a sexy, sexy Polish gal who laughs like a seal
-Dancing with the Stars is self-aware enough to comment on Derek and Joanna's Mambo Marathon move that looked like simulated fellatio.
-Donny Osmond is old and possibly in a long-term romantic relationship with Bruno Tonioli.
-Aaron Carter is a wuss who Kenny Mayne implies is an awful singer.  Man, I'm starting to feel bad for the kid, because even the show is now jumping on the "Mock Aaron Carter" bandwagon.

DESIGN-A-DANCE:

Sabrina Bryan is reunited with Mark Ballas to perform a Paso Doble to "Eye of the Tiger" while dressed like tigers.  It's grrrrrrrrrrrrreat! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

MICHAEL BUBLE, AGAIN:

My God, two Buble performances, DanceCenter, Design-a-Dance and we still have Susan Boyle?  This show has more filler than a teenage girl's bra on prom night.

RESULTS, PART 3:

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson are SAFE!

So Aaron and Kelly are in the bottom.  Why don't we just eliminate both of them right now and move up the finale one week?  We all know that's exactly what's going to happen.

SUSAN BOYLE:

I dreamed a dream that Susan ripped off her wig and revealed that she's really Oliver Platt in drag.  Of course she does sound ridiculously amazing, but it's still odd that this voice comes out of a woman who looks like a Monty Python character.  Susan's CD drops November 23, just in time to give it as a Christmas present to the aunt you know nothing about.

DANCECENTER, PART 2:

-Kelly swears a lot.
-In the funniest moment of this whole thing, Kenny Mayne mistakenly starts the segment critiquing Dmitry as if he's the celebrity, some random soap star.  It's allegedly a joke, but it clearly points out the fact that Mya is a total pro.
-Len claims everyone left could win, which is preposterous, and Kenny is pretty funny in mocking it.
-After a game of electronic football, Kenny declares Dmitry and his professional partner Mya as the winners.

ELIMINATION:

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff are ELIMINATED!

Yup, it's not that surprising.  He's actually a very good dancer, and if he was even remotely likable, he easily could've made the finale.  Hopefully one of the "many life lessons" he learned while appearing on Dancing with the Stars is how not to be a douche.

Len takes a moment to say how Aaron is an upstanding young man and Len would be proud if Aaron was his son.  Wow, it's kind of like handcuffing yourself to the bow of the Titanic after it hits the iceberg, only much, much worse.


Check out our complete recap of the Dancing with the Stars Week 8 Performance Show.



-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)