Dancing with the Stars
, the results show. Clyde the Glide should be eliminated, but America loves their athletes, so you never know. As much as I love Clyde, I do not ever want to see him dance again. It's ABC's fault for asking a 6'7” person to be on the show. Foolish. Anyway, what follows are my live thoughts while watching tonight's episode.
Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris = The Dream Team.
John Ratzenberger is a good man.
Someone punch me in the head: Billy Ray Cyrus really IS on the show. I thought I was hallucinating.
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Oh yeah, Heather fell. That was fun.
Sick outfit from Ziering last night.
Did you know that Apolo Ohno and Sanjaya Malakar are from the same hometown? It's true. Federal Way, WA.
The judges choose Apolo to come back on for an encore of last night's Samba which garnered a perfect score.
We get a professional dance routine by the Dancing with the Stars tour professionals. They're doing a Swing routine to “Zoot Suit Riot” by The Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Remember the Swing comeback in the 90's? Yeah, that was just plain silly. Just tells you how bad music was for a while there in the 90's.
They're pros, so they're good.
The hour-long results show has 58 minutes of filler. We all know this, yet we still watch. Discuss amongst yourselves.
We get an interview backstage with Heather, Joey and Apolo.
We hear feedback from audience members from last night. Lance Bass and Sugar Ray Leonard.
Time to reveal the preliminary results.
Laila and Max are safe.
John and Edyta are safe.
Then we got commercial. This is excruciating. Macy Gray and Lisa Rinna will also perform.
Lisa Rinna is performing “Roxie” from the musical “Chicago”. It sounds okay. She'll be performing on Broadway soon.
Jimmy Kimmel makes an appearance. He'll be dancing with his stagehand Guillermo. This is bizarre. Pretty funny though. I can't even explain what Guillermo is wearing. Joey Fatone makes an appearance with Guillermo in the Ladies' bathroom.
And another commercial.
There was about a 10 week period five years ago when I kind of enjoyed Macy Gray's music. It's possible I was being served Roofie Coladas during that period by my roommate. Perhaps I was on a Peyote binge. It's hard to tell.
Apolo and Julianne and are safe.
Joey and Kym are safe.
promo with the “Requiem for a Dream” music gives me the chills. How good has Lost been lately? Good God!
Ziering is the man.
We get a montage of the judges, well, judging. I hate when people whine about the judges doing their jobs. It's a TV show that's supposed to be entertaining. Of course they occasionally have to say mean things.
Let's find out the bottom two.
Clyde and Elena are in the bottom two. Not a surprise.
Ian and Cheryl are safe.
Billy Ray and Karina are safe. A little surprising.
Heather and Jonathan are in the bottom two.
It's got to be Clyde and Elena. We'll find out after the commercial. Moment of truth. Cue the dramatic music.
Clyde gives a fist pump when he learns that he'll be leaving. Too bad.
So that's it. Clyde and Elena will be going home.
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Photo courtesy of ABC)