Celebrity Rap Superstar

Celebrity Rap Superstar is back, minus one Countess Vaughn.  Tonight we narrow it down to the final three as the celebrities compete in a speed rapping challenge, guest judged by Twista.  Kevin Hart welcomes us to another live hour of rapping, and we go straight into the rankings.  The top two are safe, while the bottom two will compete and the judges will decide which of them goes.

Shar Jackson came in first place, finally unseating Kendra Wilkinson, who only got bumped down to second.  So the two ladies are safe, while Sebastian Bach and Perez Hilton are the bottom two, and the judges will have a tough choice to make.  Both have a lot of pluses in my book, so it will be interesting to see who goes and which man competes against the ladies for the title of Celebrity Rap Superstar.

Shar Jackson, with MC Lyte

She gets Twista's "Overnight Celebrity,"  It becomes clear why Twista is considered the fastest rapper around, because she's like the Micro Machines guy, and she absolutely nails it.  If there's any justice, we could ed this competition right now and give Shar the title.  The judges all rightfully recognize the mad skillz she just dropped.  It was the banoodlest performance of the entire show.


Kendra Wilkinson, with Too Short

K-Hart hopes Kendra can move her mouth as fast as she moves her ass.  She gets the sexually charged "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris, which is a personal favorite of mine.  She's sporting pig tails and an itty bitty little dress, while singing into a microphone that looks like an old fashioned lollipop.  Obviously she's catering to the fantasies of a lot of the men watching.  She messes up a bit towards the middle and it turns into a train wreck, but the judges are all too nice to her.  Their rationale is that they expected much worse, which is kind of insulting that they're setting the bar so much lower for her.


Sebastian Bach, with Kurupt

He gets the difficult task of "Bombs Over Baghdad" by Outkast.  He's pretty good, but he's way too focused on getting all the words out (which he does) that his performance is kind of still.  The judges are overall positive, but not raving, and Perez has a little room to wiggle into the top three.


Perez Hilton, with Tone Loc

The blogging diva doesn't get much help from his mentor, because Tone is a very slow and methodical rapper.  The song is Big Punisher's "Still Not a Player."   He rolls out  in one of the those kids Hummers, and he definitely brings it.  It's a solid job not as flashy as his others, but still nice.  The judges are all regretting the fact that he's good, because it makes the choice harder.  Honestly, no matter what the judges pick, I won't be able to argue against it.  Ideally, they'll say "Screw the rules" and eliminate Kendra, as she's clearly miles behind the other three remaining rappers.


It's time for another Celebrity Rap Superstar elimination.  The judges vote to keep Sebastian Bach.  Hmm, I wonder if there's going to be a blog post about this.  He of course gets one last plug for his website, by which I mean three plugs.  Now that's how you increase website traffic!  We get a retrospective of his performances, and I'm reminded just how awesome he's been each and every week.  Then he plugs his VH1 TV show, just to make sure he maximizes this exposure.

Kendra had better go next week, because otherwise the finale is (or should be) a foregone conclusion.  But Shar and Sebastian, either one could win it and make this competition worthy of a second season.  The problem with a live show is they wrapped it up a little too soon, and Kevin Hart stretches every possible moment to take us to the end.  After improvising for way too long, he's finally saved by a performance from Twista.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)