After Natalie Coughlin's shocking early exit from Dancing with the Stars, no one is safe.  Week 6 brings the Waltz and the Jitterbug, a Mambo Marathon, and a double elimination.  Who will succeed and who will crash and burn?  I have my Score Predictions, so let's see who comes out on top.

Live, from Hollywood, it's Dancing with the Stars!

First up, as always, is the introduction, which means I get to be a fashion critic!  Clearly the Jitterbug is no fan of fashion, because Lacey Schwimmer is dressed like a naughty French maid, Donny Osmond looks like a milk man and Kelly Osbourne looks just plain stupid.  I guess this really is a Halloween episode.

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Jitterbug

Mya has some aches and pains during the week, but nothing will stop her.  The Jitterbug is infectious fun, and so is this, but overall, I find it the least satisfying of their performances.  Mya is much better at the slow classic ballroom dances.  Bruno Tonioli falls in love, but Len Goodman and Carrie Ann Inaba are a tad underwhelmed, like me.  I predicted a 9-8-10 for them.

Mya and Dmitry's Scores: 8-7-9=24

Well, I was right about the way the judges would perceive them, but I gave an extra point for all the judges.


Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas - Waltz

I think I like MJH, but Mark Ballas annoys me.  For help, Mark calls in his mommy, which tells me everything I need to know about him.  The dance is kind of painfully dull and Melissa's face looks like Hilary Swank's, and I mean that in the worst way possible.  She's way too stiff for an elegant waltz.  I predicted an 8-8-8, so I know I'm way off.

Melissa and Mark's Score: 7-7-6=20

Ouch, that's awful for week 6, but they really deserve it.


Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer - Jitterbug

She gets him pumped up by taking him to a Jitterbug Club.  OK, there's NO WAY such things actually exist.  There dance is incredibly fun and entertaining, and Lacey is brilliant to let Mark show off and do all the big stunts, highlighting his aerial skills.  I predicted 9-9-10, but I think I might have underestimated them.  Amazing.

Mark and Lacey's Score: 9-9-8=26

Wow, how didn't they get a 10 from someone?  That was fantastic.


Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Waltz

Aaron tries to act like a mature, suave young man for his Waltz, but he still doesn't seem to get the fundamental problem: he's smarmy.  He thinks he's good and that people like him, probably a result of growing up in the Disney boy band factory where he was surrounded by screaming girls at all times and when Hilary Duff and Lindsey Lohan were fighting over him.  It ain't Aaron's Party no more, and he needs to learn to accept that.

Their dance is fine, and you can't deny that Aaron has some technical skill.  If people actually liked him, even a little bit, he could seriously win Dancing with the Stars.  I predicted 9-9-10, thinking the judges would inflate his scores to save him from being in danger again.

Aaron and Karina's Score: 8-9-8=25

He'd better pray some of the other couples score very low to keep him from the bottom.


Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova - Waltz

 Instead of rehearsing, we learn the real reason Michael is still on Dancing with the Stars: he has a radio talk show and all his crazy fans vote for him non-stop.  I bet if Louie Vito had a radio show, he'd be feeling that safe too.  And dang it, their Waltz is pretty decent, and since he has so many loyal fans, mediocre is all he needs.  At least the judges realize that Michael is nowhere near on par with everyone else.

Carrie Ann, however, spots a Lift with her super vision.  I predicted 7-7-7, and basically, the judges are all over the map.  Len is an idiot, because he's still grading on a cuve, with higher expectations for Mya and lower expectations for Michael.

Michael and Anna's Score: 6-8-6=20

Ha, Carrie Ann and Bruno are totally trying to get rid of him.  But does Len seriously think Michael's dance was better than Mya's?


Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Amstel - Jitterbug

Kelly is totally the Eeyore of this season, always doubting herself, assuming she's awful and having no self-confidence.  It's quite sad and pathetic.  Louis makes Kelly do some trapeze work to overcome her fears, and unlike Mika on The Amazing Race, she's willing to take the Leap of Faith.  Their dance is just OK, but as always, Kelly is way too reserved.  And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but she looks exactly like the Muppet Babies version of Miss Piggy.  I predicted 8-7-8, which seems about right.

Kelly and Louis' Score: 7-6-7=20

Ouch, that's ugly.  The good news is that she would almost certainly win a dance-off against Melissa, Michael, or Louie.


Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower - Jitterbug

Louie stumbles in rehearsal, but their routine is AMAZING!  It's so energetic and full of personality.  Louie even jumps on the judges' table, rips off his sleeves and does a massive back flip.  The judges warn against a lack of precision, but who cares, because it's so much fun.  I predicted 8-7-8, but I think they deserve better.

Louie and Chelsie's Score: 7-7-7=21

Boo, they were so entertaining they deserve some extra credit.  Also, with four couples at 20 or 21, it means Michael Irvin will definitely avoid the bottom 3 and not even have to compete in the dance-off.  Double boo!


Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Waltz

Flu boy is back.  You think a supermodel would be good at being graceful, but Joanna is like a bull in a china shop during the rehearsal.  Their actual performance is much better, a beautiful little Waltz.  However, I expected more, predicting 10-9-10, which isn't even close.

Joanna and Derek's Score: 8-9-9=26

Wow, that's a bit better than I expected, but very pleasant since they're still my pick to win the whole thing.


Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson - Jitterbug

 Old man Donny is easily tired by the fast-paced Jitterbug.  It turns out the outfit I thought was a milk man is actually a train conductor.  The dance is fun, but it's designed for a man at least half Donny's age.  I suppose the fact that it didn't kill him is a compliment.  I'm happy that the judges aren't so won over by the personality to notice the many bumps and off moments.  I predicted 8-9-8.

Donny and Kym's Score: 8-8-8=24

Finally, I got one mostly right.  But still, it's week 6 and the highest score was 26?  This was one weak week.


Mambo Marathon

All the couples will dance at once and based on endurance and skill, and they'll be tapped out one at a time.  Michae's Irvin's strategy is to muscle the crap out of everyone.  The first couple out gets 2 points, the next couple out 3 points and so on.

1st Out: Michael and Anna: 2+20=22
2nd Out: Louie and Chelsie: 3+21=24
3rd Out: Melissa and Mark: 4+20=24
4th Out: Kelly and Louis: 5+20=25
5th Out: Mark and Lacey: 6+26=32
6th Out: Donny and Kym: 7+24=31
7th Out: Aaron and Karina: 8+25=33
8th Out: Mya and Dmitry: 9+24=33
WINNERS: Joanna and Derek: 10+26=36

Woohoo, my couple wins the marathon and looks incredibly sexy doing it.  And with a six point difference between fifth and sixth, you can bet that the two couples going home will come from that bottom four.

Tomorrow night is a double elimination.  The lowest total will go home, but the second and third lowest will compete in a dance-off to be decided by the judges.  Michael had better pray he has a ton of fan support, because he would DEFINITELY go home in a dance-off.


My Prediction

I'll be bold and predict that Michael somehow avoids the bottom 3, meaning Melissa gets sent home in the bottom and allowing Kelly to beat out Louie in the dance-off and send him home as well. 



-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)