Dear Jeremy London,

You really annoyed me on Party of Five. Actually, it may have been your character Griffin that annoyed me, but honestly Julia's boyfriend Justin annoyed me more. So in hindsight, maybe it's a good thing Griffin and Julia had an affair. Plus, I always got you confused with your brother Jason. But I did think you were kind of hot in Dazed and Confused. Oh wait, not you?

Anywho, I just want to say, I was on your side when I first heard that you were kidnapped. I mean, sort of. That is, until I heard that it was your mad acting skills that got you out of this crazy jam.

"If I heard someone saying this, I would probably doubt it as well," you told People. "I was acting my way through the whole thing, telling myself, 'Just play like you are one of them.'"

Yeah, just play like you are a crazy drug addict. I think you made it especially convincing when you allegedly tried to score Xanax and Oxycontin from the alleged kidnapper--um, allegedly--and then accompanied him to his house to meet his wife and kids. If there were an Emmy award for Best Acting by a Forgotten C-lister in an Alleged Kidnapping, my friend, you would be, well, the only nominee--and a shoe-in to win, I might add. So is that how you scored this awesome role on Celebrity Rehab? Yep, you'll be collecting your $40,000 paycheck, according to Radaronline.com, when you check in this weekend and standing alongside other acting greats like Tila Tequila and Shauna Sand.

All I can say is bravo, Jeremy, bravo. Slow clap.

Sincerely,
Your fan, sort of...when I was 15

(Image: WENN)