Half of the stars are gone. Only six pairs remain to dance. And tonight, yet another of their number will disappear forever -- or at least until he or she comes back to hang out in the audience in a week or two.
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It's times like this when I truly miss the good ol' days of David Hasselhoff and Michael Bolton. The days when it was possible to point at a contestant and say, "Now that is a terrible dancer!" Alas, those days are gone. The best we can hope for now is the recognition of those minor differences that separate the champions from the also-rans.
Who is who? No clue.Who do you expect to leave?
We got it wrong last week. Very wrong. I wonder if we'll do any better this time around? If I had to guess, I'd say no, especially since there was virtually no point spread between the top and bottom dancers. 7 points out of 70 possible separate Jennifer and Brandy from Bristol! That's not so much.
But we do need to make our predictions
, and the BuddyTV readers are pulling for Bristol and Mark as the eliminated couple this week. That pair has garnered 52 percent of the vote for elimination. Not too far behind them are Kurt and Anna, who 26 percent of readers expect will go home. Less likely losers tonight include Rick and Cheryl, Kyle and Lacey, and Jennifer and Derek, all of whom got votes. Apparently we think only Brandy and Maks are safe!
It's going to be a close one!Did you miss anything?
We wouldn't want you to fall behind before we even get results. But that's OK, because we have all of the DWTS
information you need in our week 7 performance show recap
In brief, the dances were excellent this week. Jennifer Grey left her struggles behind and tangoed into a tie for first place with Brandy. The sporty men, Rick and Kurt, managed yet another tie behind the leaders. Kyle put on a show that the judges loved, but his scores left him in fifth place. And Bristol's waltz brought up the rear with decent scores and criticism for performance.
If you missed any of the visiting stars, it's a safe bet that a few of them will stick around for tonight's show, especially with the big Skating with the Stars
announcement scheduled for some time during the broadcast.
Now it's time for The Results Show
Soon anyway. Hey, while you're waiting, why not check out our Dancing with the Stars
personality quiz? Already taken it? Try again to see if you get a different result!The live Results Show!!!
Starting with a whole lot of election night puns. Sigh... Fortunately, ABC won't cut into DWTS
, since they know what is truly
And then we move on to the repeat dance, which is Team Apolo's cha-cha. Oooh, Derek was late! Still weirded out by Kurt's headband.
Now it's time for some RESULTS!!!
Going with high and low together to begin -- Brandy and Bristol on the block.Brandy and Maks are SAFE!!!
Bristol and Mark remain in jeopardy.
Calm down crowd. Lots more results to come!
Back from commercials, and we're apparently going to see awards from the past 200 episodes.
First of all, it's the Most Dramatic Moments! Hurt arm, Kate Gosselin being a baby, a ruptured Achilles tendon, Marie Osmond collapsing on stage (they went to commercial? Wow...) and a wardrobe malfunction.
They went with Marie Osmond's fainting spell. She actually has an acceptance speech. This is going to be a long, long Results Show
, isn't it?
Time now for a Broadway cast dance from "Mary Poppins." It's weird when they add songs to shows that were already musicals. The original music wasn't enough?
Finally back from commercials and election results (if anyone wants to know what's going on in Texas, let me know), just in time for a Taylor Swift performance. She's standing like she's about to fall over in those heels. Oh, and there are dancers.
The nominees for the Best Worst Dancer now. This might be amusing. Kenny Mayne (who is that anyway?). Master P is next. Then Kate Gosselin, of course. Steve Wozniak -- he's at least fun. Billy Ray Cyrus. And the winner (?) is Kenny Mayne!
And could it be time for more RESULTS
? Probably not right away, but at least they're thinking about it. This round of results will be for Jennifer and Derek and Rick and Cheryl.
We're back now, and it's RESULTS
time!Jennifer and Derek are SAFE!!!
Rick and Cheryl are still in jeopardy.
No shocks so far, but there's still almost an hour to go!
That's it for results at the moment, but it's time for another award. This time: Biggest Dancer Transformation. Derek Hough, Tony Dovolani, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Mark Ballas, Louis Van Amstel. I guess they all used to look different. Louis Van Amstel wins! I guess the guy deserves to win something.
Rod Stewart performance time now. Please excuse me while I mute my show. I know the guy's a legend, but I have never had the ability to deal with Mr. Stewart.
It's already time for another award. Best judges' moments now. Lots of Carrie Ann emotions. Then some some curmudgeonly Len commentary. And finally a lot of Bruno insanity. I guess they all win!
Back from endless commercials and election news for more RESULTS!
Kyle and Lacey and Kurt and Anna all await their fates now.Kurt and Anna are SAFE!!!
Which means that Kyle and Lacey remain in jeopardy.
This could be very, very bad.
Time for Taylor Swift to sing again. And there's a montage. Oh lord. This show is trying to kill me isn't it.
At least Taylor Swift is amusing.
Training footage time! Because it's not like we'd want results or anything. Or that whole Skating with the Stars
announcement.RESULTS now!!!Bristol and Mark are SAFE!!!
Of course. Silly voters not caring about dancing. Sigh.Skating with the Stars
people now. Crazy, crazy (and possibly desperate) stars.
Time for the final RESULTS!
Whatever they are, I'm going to be angry. So sad...Kyle and Lacey are SAFE!Rick and Cheryl have been eliminated!
Thus proving that dancing means absolutely nothing in the competition! Oh, poor Rick is choking up. Awwwwww... Such a sad farewell to the sexy giant...
So that's it for tonight! What did you think of the results? Loved them? Hated them? Head still spinning from the insanity of it all? Leave a comment to let us know.
I must now go to quietly mourn the loss of Rick Fox. See you next week!(Images courtesy of ABC)