The first dances of Dancing with the Stars season 13 have now been danced. We can finally move past the photos and the speculation and the controversy. We can even pretend that it's all about the dancing! It's not, but the illusion is kind of fun.
Illusion or not, we now have to predict which of these celebrities will be the first to disappear from our reality-TV lives. With no obvious frontrunners in week 1, which DWTS celebrity will be the first elimination?
Most Likely to GoRon Artest (score = 14)
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The opening dance of this season of Dancing with the Stars
was sloppy and much criticized by the judges. On the other hand, it was a lot of fun. Which will be more important to voters? It's hard to say, although Metta World Peace might just squeak through for another week.Elisabetta Canalis (score = 15)
Elisabetta's dance wasn't terrible. But it was wholly forgettable. Add in the fact that the Italian lady is nearly incomprehensible (especially to partner Val) and doesn't want to talk about one George Clooney, and audiences may be ready to let Elisabetta go.Most Deserves to GoElisabetta Canalis
Already, this is the star I care the least about. There's no chemistry between her and Val. And the dance wasn't great in any possible sense. Elisabetta should be the first to go.Should Be WorriedRob Kardashian (score = 16)
While Rob wasn't nearly as bad as some (like me) would have expected, he couldn't quite shake the frat-boy-dancing-at-a-wedding vibe in his opener. The Kardashian name, however, might be expected to carry Rob for another week or two.Nancy Grace (score = 16)
In one of the night's biggest shockers, Nancy Grace was not terrible. Her scores were merely adequate, but you can't deny that the lady looked to be having fun. It doesn't hurt that her partner, Tristan, is fully adorable (and my new DWTS
crush).Carson Kressley (score = 17)
The dance was far, far from perfect. But that was an awesome performance. Unless Carson turned off viewers with his silliness, the man should have little trouble returning to dance again.Kristin Cavallari (score = 19)
Kristin wasn't bad. She was actually fairly good. She was just stiff and a bit boring. It's unlikely for this to be a problem so early in the competition, but it does keep Kristin away from the early group of leaders.Probably Safe... For Now
Chaz Bono (score = 17)
Not the best score, but definitely an adequate performance for the first week. Couple that with the strong support being given to Chaz from some quarters, and Chaz should have no problems sticking around for awhile.David Arquette (score = 18)
David looked surprisingly at ease (even with some flubs) while dancing a very formal style. His ex-wife, Courtney Cox, and daughter increased David's appeal with their front-row cheers. He's one of the best-known of the season 13 celebrities. It's unlikely that David Arquette is going anywhere.Ricki Lake (score = 20)
Ricki is partnered with Derek Hough and dances well. The "I'm just like Kirstie Alley!" stuff is likely to get old, but she's otherwise charming. If Ricki can keep her scores up, she's a likely candidate to go far in this competition.Hope Solo (score = 21)
Although apparently totally uncomfortable with performing, Hope showed no nerves on the dance floor and looked great with Maks. Really great. They may win for the most attractive couple of the season, honestly. Hope is a definite possibility to lead the group if she can up the charisma just a bit.Chynna Phillips (score = 22)
Chynna gave us what was probably the first "good" dance of the evening when she took to the floor with Tony. We should have ample time to see the pop star's prowess with less flowing dances over the next several weeks.J.R. Martinez (score = 22)
Who was the most pleasant surprise of the evening? For me, it was J.R., who looked completely natural and lovely in his Viennese waltz. Add in a ridiculously great attitude and an actually heroic backstory, and I can't imagine him going anywhere.
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