The dances matter more than ever this week. Even though we’ve already had two (semi-) traumatic eliminations on Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars, two more have to go this week. Exactly who gets the boot depends mostly on what happens in the week 3 dances. So you should probably check out this recap to find out what does happen. It’s only logical.

Granted, each week of dancing often follows the weeks that came before. Bad dancers don’t suddenly perform like pros, and the top celebrities rarely tumble to the bottom. With that in mind, here are the standings going into week 3 of Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars.

1. Gilles Marini and Peta Murgtroyd — 49.5 total points
2. Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel — 48.5 total points
3. (tie) Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough — 47 total points
3. (tie) Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke — 47 total points
5. Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff — 46.5 total points
6. (tie) Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower — 44.5 total points
6. (tie) Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani — 44.5 total points
8. Drew Lachey and Anna Trebunskaya — 44 total points
9. Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy — 43 total points
10. Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy — 40 total points
11. Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas — 37.5 total points

Can we expect the same rankings to hold after this week? Honestly, probably not. We’re not exactly dealing with a comprehensive data set after only two weeks, after all.

But this isn’t about statistics (mostly). It’s about dancing! So let’s get to that!

Want to hear what it’s like to be on Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars from someone competing in the season? Check out BuddyTV’s interview with Melissa Rycroft!

It should be an interesting night — the celebrities are directing the dances.

Don’t want to read the whole recap? Then check out our week 3 performance rankings for a summary!

First up, we’ve got…

Drew Lachey and Anna Trebunskaya
Dancing the cha-cha

My Comments: I guess this is a cha-cha that was once performed by fellow boy-bander Joey Fatone. Tribute? Maybe…

Drew is definitely dressed like a guy in a boy band. I’m not exactly sure how this is supposed to be like a concert. But I never went to a boy-band concert, so maybe it is. Anna is a lot more prominent than Drew throughout a lot of this, but he’s doing pretty good with what he has — no awkwardness and he seems to keep up.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “I liked the concept that you brought out there, I liked the content… Overall, that was terrific!”
Bruno: “The rock star goes Magic Mike!” “It worked with Channing Tatum, it’s gonna work for you.”
Carrie Ann: “I thought the creative direction was great.” “Your moves were tight and precise.”

Scores: 8+8+8 = 24

Not a bad start.

Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd
Dancing the tango

My Comments: “Do not repaint Picasso. Be one.” Tee-hee…

It may not have been flying, but sorry Gilles. You’re not the first one on a wire. Tony Dovolani did it (with Audrina Patridge) a few seasons ago. But this is different.

Very different. He does look like he’s actually flying. Cool. Also, “Sweet Dreams” as the song immediately brings win to this. This seems like a rather angry dream for Gilles. That’s what happens when you dream about the tango, apparently. This is extremely dramatic. And, as far as an amateur like me can tell, the technique is excellent.

Also, this is roughly the best musicality I’ve seen on DWTS in ages.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “What I liked was the menace!” “It just occasionally went a little bit cranky.”
Bruno: “I think you can fly in and out of any bed you choose…” “50 shades of Gilles…” “A couple of wobbles though.”
Carrie Ann: “If Peter Pan looked that good growing up, I would have listened a little bit more to that fairy tale.” “You were out of sync and that’s what caused all the wobbles.”

Scores: 8+8.5+8.5 = 25

Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani
Dancing the samba

My Comments: Unrelated to the dancing, but Melissa Rycroft speaks in complete sentences better than almost any celebrity I’ve ever interview. It’s nice.

Apparently they’re doing something that’s never been done before on Dancing with the Stars. I probably won’t know what it is.

Um, she just dropped onto her head. And then stood up from that position. Good lord. They go into more normal dancing after that. It’s a quite intricate dance — very fun and fast. And you definitely can’t accuse Melissa of letting Tony do the heavy lifting. This was all her.

And there are streamers!

Judges’ Comments
Len: “That’s what I’m talking about! That was like a can of cola!” “This is knockout, I’m telling you.”
Bruno: “Shake me, take me, any way you want me!” “You did it like a star!”
Carrie Ann: “That was fantastic! I love all the samba drops…”

Scores: 9+9+9 = 27

Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff
Dancing the foxtrot

My Comments: Emulating Gills’ sexiness is dangerous. Just saying…

With the statues, this reminds me an awful lot of that SYTYCD number last summer. Very different dance though. This one is very swing-y. Apolo may not be achieving Gilles levels of sexiness, but he definitely has a fair amount of sexy in this. There is a bit of the male-dancer silly hands at times, but not bad. The rest just totally works. But they could have done it without the statues.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “It had fluidity of movement, there was great musicality… It’s a terrific dance.”
Bruno: “The muse of dance brought back to life…” “It was exquisite.”
Carrie Ann: “I thought that was absolutely stunning.” “I thought his arms were beautiful.”

Scores: 9+8+8.5 = 25.5

Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy
Dancing the paso doble

My Comments: Ah, sibling rivalry. The basis of every great performance.

That’s a very big matador cape. Too bad it doesn’t stick around. But that might interfere with the dance. This particular paso doble looks about as angry as your average tango. Maybe even angrier. Emotionally, this isn’t grabbing me the way some do. Technically, however, it’s excellent.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “Where did that come from?” “Terrific expression from your face.”
Bruno: “That for you, Kelly, is a defining performances!” “I’m tingling with pleasure.”
Carrie Ann: “Val and Kelly, you guys are the couple to watch.” “You smacked that paso doble’s… booty!”

Scores: 9+9+9 = 27

Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Dancing the cha-cha

My Comments: Kirstie Alley is correct about what draping looks like on big boobs.

They have a mini Cooper on the stage. And groupies. And Maks looks so insane that Kirstie forgot to dance for a second. Actually maybe more than a second. There are definitely a couple of missed steps in there. But precision isn’t what keeps Kirstie around, so that probably doesn’t matter. Hair tossing and random chicken dances are what keep Kirstie around.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “I want the celebrities to be in charge of the choreography each week.” “It was the whole package.”
Bruno: “I nearly burst a gut.” “He’s like an extra from Boogie Nights.”
Carrie Ann: “Thank you. Because that was the most fun I’ve had all night.” “That was your best dance so far of the season.”

Scores: 8+8+8 = 24

BOMBSHELL ANNOUNCEMENT #1

Paula Abdul will be a guest judge next week! Because she hates FOX now or something.

Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel
Dancing the paso doble

My Comments: It makes sense to perform a dance once dedicated to you, I guess. This is a very dramatic paso doble. It’s simple in terms of trappings — not much in the way of props, glitzy costumes or even lighting. All it is is a fast and furious dance. The result is pretty incredible.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “It was full of risks — but, in addition to that, it was full of technique.”
Bruno: “At times it looked like you were leading Louis!”
Carrie Ann: “The technique and the content was all there…” “I don’t think you brought anything new.”

Scores: 8.5+8.5+8.5 = 25.5

Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke
Dancing the paso doble

My Comments: There are a lot of people on that stage. Emmitt does not, however, dance with most of them. Just near them. Emmitt is doing fairly well, but this seems like another of those dances in which the pro does a lot of the work. When Emmitt does stuff, it looks good.

At least he didn’t kill Cheryl with that dive at the end.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “You know what you’ve got, Emmitt, is presence.” “I would have liked a tad more finesse.”
Bruno: “I thought you were going to kill her!” “You were so tough and so strong.” “Watch your shoulders, because sometimes your shoulders go up.”
Carrie Ann: “Emmitt is back in the house! You are the human torpedo, man.”

Scores: 8.5+8+8.5 = 25

Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower
Dancing the quickstep

My Comments: In terms of personality, it’s quite possible that no dancer is better suited to the quickstep than Helio. He’s obviously having a great time, and the technique shown is quite impressive. Despite a great performance, this still doesn’t connect emotionally the way it probably should. Happy and fun, just nothing else.

Still, awfully good. Wait? He got caught in her dress? Missed that.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “This dance deserves to be back next week.”
Bruno: “It started with a blast… it kind of collapsed.”
Carrie Ann: “It was so good! You’re the quickstep king!”

Scores: 8.5+8.5+8.5 = 25.5

BOMBSHELL ANNOUNCEMENT #2

After this week, the dancers will be picking the styles for the other performers. You should seriously see the confused faces of the celebrities and pros at this announcement. They definitely didn’t know.

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas
Dancing the paso doble

My Comments: Apparently, they went back and rehearsed after the big blow-up. Probably. Actually, definitely. Bristol Palin cannot dance this well without rehearsing. They were probably back in the practice room within minutes.

The dance itself is rather spectacularly on a chess board. Bristol does well with the dance she has, but it doesn’t look as hard or as technical as the other paso dobles we’ve seen tonight.

Judges’ Comments
Len: “I thought you had plenty of attack… the most content of any dance you’ve done.”
Bruno: “The ice queen with a killer streak!” “Your best dance up to date.”
Carrie Ann: “I think you’re proving yourself a worthy competitor.”

Scores: 7.5+7.5+7.5 = 22.5

Finally…

Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough
Dancing the something

My Comments: A trampoline? Well, that is different.

Yep. Trampolines. That’s a cool beginning. And Shawn is wearing pants, which makes me happy. You’ve got to have some variety from all those dresses occasionally. I’m not sure why this wouldn’t have enough quickstep in it — there seems to be plenty. Maybe it’s because of all the crazy tricks that no dancers other than these two can even do.

And they end by falling off the stairs into nothingness. Wow. Now that is an ending!

Judges’ Comments
Len: “Your ability to interpret music into music is incredible.” “Derek, I’ve never enjoyed a routine more… But you can do what you like, I have to be honest.”
Bruno: “This is a classic! One of the best dances — if not the best dance — I’ve seen in 15 seasons.”
Carrie Ann: “You gave me happy feet! Wooooooooooooo!” “That is by far the best dance we’ve ever seen on Dancing with the Stars.”

Scores: 9+8+9.5 = 26.5

Also… Seriously? Is Shawn never out of breath?

And that’s it for the dances this week. Which dancers did the best? The worst? Who is in the most danger in the double elimination tomorrow night? Leave your comments below!

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(Images courtesy of ABC)

Laurel Brown

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Laurel grew up in Mamaroneck, NY, Grosse Pointe, MI and Bellevue WA. She then went on to live in places like Boston, Tucson, Houston, Wales, Tanzania, Prince Edward Island and New York City before heading back to Seattle. Ever since early childhood, when she became addicted to The Muppet Show, Laurel has watched far too much TV. Current favorites include ChuckModern FamilySupernaturalMad Men and Community. Laurel received a BA in Astrophysics (yes, that is possible) from Colgate University and a PhD in Middle Eastern Studies and History of Science from Columbia University before she realized that television is much better than studying.