Dancing with the Stars kept us entertained with five hours of programming this week. ABC keeps trying to make drama about the show, pointing out the father-son, brother-sister, youngest-oldest rivalries, but I’m really just interested in the dancing, personally. Good thing, then, that we were veritably saturated in ballroom dance this week, and for the most part, it was very entertaining.

I’ve had a few days to mull over the three-night premiere, and I have come up with a list of bests and worsts of the week.

Best Performance – Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer’s cha cha cha

I think the fact that Lance and Lacey were not at the top of the standings is a complete travesty. No disrespect to Brooke Burke and Derek Hough – because they really surprised me with two fabulous performances – but I thought that Lance and Lacey’s cha cha from Monday was the best performance of the night. That performance garnered two 8s from the judges, but it’s just because Len Goodman is an old fuddy-duddy that they didn’t score higher. I’m not usually one to consider conspiracy theories, but I think that the judges might be purposely scoring them lower so that we don’t have a repeat of Kristi Yamaguchi’s runaway train from last season. Lacey brings a fresh outlook to her choreography, and I find them both insanely fun to watch.




Worst Performance – Jeffrey Ross and Edyta Sliwinska’s cha cha cha

Jeff must have been having a hard time, having suffered an eye injury earlier in the day. But no explanation can excuse the hot mess that we witnessed on the first night of competition. He didn’t complete any of his motions, and had a confused look on his face the entire routine. He was the definition of awkwardness, poor guy. At least, he improved somewhat when he and Edyta got to perform their prepared quickstep the following night.




Best Improvement – Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff

Before the season started, I predicted that Rocco wouldn’t be a great dancer at all. I predicted that even Karina’s skill as a teacher and choreographer wouldn’t be enough to make this man graceful. Well, I think I was proven wrong after their second performance. These two improved the same amount in terms of points as Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani did, but I think Rocco’s improvement was more impressive. He really shined in his mambo. Well done, sir!




Worst Costume – Warren Sapp and Inna Brayer

This one’s a tie between Warren Sapp and Inna Brayer. Curiously, they are both dressed in purple. I realize Warren is a big guy who has difficulty in finding wearable clothing in his size, but you’d think that the Dancing with the Stars costume department could whip up something for him that doesn’t make him look like Grimace.

And Inna, Inna, Inna. What’s up with the drapery of purple, open to reveal her Princess Leia. It’s just bizarre.




Best Worst Dancer – Cloris Leachman

I think if Jeffrey Ross and Cloris Leachman were to go head-to-head in a dance competition that is purely based on technique, even then Cloris would lose. She might be the absolute worst performer ever to have appeared on Dancing with the Stars in the shows seven-season history. She is that bad. I bet even the clumsiest of all of us could have danced the mambo better than she did on Tuesday night. However, Cloris is also probably the most redonkulously entertaining stars the show has ever had. She is absolutely unapologetic in being crass, making off-color jokes and sexual innuendos, and then, in the next breath, she says things like “mean and not nice,” just like an innocent old lady would. Cloris is one helluva funny old broad who really doesn’t give a hoot about what comes flying out of her dirty, dirty mouth. I don’t think she should stay on in the competition for too much longer, but I’m so glad that she has made it through the first week.




Worst Musical Choice – “Baby Got Back” for Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas’ mambo

Look, I’m as much of a fan of a big booty as the next person. I’m not uptight about “Baby Got Back” and its single entendres at all. In fact, I really like the song in that nostalgic-for the-early-‘90s kind of way. (I also absolutely love Jonathan Coulton’s cover of the song. Y’all should check it out here. And then, while you’re at it, you should listen to his two masterworks, “Code Monkey” and “Re: Your Brains.”) I think if Kim and Mark had the skills to pull off an amazing mambo, then the song choice would have merely been cocky and amusing. As it were, however, Kim danced it poorly, and it ended up just looking kind of sad.






-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Images courtesy of ABC)